With all the intensity of a hot blazing fire,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
  you captured my heart, stoked my desire                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
   Just when I though it wouldn't consume me,                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
  you added more flame & burned right through me                                          
                                                                ­                                              
Forever your face is in my mind's eye,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
you meant more to me than I realized                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
      I still hear your voice in my dreams at night,                                                    
                                                                ­                                            
I can almost feel you holding me tight                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
I can still taste your skin like it was yesterday,                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
the beauty of you in my dreams on replay

You've taken me down a dark road,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
one that only the devil knows,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                          
deceiving me and lying all the way, 
                                                                                                                ­         
I followed you, blinded by love                                                                  ­               
something you know nothing
of.                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                           
I found out too little too
late                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
At first you were so sweet,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­  
swept me right off my feet                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                          
Looking back, that was your plan                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                               
How quickly you have
turned,                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­   
burning me with words that hurt                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
Blaming me for all you
can                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
Once you had taken from me,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
any amount of self-esteem                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
You had tethered me to you                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
Telling me to never trust,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
to only believe in your love                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I loved you & you loved you too

Sometimes I want to run into the sea,                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
let the cold-water wash all over
me                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
as the waves pull me into its
midst                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
as the sand buries my feet in its
drifts                                                           ­                                             
                                                                ­                                                        
I'd open my lungs & **** the water
down                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
saltwater filling me up until I
drown                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
  I'll fall into a blackened deep
  sleep                                                         ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
it will wash away the secrets I
keep                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
at the same time, it swallows me
whole                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I allow it to cleanse the darkness of my
soul                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                     
  Cover me up with the grains of
  sand                                                          ­  
                                                              ­                                              
  making me a part of the sea & land

Juggling all the *****,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                              
putting out the fires,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
you sit through it all                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
and I am getting tired                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
never too little too late,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­                 
I have been waiting,                                                         ­                                 
                                                                ­                                              
while you try to debate,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm left here hating                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  I've given you the time                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
  and you've been taking it,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
  to make up your mind,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
  of whether I 'm worth it                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­                
   I have news for you,                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
  your love doesn't define me,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
  so do what you need to                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                              
while you stand behind me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  I've already done it all,                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  as you sat thinking                                                         ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                          
  I won't take the fall                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
   for your slow rising                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
  I did it all without you,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                              
What are you good for?                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
  Do what you have to,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I won't be here anymore                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
                                                                ­                                            
  Raised our kids all alone.                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
  kept the house up everyday                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  worked my fingers to the bones,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                              
  while you went out & played                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                            
  Tucked the kids into bed at night,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                              
   raised them with love & pride                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
  What you did isn't right,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
  you never stood by my side                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
When you were out drinking,                                                        ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I was at home all alone                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                            
  What the hell was I thinking                                                         ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­                                        
  while I was sitting on the phone                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
  Cheating on me, watching me cry                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  as beat myself up all the time,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
   And yet, still a fool, I tried,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
   it is true, love is blind

I could choose to tell you what I still remember                                                         ­                                                   but my wounds aren't healed, and my heart is tender                                                           ­                                                         Just because it's unspoken doesn't mean it's gone                                                             ­                                                              I relive each day as if it were the only one                                                         There's no tears you'd notice, my eyes are dry                                                It doesn't mean I'm better, It's just that I try                                                      I don't want your looks of pity but don't ignore me,                               don't leave me alone with my thoughts too frequently                                 If you can stand by my side and hold my hand                                           take my late night calls, you'd understand,                                                      ­               I haven't changed at all ,I'm still me                                                 but for now ,I'd rather not speak                                                            ­         Knowing that you're here and will always be                                         means you understood me perfectly                                                        ­          I choose not to share, it's all still too real                                                   So, if it's okay, I still need time to heal                                                             ­         It might not be tomorrow, surely not today                                                        I only know   how to do this, my way

