Hi, I’m a loud 19 year old self conscious mess who eats a little too much when I’m sad
When I tell you I don’t feel good I mean the storm clouds have rolled in and taken place up in my mind and the tides are washing up over the shore that is my eyes.

When I say don’t get to close it means that I’m too scared to tell you everything I’ve been through right now,
some of the darkness that lives inside of my heart is yet to be explored and tonight that expedition won’t go well.
I’m not sure you want to see all the shades of blue that I've become,
not sure if you’ll look at me the same when you hear the stories I have to tell
so please don’t get too close.

I get embarrassed when people talk too loud in public
don’t ask me why i can’t tell you
I’m a girl who sometimes would rather stay in the confinement of my own self doubt than take one step outside because the anxiety that washes over me when I make eye contact with a stranger makes me want to melt to the ground and sink back into the earth.

I like green tea
I like boys with long hair and  girls with soft smiles,
If I seem a little shy don’t worry that just the voice inside my head telling me how stupid I sound when I laugh

My name is baby in french and that’s pretty funny cause I have a tendency to feel too much
in fact when I cry my dad loves to point out that I’m not in acting class anymore. Well dad that’s a fun fact but I still feel like my heart is exploding so I’m gonna go disappear now.

I’m a 19 year old girl who has seen more panic attacks than flowers and feels more self doubt with my back to a stranger than looking  in the mirror
and Yes I probably feel too much but that's hardly a issue right now.

what did i do
to make you stop loving me
i feel unlovable
i would do anything
change anything
become anything
to be with you
and maybe that's the problem

In every breath
   in every beat

       she was a poem

in every thought
   in every dream

       she was a poem

Time stood still
    and eternity held its breath

       and

         she was a poem

and there beneath her breast
      beneath her ribs

was her heart
    and in her heart
      
           she was a poem

the one poem
     the universe had
            that was
                  more beautiful than love....