When the cool crisp rush of air hits your warm face, through your nostrils
That's the sensation
For a quick sensation
Is it worth it to get frost bite?
To have your heart turned black ?
What must you do to make it turn gold
Like the beautiful foliage of rust yellow leaves
Placed beneath your feet.
You know all of this will disappear when the heavens will cry and winter will come.
The white sprinkle of innocence will cover the ground
Leaving you will a clear state of mind
But these colours confuse you,
When the cool crisp rush of air hits your warm face.

Have you looked at it this way that challenged you more than one?
Happiness comes not often but in many forms.
My thoughts consume my mind of distraction and misinformation
Why am I chasing this like a shadow at dusk running quicker and quicker until the sun sets leaving me blind nothing to trust but instinct.
Feeling my heavy breaths I feel frightened , yet relief?
Nothing but this image and perhaps a spec of light.
Why am I reluctant, shouldn't I succumb to that one last chance to salvage myself from the unknown ?
That light is safe, as I walk my heart does not skip a beat because I know what's to come
But if I face the other direction my heart tremors with excitement for the unknown.
It yearns for it
It needs it.
For if not this will be my only chance to get over that fear
I pace the other way
Nothing to see except the bleakness of the night.

It's been months since I've seen that beautiful smile, makes me gasp, reminiscing about your hugging and teasing
loving and squeezing.
Searching for the one that you loved.
But now all that I am is shoved to the back of your head.
Now, hatred,disgust and that feeling of loss of trust.
I am waiting for that day until you realize
yesterday is dead;
I shed a tear
but eventually you will remember that that California bed that we once lied in will come back.

But not after that lying, mistrust and lost of integrity that I regretfully placed upon thee
I was the puff to your high, the Cheech to my Chong.
The lazy days the way you looked at me,
tears running down my face simultaneously.
The touch is gone, the feelings moved on.
I've made mistakes in the past
I want to believe I still got a reason.
All I want to do it make it last,
but so long
it's all in the past.

After feeling like this, to my lowest low and my highest high
You made me realize what it’s like to die, not emotionally but physically
A new thought I never had in my head,
To have my breath shortened, just because I let you into my bed.
This is a new extreme for me, which is hard to beat.
For you filled my life with guilt, shame and deceit.
You pushed me to the ground, deteriorating every little ounce of me
Testing me with trivial questions. I should have recognized the warning sign, bright yellow and shiny black titled “hazard”. Like the reflection of a roadwork sign, saying slow down, danger, caution, this is the borderline.
My instinct was right, No honour go back I said.
You had something over me, like a beautiful grey moth entranced to the light, but deep down inside I knew your world burned too bright. Your personality just stuck to me,as if I was ants attracted to the sweet honey that dripped off the honey comb.
Inside, I knew I should go home.
Words fly, tensions get high.
Why did I not go back to Vendome?
His hands strong hands wrapped round my soft neck, pushing me into the bed, I felt my heart pulsating.
I closed my eyes wishing that he would push harder and longer, to actually feel something other than this pain and misery that he placed upon me.
He looked at me in gratification, that smirk said it all, as he accomplished sometime great like an encore at curtain call.
A look of a great man, big and powerful now its time to take a shower, as what he did was nothing the matter.
My state in shock. What has happened? Is this really unmasking his disguise?
For the mask he wore was unforeseen, like a child at halloween.
The tears in my eyes was not avid, until he clenched his hand to play rock paper scissors,
but little did I know that his rock would cut through my paper.
leaving me with bruises and now a traitor.

Love.

An idea for which I am a fool
As there is not one solid rule

Love is endless, love is blind
Inside yourself, you will find
Those who are sweet, those who are kind
Can all be equally entwined.
But our hearts are overly defined,
Made complicated by our mind.

Love cannot be captured,
just as the heart will not be fractured.
Love is free to see the world as it believes it should be.
Love is not ours to take, or to lay at mercy's sake.
Love is the reason why we lie awake,
smiling at the lives we make.
Should these bonds we build be shattered,
it is our worlds that break.

Love can move mountains.
It is the water in our fountains.
Love is anywhere you smile;
Found at every foot and mile.
Across the ocean, on every isle,
You will find love's gentle style.

Heart beating fast,
like a blast of sheer emotion,
you pray that it will last.
Cast out from reality,
you passed into a fantasy
of a world split into duality.
And although you love so much,
there is only one soul yours has touched.


And you can't stop thinking of her.


You will meet a girl who will change your world
and you will never love again.

She will change your perception,
and although you love the world,
she is your one exception.
She is your other half, another part of you.
She is your joy, your smile and laugh.
Her heart beats every time yours fleets.
Breath taken by the beauty of her soul
and for once in your life,
you feel that you are whole.
No longer is she fantasy,
and she is better than reality.
She becomes your everyday vitality
as she is fills your life with glee.

Not just one heart,
but two,
beating to synchronicity.