Your fire will burn us alive,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I will be happy not to survive                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                          
I want to feel the heat of your
flame,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
let it burn me again & again                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­               
I want to spend all my days,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                          
consumed by your white-hot blaze                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
I crave all of your intensity                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
  I want to burn for eternity

Those walls that you put up to protect you from everyone.                                                        ­                                             
                                                                ­                                                  
can isolate you from those who mean you no harm                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                           
I see you seeking safety and holding your breath                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
 but hiding from your life is like hiding from death                                        
                   ­                                                                 ­                            
  Sooner or later, something falls between the cracks                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
You only get one life, and you don't get yours back                                              
                                                                ­                                            
Everyone makes mistakes & you learn from them all,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
  so, knock down your barriers with a wrecking ball                                        
                                                                ­                                                
With tears comes growth & lessons learned                                                
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
Don't think that everyone   doesn't take their turn                                
                            ­                                                                 ­                           
I think it's true, that you reap what you sow,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                
plant a seed of trust and watch it grow                                                    
                                                                ­                                        
Embrace your life & proceed carefully,                                                       ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
no life is perfect & neither are we

If you sewed my mouth up,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
my eyes would still speak                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
If you tore my tongue out,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­            
I could still clench my teeth                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                     
If I slit open my wrists,                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                
words would bleed out of me                                                               ­                                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
You can't stop me from feeling                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
If I close my eyes tight,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
my tears would tell the tale                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
Put me in a room with no light,                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
  my aura pulsates & swells                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
  if you cut my hands off,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
  I'd learn to write with my feet                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
   I'm someone who feels too much                                                    
                                                                ­                                                                 ­           
  and you can't stop me

I thought it was just me against you                                                              ­I  found out that that wasn't true                                                             ­ I  heard you've been gathering up the troops                                 that's  what a guilty party would do                                                               ­I  think I'll stand on my own, Thank You                                                           I  don't  have anything  to  prove                                              ­                You  must feel threatened by me                                                               ­   I  shake your sense of false security                                                         ­   You  have to talk **** to everybody                                                          while  I stand back cool and calmly                                                           ­     You  think that you have me scared                                                           ­  but  to do that I would have to care                                                       You  think you have shown me how strong you can be                                                               ­                                                but  instead you've shown me you're cowardly

I am tired of trying to read your mind,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can't keep up, I am always behind,                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
never thought I could love your kind,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   I 'm over chasing what will never be mine                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                         
Serial cheater, womanizer, that's you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
only to your heart you can be true,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                
Selfish *****, what can I do to please you?                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                       
Heartbreaker, I both love & hate you,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
even after all you've put me through,                                                
                                                                ­                                    
sometimes, I don't even know who                                                      
                                                                ­                                                   
   you are anymore & don't want to

I open up my window & shades                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
and let the fresh air rush in                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
Feel the sun's warmth on my face,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
get ready for the day to begin                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Smell the fresh cut grass                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
see it's covered in dew                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­             
  a lemon lime zest draft,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                     
  I drink in the view                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
The birds are outside singing,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
the tree's rustling in the breeze                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
All the while I'm saying                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                               
Thank you, God, it's heavenly

In my efforts to escape your issues,                                                          I'm  left tarnished with the residue                                                          ­                 I gathered up any grace I could salvage                                                       before my heart became more ravaged                                                          ­ I  would rather be humbled than crumbled                                                         ­                                            from  all of the weight of your struggles

A handful of wildflowers                                                      ­                picked for you by me                                                               ­                   in  the colors of rainbows                                                         ­                showcasing natures beauty                                                           ­   with   scents so fragrant                                                         ­                enhanced by the sunlight                                                         ­                  it  fills the air with magic                                                            ­                       and fills me with pure delight

