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Victoria Laws Jun 2017
Does it count as a loss,
if you're never really sure
you had it to begin with?

Did I lose your love,
or was I just delusional
in thinking you ever loved me
anyway?

I'm sitting here
confused and shattered
over something
I now realize
I might have never had.

But
how could a love
I artificialized in
my own head seem
so
****
real
?

Call me pathetic
because I'll sit here
mourning my delusions
and pretending
that what we had was
worth it.
i wish i knew how u felt, so i wouldn't feel so alone in all this. cause rn, it seems like i'm broken, and ur just beginning again.
Victoria Laws Jun 2017
His care for the world
Inspires me
His devotion
To the ocean
Makes me smile
And although I tease him
His environmental awareness
Is my favorite part about him

He understands music
On such a deep level
I love watching his eyes light up
When he talks about
His favorite musicians

When he cares about you
He makes you feel like
The most important person in the world
I miss feeling like that person.

The way he wraps his arms
Around your waist
And pulls you close
Like he never wants you
More than a centimeter apart from him
Is magical

He makes you feel safe
In the scariest moments
And secure
When your life is falling apart

But he's got his demons too,
No one is safe from that.
He's jealous,
vague,
closed-off,
angry.

But if you love him enough,
Support him right,
Take care of him,
Those demons won't even matter

His love can sometimes be mistaken
As lust
And if you're not careful,
It'll hurt you.

But I promise he loves you,
It's shown through small actions.
"There's a really good restaurant, I want to take you."
"When's your next game? I'm coming to watch."
"I want you to have dinner with my family."

His love is indirect, but I promise it's there.
His beating heart
Only sees you...

It used to only see me too.
Victoria Laws Jun 2017
Recently,
All I've wanted to do
Is bring a bottle of champagne
To your place
And get drunk under the
Yesteryear stars
Of you
And me
Yet, it's never that
Sweet and simple,
Is it?

My love was so pure
I didn't realize
I ended up
Following him
All the way to Hell
For nothing.

Recently,
I find peace in watching the sun
Sink behind the towering
City buildings,
When the noise of the city
Seems to disappear for just a
Few minutes.
With it sinks my
Incessant thoughts...
For just a few minutes

Today I realized
My life is nothing without my words
And he is everything I write.

Recently,
I shook hands with chaos
And we had a long chat
It said to me
"You've become the person
I feared you would"

Funny how he sleeps peacefully
As I sit here
Sleeplessly drunk on
The thoughts of him and me
Consumed
With the incessant need
To caress him
With my poetry.

Recently,
I've found serenity
In the green grass
And blue sky
And I will stay at peace
Until a storm comes
And takes these from me too

Recently,
I've been lost

— The End —