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My ***** felt a feather heavier than iron
As I’d opted for anything other than rollover
Whilst puking up that, “nicer,” guy.

The drink’s a ghost. The scold’s a mixer,
Soured on the rocks, Shaken, not stirred,
Stirred, not shaken,
And without a sliver of, “he,” who’d opt
Accommodate or acquiesce.

Call it, “transcendence,” I guess?
Born a realization that this world’s,
“DOG-EAT-DOG,” or,
“GOD-EAT-GOD,” or,
“GOD-TEA-DOG,”
And should I not comprehend
This very simple reality,
I’d be a doormat unto my own grave.

So I fail, I’m frail, and all for one tail
Prior the act that’d ever invoke,
“Leave;” even atop the eve of beggary.

Resolute? I’d opt for the longer life, perhaps,
Not that I’d wanted to live to long anyway,
But I’d made a choice,
I’d arbitrated one cardinal direction – elliptical.

I’d acted, placated, satiated, intimidated,
Decimated, defecated, wiggled my right pinky
And culminated a prayer atop altars, “godless,”
To never knock upon that door again.

And so, but one question remains,
“Did I?”
*Wrote this on a whim at "Peabody's" in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. She bet I couldn't, I bet I could.*
""

and so we see all these poems

1/2 of them from someone who had found their

LOVER - FOREVER

and is giddy with pride and expectation

///

And

1/2 from someone who had once found their

LOVER - FOREVER

but that person has escaped

In an act labeled

BETRAYAL

leaving the author

BROKEN

///

now

The funny part is how

Those with their

LOVERS -FOREVER

pretend not to know ( or care ) that soon their

LOVER - FOREVER

shall be inevitably gone

( as shown by all the BETRAYAL poems )

//

and also funny ( maybe --   Weird -- would

Be a better word )

is how the BETRAYED

in looking at the

LOVER - FOREVER  poems

Pretend that they cannot see

Just how phoney their FOREVER - LOVE must  have been

In the first place

And thusly how phoney must the  love be

Being so piously portrayed !!

///

I think the phenomenon is called

CO - DEPENDENCY

where by we support someone else's

Madness

as a way of hiding our own

••

••

LOVE !!!!!

Is someone really so stupid as to believe

Anyone here is writing of LOVE !!!!!!

<?>

I find this

ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE

to believe !!!

//

love and razor blades !!!

( yep )

Love and razor blades !!!

death and pain !!!!

HOW UNHOLY ARE WE HERE ?

( pretty ******* unholy )
I remember the restaurant,
The one Grandpa
Had brought us to –
Window panes in patriotism
And pancakes atop, “America,”
The world revolved,
“America,”
And how we’d made it
“Home” –
So came the syrup, destiny
And fervor caked powder plate.

He knew of my toil, ills, and tolls
Pandered atop horizons
Hindered Mao and red
As we sat near dawn over coffee
And something south of
Conspiracy – opposite my dream
And collusion to **** said
Destiny,
But it was still, “his
America,” not mine and he’d
Sleep when I wouldn’t.

So it pained me, resonant a twitch
Within this small inch of
Remnant family, to tell him,
“We’re going back,
We’re leaving tomorrow,”
And, “I don’t know when I’ll be
Home,” gramps,
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be home,”
And he’d say prior ever’d silent –
“Good luck sleeping on that one,
Son,” I just know he would.
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