Mold me, mend me, help me swallow my pride,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                      smooth out my edges, cleanse me inside                                                     Polish me shiny make me look brand new                                                    Help me to see a better point of view                                                             ­     Sew up the torn spots with strong string                                                             Help me to listen before speaking                                                         ­               Heal all the blackness that lives inside                                                           ­     Fill me with love until the emptiness dies                                                 Shine down with a light I can't ignore                                                           Tell me how to think after and before                                                           ­ Make me a person you will be proud of                                                            one that can cry or can be tough                                                            ­  I am only human, I need your touch                                                            ­               Thank you God, Thank you so much

I have to laugh when you rush up to my walls,                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                   thundering mad, trying to make them fall                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
   I think there's something you need to
know,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
they will never come down, they will never
go                                                  
                                                                ­                                                
You've broken my heart so many times
before                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
  that you will never get that close
  anymore                                                    
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
It doesn't make me happy or
proud                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
to have to say those words out
loud                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
but you've given me no reason to
trust                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
   and without that, there will be no
us                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
  I've given you chances that you mess
up                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  and I have taken more than
enough                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                   
  So, that's your cue to turn & walk
away                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
  I'm no longer a partner in the games you play

You are so beautiful,                                                       ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
let me take you in                                                               ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
Just lay there, be still,                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to taste your
  skin                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
my heart's beating like a
drum,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                      
are you listening?                                                       ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
I am about to come
undone,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
inside, I'm
shivering                                                       ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                
Your hair smells of
flowers                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
  that were sitting out in the
sun                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­  
 more fragrant by the
  hour,                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
like citrus and
cardamom                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
Your lips are like rare
wine,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to drink you
in                                                              ­                                                                 ­        
 let me take all my time                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                       
   to light a fire within                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                    
Lit up by
candlelight,                                                     ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
your face is all
aglow                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to take all night,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­
show you love you've never
known                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart can't get
enough                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
and my mind is taking me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
to all the ways I can love                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                
your mind, soul and body                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
You are so
beautiful,                                                       ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                      
you really have no
idea                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­      
you've made my life meaningful,                                                      ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
  just by being here

The torn wings of a butterfly,                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
never lets them truly
fly,                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                                
The wind never feels the same
                                                            ­                                                            
  but a different beauty still
  remains                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
Lackluster and so fragile,                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                         
   perhaps a little less
agile                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can still see their former
  light,                                                  ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
  a beautiful butterfly in flight

I've tried but I can't get enough of you,                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                     
no matter how I try, it will not do                                                        
                                                                ­                                                       
   When I see you smile, I can't contain mine                                                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I want to play it cool, but I lose my mind,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
Whenever we touch, I just want to feel.                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                    
something beautiful, something real                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
My heart beats wildly when you're near,                            
                                                                ­                                          
whenever you whisper, "I want to be here"                                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  Wrap me in your arms, I'll melt into you.                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                         
Put your hand in mine, I love you                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                            
  Hold my face in your hands, when we kiss,                                                
                                                                ­                                                      
I won't close my eyes; I won't want to miss,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
any kind of look or sign that says to me                                                               ­                                                         
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
I love you as much as you love me

I have been medicated                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                              
because life is overrated,                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
it's better when I'm sedated                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
If I wasn't I wouldn't make it                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
This is my brain on drugs                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­           
I only nod yes, or shrug                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
Let the world handle the pain,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I like it here with the insane                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                               
 ­ Behind my fortress walls,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can hide away from it all                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
  Let the world self-destruct                                                    ­                                
                                                                ­                                                
  from here it doesn't matter much

This is my heart on pen & paper                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
you always tell me, you'll read it later                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                 Meanwhile my life is passing by,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
filled with excuses & alibis                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
  I wish you would just plug-
   in,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am tired of always begging                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
  Taking scraps that you throw me,                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                      
acting satisfied was killing me                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I had to put my heart on ice                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                 
 and stop being so **** nice                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
All so I could act, just like you,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                   
 let you know what you put me through                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
You remained selfishly absorbed,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                           making it easier for you to ignore                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                             
anything that was going on with me,                                                              ­                                        
                                                                ­                                          
it allowed you to continue to be                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
the same person I couldn't see                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
while I loved you foolishly                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
I am glad that I stepped back,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
­it helped me to see all you lacked                                                           ­                                                             
You weren't about me, now or then                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
but now my eyes are opening                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  While my heart was in deep freeze,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
I thought less about you, more about me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
 I guess it's about time that I see,                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
that this the way It has to be                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I am all I'll I ever need                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
and I actually feel free

