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In every room
I've lived in,
all the dilapidated shacks
over the years that I've
stayed in, always had a
brown spider that crawled
the walls.
It had a little suitcase.

I thought to myself that it
planned on leaving, moving to
someplace better.
It never did.
It always just set up shop, and
spun a web in the corner and caught
flies, and occasionally a small moth.

On drunken sad moon nights,
I sang dirges to the trapped bugs.
They smiled and laughed, even though
they were dying.
Here is a link to a brand-new poetry reading I did.  It's available on my you tube channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz70MOS_JX8    I have three books available on Amazon:  Sleep Always Calls, Seedy Town Blues Collected Poems, and It's Just a Hop, Skip, and a Jump to the Madhouse.
I’ve started sharing my poetry,
and I think I’ve concerned a few—
friends, family—
they didn’t see the blue, blue, blue
sadness
that sits quietly in my lingering,
spilling out in these poems.

It was never my goal,
but the sadness likes to speak,
wants to say what is true:
that the sadness still exists,
a deep, deep
blue, blue, blue.
It was always the words I said.
It was never the way I said them—

never the way I screamed,
never the way I whispered,
never the way I spoke with eloquence,
sweetness, kindness, or grace.

It was never the way I spoke with wisdom,
or the way I spoke with knowledge.
Never the way I spoke as a woman,
or the way I spoke as a friend.

It was never the way I spoke
with tears in my eyes,
or with a clenched fist.

It was always the words I said—
the words you didn’t want to hear,
the words you refused to hear,
the words you refused to listen to.

Words that would have made you care,
that would have forced you to act,
that would have demanded you
to sacrifice something.

It was never how I said them
that turned you away from me.

It was always the words themselves—
that you refused to believe.
Oh ye little child

Oh ye little child
What doth thy smile hide
Melting the mistakes thou made
Anger of thy parents fade

Oh ye little child
Thy smile world wide
Tis world with love made
Sadness of hearts fade

Oh ye little child
Thy smile by God's side
In thy innocence heaven made
Worldly divide doth fade

Oh ye little child
Ever a smile in thy side
In love thy world made
Worldly troubles to fade

Pavin
#ChildrensDay
Life a coins toss
In seconds lifes loss
Oh what doth it cause
Life brought to a pause
Answers where to seek
For lo we humans meek
In seconds heart beats end
A message Tis life doth send

Pavin
Sometimes when we are at a wrong time at a wrong place
She wants to stick to my lungs
Like cigarette smoke
Fingers like tar gripping as I choke.

But I can’t get enough now
Need another drag, just another ****
Want to feel hands upon my skin
Need the pressure on my throat.

I’m addicted to the violent ways
We love each other
Like warring spiders on the same web,
Wrapping up in silk,
Tie my hands back, spit on my face,
Slap me with your leather
Tease me with the lace,
We can dance forever,
Put each other in our place.

She wants to corrupt my heart,
Like dye in a pool,
Color’s gone black,
Yet I’m still swimming like a fool.

I can’t stop drinking her like oxygen,
Knowing the carbon inside will only freeze me in.
I’m dying to know if it was true,
In the many ways that I loved you
Why were your shoulders like ice when I needed truth?

She wants to stick to my lungs
Like cigarette smoke
Fingers like tar, gripping as I choke.

Looking into mirrors,
Seeing the decay,
She’s a demon on my shoulder
Always gets her way
I’m reflecting on nothing,
Needing to get away,
But I’m feening you like ****
And loving me back is just a hit away.
A retrospective of a very toxic relationship I was in.
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