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  Apr 28 maike
The moment someone knows me
The moment someone sees
I exist
I am present
I am back to being me

And so I go where noone knows me
To where I'm openly not seen
To not exist for a few hours
Is such a blessing
Not to be
The January Lasts

It's not about non-existence. It's about getting away from the self without reset. It's about being... Refreshed. And we all do that differently.
  Apr 26 maike
maybe people are meant
to fall in love
but not meant
to be together.

i was coming to terms with this
only to find out
we werent in love.
i was.
you never loved me
you didnt feel anything for me
you tried to,
but loving someone isnt something
you can make happen.

we always said we were meant to be, right?
perfect for each other
you said our love was pure
and real
and unbreakable.
look at it now,
its shattered.

falling in love with you
was the easiest thing
ive ever done.
falling out of love
will be the hardest.
i guess the [lovers] code has been cracked.
maike Apr 26
but then i suddenly was able to see
that i wasn’t the monster
who i imagined
myself to be
all the time i had hated myself,
while the blame would have been on somebody else
maike Apr 26
but when help finally allows me to reach out for it,
will i be important enough for myself to accept it?
feel free to suggest a title.
maike Apr 26
you were never mine,
i was never fully yours

and never will i ever be,
the reason you keep breathing
maike Apr 25
for one second i thought
that i finally figured things out

the next second i thought
that i finally could be proud
of me
for once

the second after i thought
that id be finally allowed
to hope again

but then i thought
that it snowed yesterday

i live in spain,
where snow is smt that may be special  for once
but doesn’t

seemed like it got lost somehow
in a territory where it didn’t belong

just like my thoughts that weren’t fitting to my playlist and its usual songs

three seconds
it’s 00:03 and i’m sure i won’t understand these metaphors anymore the next time i read it, but it feels like smt deep rn
maike Apr 25
i risk a look at you,
and you took my breath away

for giving me the ability to finally die darling

it’s not like life had smt meaningful
planned for me
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