Where did everybody go?                                                              ­                
I used to have good
friends                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
now they are all no
shows                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
  Is it because I'm at life's
end?                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I can remember
when,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­                 
I was a social
butterfly                                                        ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
but I guess that was then                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                               
because I'm barely still
alive                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                
Here I am all by
myself,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                      
in a lonely hospital
room,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
can everybody else smell,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
the sterility mixed with
doom?                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                          
Nothing to hear but the TV                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and the beeps of machinery                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
As the nurses check on me
carefully,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I fall in & out of sleep                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
My children come to see                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                              
me in my new
room,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I hope they can erase,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­  
visions of needles & tubes                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
  I shoo them all away,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                             
when the doctors
come,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
don't want to ruin their
day,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                          
because I'm not coming
home                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I try to put on a brave face,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
smile &tell them, I'll be
fine                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
but that's not the
case                                                             ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
and it's always on my mind

Those nostalgic Saturdays                                                        ­                         and now lonesome Sunday nights                                                           ­    Thoughts of our yesterdays                                                       ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­    the fire that it still ignites                                                          ­                          I have too much time on my hands                                                            ­    that I spend on missing you                                                              ­         Things no one would understand                                                       ­        nobody but me and you                                                              ­                    I wonder where you are tonight                                                          ­               if you're missing me too                                                              ­                      So, I am wishing on this star so bright                                                           ­                 that you are thinking of me too

Wading into the sea of vulnerability,                                                   ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­     
    bobbing constantly so it won't swallow me,                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                                
as the tide rolls in, it tries to consume
me                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
   I know where I am & where I want to
   be,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
  so, I hold on strong & breathe
slightly                                                        ­                                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I might be wrong, my insight evades
me                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                               
Until I see the shore & the sun
rising                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I will be unsure until God enlightens
  me                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
if it is really safe for me, in the sea of vulnerability?                                                   ­                          ,

When my heart was broken,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
    there was a boy who cared                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
   no words were louder spoken,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
   than the flowers he shared                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  As I cried in my misery,                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
he waited in the wings                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                              
  Hoping one day he would be,                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
my all, my everything                                                       ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                  
He focused his attention,                                                       ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­       
 and each & everyday,                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
he showed his affection,                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                
with a floral bouquet                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
But so pained was I                                                                ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
and blinded by hot tears,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                             
I closed my swollen eyes,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
and he then disappeared                                                      ­                                
                                                                ­                                             
 Lately he's been coming back to me,                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                  
sometimes in my dreams,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                             
I can remember him vividly                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                
even though it's longer than it seems                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
He loved me then, now I see                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 The boy with the flowers waiting,                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
for me to love him, patiently                                                        ­      
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                             
                                   ­                                  ,.

This page is saturated,                                                       ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
with anger & self-hatred                                                      ­                
There's fury churning in
me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Under close
inspection,                                                      ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
    I hate my own
reflection                                                       ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
spare me your
pity                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
A senseless waste of life,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                          
pressured & under strife                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                             
Danger lurks just beneath,                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
a knife without a sheath                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
         I lash out or I'll
    implode,                                                    ­                            
                                                                ­                                                    
sensory overload                                                         ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                      
Cutthroat with bad intentions,                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­     
you know, so stop pretending                                                       ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
No one can ever help me,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't stand my own misery

