You were my first.
My first in a non ****** way.
You were my first emotionally,
The first one I ever took seriously,
The first one that I've loved,
The first one to make me actually care.
The first one that made me cry about someone that really mattered to me.
The first one to ever see me as me,
The first one to accept me,
To care for me,
And to say that you loved me.
You were always the first.
Emotionally.
But, you lacked in showing me that you loved me.
You explained why.
You said that those times you couldn't talk to me, is because you cherished me.
You were in awe, that's why you were so silent.
You were in doubt that I loved you. Because in your head you kept on wondering how could such a beautiful girl with a wonderful soul could ever be with someone like you, a boy so fragile.
Well, my answer to that is simple.
It's because I love you.
Not because of your looks and what not.
But because I love you. As you. As a whole.
I loved you in a sense that I felt this warmth and content by just being near you.
I loved you by the way you were very cautious. In a good way.
I love you simply because it was you.
But, it's too late to say those things.
Because times change and feelings grow old and rot just like us mere mortals. But that's not true. Somehow, those feelings survive and will continue to survive. Still, it's too late. You've given me a reason to let go. You wanted me to. You were not aware that you wanted me to let go.
But how could I?
I love you..
No. I don't LOVE you..
I LOVED you...
I still have feelings for you, yes.
That will never change.
But I LOVED you.
You were in the past.
Yes, you were my first.
But you aren't my last...
Inspired by the preserved both happy and sad memories of that person who made me realise a lot of things.