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no more

I wear around my neck, the memory of two.
One is gone forever and the other one is you.
Six years - a roller coaster - of emotions.
A love as deep as the untamed oceans.
But the depth, I found, was not deep
It must have been a dream in my sleep

I wish this was a nightmare so I could wake
Into a life where I never made mistakes
So that you could love me, the way I love you.
Without the pain I put you through

this overwhelming feeling that I can’t seem to escape
i want to tell you I love you but it’s already too late.
i can’t cover up the pain, these tiny little scars
why can’t I be with you up in the stars?

to keep myself focused on the “real world”

I count the minutes to keep the tears from falling

I count the seconds to keep the knife away

I look up at the stars and I wish I was religious.

I wish I had some sort of idea about what happened when you left me. I wish I could say that you’re around or up in heaven. I wish I could say that I feel you or see you in my dreams.

I wish I could but I can’t.

I don’t have the luxury of seeing you in my dreams or hearing your voice. I don’t have the luxury of religion to stop the inevitable eternal darkness wash over me like a wave.

There is no existence I’ve encountered after death to make be believe that you’re here. I don’t have room for foolish faith - Always keep your expectations at their lowest and you will never be disappointed with what’s to come.

Carry my body
To its resting place.
The gun to my head
Was my only escape.
The drugs didn't work
Nor if I drank.
The more I indulged
The more my heart sank.
Carry my soul
To it's resting place.
Killing this body
Was my only escape.

heavy and hollow, intolerable weight
knees crumble , inability to acclimate
'where am i going? does this every stop?'
my tears embody the falling raindrops

heavy and hollow, the gravity draws me to the darkness
the inescapable, eternal void of sadness
A world without you, I'm not ready for
All the "somedays" we had; nevermore

Can't help this feeling of abandonment
My heart is gone, it's empty and vacant