She comes at him, hot flushed face                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
  She's throwing things all over the place                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
Her eyes are wide & mostly black,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                      
 facing her enemy, about to attack                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                     
 She pushes away a strand of hair,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                
making   a scene & does not care                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
Just found out, he's cheating again                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
and making sure he knows he's sinned                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                
She's screaming, bringing the house down,                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                              
along with anything else that's around                                              
                                                                ­                                              
While she's cursing up a blue streak,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
a thrown book makes him shriek                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
Even after what he's done to her,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
he's wondering what just occurred,                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                  
he's sure she will come back easily,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
just like before, so greedily                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
He can't let go; he can't hold on                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
but for her, that loves long gone

I bought an antique onyx ring                                                             ­            and something about it was beguiling                                                         from every inch of the etching                                                          ­       inlaid in its tarnished filigree                                                         ­                      It beckoned and kind of lured me                                                           holding me captive with its beauty                                                          As  soon as I held it in my hand                                                             ­        my  mind slowed down like falling sand                                                   surrounding  me  in  a dream like state                                                           I  saw the  previous owner, I saw her face                                               Within those few seconds for me                                            a  woman's  voice said, this was meant to be                                            That  I didn't pick it accidently                                                       ­              but  had always been a part of me                                                              I  looked inside and saw so clearly                                                          ­  my  initials engraved so mysteriously

I am a big fan of strange                                                          ­                  I don't  want people to ever change                                                           ­      I  love  it when they are weird                                                            ­       they  won't tell you  what you want to hear                                                 Quirky is beautiful to me                                                               ­       it  tells  me that they are free                                                             ­     Loners  attract me                                                               ­                             like flowers and honeybees                                                        ­   Their  emotions are intriguing                                                       ­             I wonder what they are thinking                                                         ­              Their  poems speak of individuality ,fate                                             of destiny and hate                                                             ­                          Like  two peas in the pod,                                                                        they  are  just like me , a little odd

I'm the one out there for everyone else,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
who is there when I need someone myself?                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll go to battle for those that I love,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                          
  if you bring the push, I'll bring the shove                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                                
  I am the strongman, the rock, the tough                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
  but the world on my shoulders is rough                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                      
  Sometimes I need someone to take the wheel                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­     
  Let me catch my breath, I need time to heal                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am the one to rise up to every cause                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
   but it would be nice to take a pause                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
   It's hard for me to ask for the help                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                       
   that you would offer to anyone else                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
  You want to watch me to struggle,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
  trapped inside your controlling bubble                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                 
  while you stand back judging me,                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                
  your hand on your hip so haughtily                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
  but you have still failed to see                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
  you have underestimated me

Our love has spanned a lifetime,                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
even apart you're still on my mind                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                               
Wherever you are I find myself,                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
never wanted to be anywhere else                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Reach for me, I'll be right there                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
I'll always be there, will always care                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I close my eyes; it's you I see                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                
wherever you are it's always with me

Today I woke up so depressed,                                                       ­                   so I took the day to rest                                                             ­                            I think it's time I hit reset                                                            ­                    change my whole mind set                                                              ­                   The sun came up anyway                                                           ­                            So I made some plans for the day                                                                         I needed to get up and get away                                                             ­keeping my demons at bay                                                              ­                        I decided to go for a walk                                                             ­                        It's time God and I had a talk                                                             ­            and just getting outside                                                          ­                      left me feeling alive inside                                                          Dear God,  thank you so much                                                             You  make me feel good enough                                                           ­                As  I stand in the sunlight                                                         ­                             I feel like I'm in your spotlight                                                        ­               You hear me every time I cry                                                              ­          you dry my tears now I know why                                                              ­      You  are the only person who                                                              ­           can make me feel  this brand new

