How is it fair?
                     Every time I see you, you look exactly the same
            Same long hair, curly and brown
   Same eyes as before, so bright and blue

   And I wonder to myself
            Do you recognize me, as I do you?
                     As we pass in the hall
                                Does your breath catch, or you heart stall

                        Because unlike you, I’ve changed
                            I cut my hair, and dyed it red
                                   Changed my clothes
                                    My eyes now dead.

I see that you’re struggling inside
That you’ve been swept under the tide
But don’t you dare look down
Or you might just drown
Knowing you never tried

Well hello
It’s nice to meet
Yes, you right there
Please take a seat

Now, I’ve heard things
And I don’t like what I hear
We have a few things to go over
So let me make myself clear

I know it’s hard
Believe me, I do
But I need you to listen
To just hear me through

So why don’t we start
With the scariest part
Because I hear those questions
That lie deep in your heart

Word is you’re done
That you’re letting go
You think no one loves you
It’s not true though

You are needed and loved
More than you can see
More than you’ll ever know
Even if you don’t agree

I see that you question
How much you are worth
But I need you to know
You’re more precious than Earth

Alright dear
Let’s skip the chit-chat
You do have a future
And I need you to know that

Be kind to yourself
Be your own lover
Live life to the fullest
There’s so much left to discover

Now I know that you’re trying
And that your fears are so loud
So, if no one’s told you today
Please know that I’m proud

I understand that you feel
Like you aren’t enough
But believe me you are
Hey, don’t you huff

Wait, don’t leave
We’re almost done
But listen close
This is an important one

I’ve seen what you think
And I know what you say
But there will be someone
Who loves you till the end of days

Now keep your head up
I’m cheering you on
And go live life for you
Go be that black swan

Know I’ll always be here
If you need a friend
But darling I’ll pray
We never have to speak again

I’m scared that if I sleep too much
I won’t want to wake again.
Like my book will be finished
If for a second, I set down the pen

I’m tired, yet I don’t sleep
My eye lids like a weighted blanket
As I live life half awake
While dreaming of a casket

I’m scared of sleeping too much
Scared of losing time
Or of being awake for too long
And instead losing my mind

So, yes, I’m afraid of sleep
Of what affect it would make
Afraid I’ll lose the will to live
And lose my will to wake

But how do I differentiate  
Between too much and just enough
And how do I say I’m doing fine
Without ending in a bluff

I have so little fight left in me
And so, I’m terrified
That if I’m offered a safe place
I’ll never cease to hide

There's this certain feeling
That only some can give
Hurting instead of healing
Leaving you to question how you live

Why am I always out of place
Always wrong, no matter how hard I try
The shame bright on my face
As I choke down the need to cry

Every argument drains me
Leaving their smiles smug
How I wish they'd hear my plea
Instead of brushing my pain under the rug

Why can't the see this calm is fake
How each insult hurts more and more
Why can't the give instead of take
Isn't that what family's for?

One again the world resets
The moon leaves, replaced with light
Taking with it yesterday's regrets
As the day seizes us with renewed might
Golden radiance shines through colorful leaves
While the smells of earth engulf me
My lungs are filled with morning's crisp breeze
As nature persists carelessly
Clouds dance across the midday sky
Countless shapes, colors, and size
Seamlessly the day moves by
And once more the moon will rise
As is the path that nature takes
And no matter what, the cycle never breaks