The sound of the heater on a cold winter night
The heat that radiates off of your body
On to mine
On to my cheek
As I lay my head against your chest
As you breath heavily through the night
This is what my nights sound like
This is what love sounds like
When I lay awake at night
When I here the sounds of you
Before the silence takesover
Before the thoughts takeover

Foggy brain
Sleepless brain
Brain full of thoughts

Let me rest
Let me tame
My own heart

I cannot breath
I cannot see
What's coming for me

Every night
Every time
Afraid of myself

Creating fear
Creating dread
Over something that doesn't exist

I know I'm out of order
I know it doesn't make sense
But nothing matters

when I feel this awake

I sat there in my overalls
In a lavished living room
With the lights off
I was doing too much
I had to give them a break
I’m always doing something I should’nt be
I wish I knew more
You walked in
I think you asked me why I was alone
Or maybe you said I shouldn’t be alone
All I know is you put your hand on my leg
Up my overalls
Told me I should be wearing underwear
Can’t remember much after that
I don’t think you went any farther
But who knows
I must’ve been maybe 5 or so
And everything before middle school is pretty foggy
It made me wish I would of stayed quiet
when they told me to
I would’nt of been alone
But then again who expects a kid to be quiet
Especially at a holiday party


Oh well