I'm missing you & you are right here,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­        I'm not feeling that you still care                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                        
  Sometimes I reach for you at night                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                      
wishing you would hold me tight                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
and the few times, we do kiss,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
  I want more than a peck on the
lips                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
We have drifted so far apart,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
we no longer know each other's hearts                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                               
Every disagreement becomes full blown,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                    
it's been so long since love's been shown                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                              
Never on the right page at the same time,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I wonder if I ever cross your mind                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
No just because phone calls during the day,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you don't hear a thing I say anyway                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I haven't gotten flowers in so many years,                                            
              ­                                                                 ­                                         
I don't know why I'm even still here                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
The kids are grown, they filled my day,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                
now it's me & you & we're not okay                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I feel like I give more than I recieve,                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and you're ******* the life out of me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I hold on because I want us to work,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                          
while you pull away & it really hurts                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                        
  I want things the way they used to
be                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
when I loved you & you loved
me                                                               ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
but deep down, I know the cold dark truth,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                
those days are over & so are me & you

I wish the rain would pour down                                                             ­    and  flood this garden I'm forever tending                                                 Submerge  and deluge the ground                                                           release me from this chore, never ending                                        I've  been  relentless and loyal                                                            ­   shining  my  light until it went dim                                                            Had my hands ***** with this soil                                                         despite  repeated handwashing                                                      ­    I  have  yet to see us flourishing                                                      ­         we  can't grow in this sour ground                                                             No  matter how much nourishing                                                     our  love's leaves are dried and brown

This is the ripple effect of your actions                                                  after  putting on a show like a circus attraction                                                       ­                                      starting  with in- fighting that scorches then burns                                                            ­                                                making sure we all get  to take a turn                                                             ­  under the guise of lessons we need to learn                                                    then  expecting forgiveness that isn't earned                                              Acting  like  you  have all the information                                                      to  judge and steer all the conversations                                                 So  sure your manipulation isn't seen                                                             ­  making sure your hands stay clean                                                            ­ Starting  gossip  ,spreading false rumors                                                              you  are just like every other abuser                                                           ­    It  took me a while, but I can see                                                              ­ you  are living in a ****** up reality                                                When  you die alone ,and you will be                                                               ­              exactly where you deserve to be

So much pain locked within,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                
depriving me of oxygen                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
Will I sink or will I swim?                                                            ­                   
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes  I want to give
in                                                               ­                                                                                                             ­                                                   
 I've taken the time to build walls                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
as I try to contain it
all                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                        
Sometimes it comes seeping out                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
   like a scream or like a
shout                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
  I hold my breath, so no one sees                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
the battle going on in me                                                               ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
Pray to the powers higher than
me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
to help me deal properly                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
My careful facade is crumbling                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
exposing my vulnerability,                                                   ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I wish to hold my head up high                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
watch me stumble as I try

It's been a long time since you loved me,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
   even longer since you held my hand,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                                
my walls are working perfectly,                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­          
now I don't give into your demands                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
  I don't think often about you                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  or the way you made me feel,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                    
convinced myself I don't love you,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
 It was the only way I'd heal                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
Why did have to come over here,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
telling me that you still care?                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                      
Showing me, eyes filled with tears,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
you never did play fair                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                    
I'd be a fool to let it get to me                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
and be your victim once again                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                              
When it's all been done, I'd rather be,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                  
someone else than who I've been                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
 I'd like to think I learned a thing or two                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
in the time we've been apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I can't fall back in love with you,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
you­'re no good for my heart

I used to be afraid that you would leave                                                            ­                                               but  now it is a sense of relief                                                           ­                I  spent so much of my energy                                                           ­    trying  to be what you wanted me to be                                                   I  found out after you'd gone                                                             ­            you weren't  anyone I could count on                                                               ­    If  nothing else it made me strong                                                           ­ because  I always had been doing it alone                                                   I  realize that my true happiness                                                        ­         is  up to me and not anyone else                                                             ­            who  I am and who I want to be                                                               comes  from the power that's inside of me

I am a patchwork mess,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
full of stitches & scars                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
I've been doing my best                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                                        
so, I don't fall apart                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                    
  I've been loving on
   empty,                                                           ­                   
                                                                   ­                                              
there's nothing left to give                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I need positive
energy                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
just to breathe & live                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                        
The strings on my heart                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
are worn down & frail                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                          
playing their part                                                             ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                        
of why I ail                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
Is there anyone                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                      
who can re-sew me?                                                              ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
Is there anyone                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                
with a seamstress
degree?                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
I am a patchwork
mess                                                             ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                  
stuffed with regrets

So, you didn't get what you wanted,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
don't look at me so broken hearted,                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
In this great land of opportunity,                                                     ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
there is still a lot of poverty                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
Instead of focusing on yourself ,                                                                ­
                                                                ­                                                    
look around & offer someone help                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
Go to places you would never go,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                   
 open your heart & let your love flow                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
Help a stranger across the street,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
give a hungry man something to eat                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
Buy a child ice cream from Mr. Frosty,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                
hold open the door for someone elderly,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
 pay for groceries if you know it helps,                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                       
the blessing is helping someone else                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                           
Drop A dollar, make a donation,                                                      
                                                                ­                                    
  volunteering can change a
situation                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                        
Anytime that you ever feel down,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
  take the time to look around

My whole life I've been yearning                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
for someone to make me feel whole                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
and right now, I have been learning                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
      that the cure is right in my soul                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
Looking­ out to fix what's within,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
while letting the wrong people in                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­
  It is now the time that I start filling                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
  my heart with the empty hole                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                               
  Putting trust into so called friends,                                                         ­     
                                                                ­                                                
  who abused that trust in the end                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
  I am the one who let them in,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
  I will not be that person again                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
I need to start loving me                                                               ­                         
                                                                ­                                                
with all the passion that I need                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
The love I gave away so easily                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
to those who don't deserve me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
I can set myself
free,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­            
 by turning that love on me

If I reach down deep inside,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­           
I can feel the mud in me                                                               ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                  
It's something I can't hide,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
it's what I live & breathe                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                 
Like black tar bubbling,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
on a sunny August
day.                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­           
   causing pain so
troubling,                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm trying to pray it
away                                                             ­                                 
                                                                 ­                                                     
It threatens to show itself                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                              
surface & then expose                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
who I am to myself                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                   
  and to everyone I
know                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                    
  Unattractive & ugly,                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                
it's going to win in the
end                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­      
 It promises my
suffering,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­        
eating me from within                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I try to ignore it's gnawing,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
the scratching sounds it
makes                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I can feel it slowly crawling                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
filling up any empty space                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
I know it wants me
weary,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
so, it can take full control                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
I can feel that it
clearly                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
has begun to take hold                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                          
Fogging up a once clear brain,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
    it is trying to drive me insane                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                
This depression, knows my name,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                    
it's aware that not much strength remains

Sometimes the beauty in the world makes me want to cry                                                                                                                   I  wear  my  heart  on  my sleeve, and I don't know why                                                              ­                                     There  are  times I have cried singing children's lullabies                                                        ­                                             I  have  to  get tougher,  I know, I  wish I could, I  try                                                           ­                                                My  heart breaks  for  everyone  else  but  not  for me                                                               ­                                                             I  put  the  brakes  on  any  lame  self-pitying parties                                                          ­                                                     But  my love could open and part the seas                                                             ­                                                    It  clears a wide path that has set others free

With a head full of anger, a heart filled with rage,                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                            
she ran away from home at an early age,                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                         
she headed to Hollywood to take the center stage,                                      
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
a predictable ending before the last page                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
She spent all her money on a ticket there,                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
she didn't make plans, she didn't care                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
Just the kind of person ripe for abuse,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                                 ­ vulnerable, scared & very confused                                                         ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
He bought her dinner, she sold her soul,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
she dressed the part & played the role                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Now she walks the track, every night of the week,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                  
does as she's told, listens when he speaks                                                
                                                                ­                                                 
 She longs for the life she used to have,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
misses her mom, misses her dad                                                              ­                                                                
The drugs he gives her, numbs the pain                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
from when he beats her, calls her names                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
The stories she could tell you, things she's seen                                          
                  ­                                                                 ­                           
make her look much older than seventeen

How do you plug up the ocean                                                            ­         once the flood gates are opened                                                           ­            How do you reverse the hands of time                                                         once you've already crossed the  line                                             Accomplished liar, mendacious mind                                                  Devil and demon both combined                                                         Somehow it finally caught up                                                                  or  maybe  I've finally had enough                                          Angry outbursts in attempts to control me                                            instead of talking and trying to hold me                                                      You  did this and you **** well know it                                                 That bridge is burned and that's the matches you're holdin'                         You couldn't get out of your own way                                                     That's  cause and effect that you're learning today

It's five in the morning & I haven't slept,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
Your pillow is moist from the tears that I
wept                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
The bed is indented from where you once
laid,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
let me in on this game that you play                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                          
I guess I was a fool now looking at the facts,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­             
never thought you'd leave, or I'd want you
back                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­           
  I always told you to go if you didn't like it
here,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
I didn't mean it to be so loud &
clear                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
We threw words like knives, hoping to wound,                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Why couldn't we had worked it out more soon                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
You never want what you have until it's gone,                                            
                                                                ­                                                
  I   have only ever wanted you, all along

Sandcastles by the sea,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
fairy tales & tea parties,                                                         ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                  
pink buttercream frosting,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  glitter and butterfly wings                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  Those are some of the things,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
  that her memory brings                                                           ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                        
  Party dresses and sweet sixteen,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
  slumber parties with no slumbering,                                                      ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
my little girl did all these things                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
and it hurts remembering                                                      ­                        
                                                                ­                                          
  Football games and movie dates,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
  blue flower printed pillowcase,                                                      ­    
                                                                ­                                            
  Mister, the soft brown teddy bear,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                    
  ringlets of soft blonde hair                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  My memories are all I have,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                            
leaving me broken and sad                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
She is gone, she lost the fight,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                              
cancer has taken her life                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                          
Tonight, there's a star that's shining bright,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
I wish I may, I wish I might,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
bring her home and I'll be alright,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
  my angel, my ray of light

You wanted me to lose myself in you                                                              ­      but  that was because you needed my strength too                                   Couldn't  stand on your own for too long                                                making up the rules as you dragged me along                                      Down  playing my sacrifices, my self-worth                                             making  sure  my life was hell on earth                                                            ­Then  you used that instilled insecurity                                                to  feed  your sense of grandiosity                                                      ­                 You  were an accomplished liar                                                             ­my  heart and soul under direct fire                                        but  luckily  you always treated me                                                               ­     like  I was nothing more than your Plan B                                                    To  be used and then discarded                                                        ­            your  love isn't for the fainthearted

My heart is a gray painted room                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
  the paint is chipped & peeling off                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
The only window I can view,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
is filthy & the dirt is smudged                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
The dimmed light that filters
in                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                                          
is speckled with floating dust                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
but yet I can still pretend                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
that that is good enough                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
the wallpaper under it,                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
almost hidden from view                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
pictures of daisy & violets                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
and dandelions too                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                
­ Even though it's faded,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's still able to be seen                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
 It has not dissipated                                                       ­                                     
                                                                ­                                            
there's still love in me

Self-medicating, trying not to feel                                                             ­finding life difficult and unable to deal                                                Searching for something that appeals                                                          ­disappointed  when nothing is revealed                                                      Closing my eyes, I stomach the pain                                                          resentment and anger takes over my brain                                                    Go and ask anybody ,they'll say the same                                                             ­                                                          we are all just pawns in life's twisted game                                                     We go through the motions ,a smile on our face                                                             ­                                                            pretending like life hasn't lost it taste

How can the sun keep shining so bright,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
when has darkness cast itself over my life?                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
How can the birds keep singing merrily,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
when I'm feeling lost & so **** lonely?                                                          ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
  Why can't the world stop & grieve for
    me?                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
Why does it go on rather selfishly?                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
All of the light in my life is gone,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
how can I be expected to move on?                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I miss my life, the way it was then,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                              
when I was as happy as all of them