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Aug 2023 · 46
Verity (8-3-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
I hid everything from my friends
They told about how our relationship ends
I lie low and lived a peaceful life
Away from everyone just to forget this bitter strife

Back to when you first met me
Everything runs smoothly
I was once the apple of your eyes
Now you’ve contaminated my life with white lies

Maybe I needed an anesthesia for this pain to numb
I hope you would think where this was coming from
I’ve had enough of everything
Am I not suitable to your liking?

I am not totally healed yet
I am not yet finished loving you
When you left me, I can’t forget
Those footprints of you

It was tormenting to watch
I throw any bullet for you to dodge
It felt like that, you see
How you walk away from me

I called your name, yet you never looked back
You did not mind coming back on your own track
You left a fragment of you deep within my heart
I was in pain, bruised and hurt

I felt it deep within my heart
When you told me, “I want you to be happier”
But you regretted seeing me happier
It breaks your heart
Aug 2023 · 44
Closure Pt. I (7-28-23)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You saw me once when we parted ways
You saw me once again as I look away
I wore my blue shirt and black jeans that time
I saw you coming towards me, one time

You asked me to forgive you, I already did
Hey, it’s an all or nothing at all, right?
All my life, I’m like a deer in the headlights
Shouting for help, running for my life, I forbid

I know you’re not the one
Everything is all too well and done
You made me believe in your empty promises
Wearing thy masks as disguises

You’ve been so unfaithful in a different corner
We were never meant to be together
But I’ve been missing your beautiful soul
It felt like falling on a bottomless pit or in a rabbit hole

Waiting patiently for someone’s wings
No attached strings
I don’t kiss and tell
But does it ring a bell?

I guess my pretty boy is no longer available
When everything is unthinkable
I hate it when my heart bleeds out of love
Is there anything else to prove?
Aug 2023 · 68
Anecito (7-28-2023)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You met me at a perfect time
But we both fed up in such a worst crime
Sadly, there is no more words to rhyme
Losing you is much better than losing myself for a lifetime

Been bruised, been scarred for life
Got pointed with a gun and knife
Thank God, I barely made it out alive
Barely kicking just to survive

I thought there seems to be no life after you
Seeing myself miserable over you
For a long time, I hated you
Forgetting everything about you

When it seems that life is just a ride or die
You can’t even look me in the eye
How come you always lie
Everything is already said and done, goodbye

Stop trying so hard for things to work out for me
For the both of us, for you and me
You said you loved me
But time never lead you back to me

Two hearts still beat on with different rhythms
Collated on the different sides of every prism
Like the fragments of my broken heart
Everything fell apart

I hope we should let it go now
Letting go of all the hurts and pains now
I poured my whole heart out for you
But you hated yourself for letting me go

You gave me only a 3-month trial
Hopeful enough we would reconcile
Time was never on our side
Hope you float on it, life is a tide

Love seems too splendid
Then, like a call you left me unattended
But I don’t mind
Time alone cannot erase the memory you left behind

Hour glasses and stopwatches are all useless
Hoping for you ‘fess up, I’m breathless
Asking myself why’d you run away?
Runaway far away from today

Maybe you changed your mind approaching me
Instead, you chased and approached other girls
Why would I bother force you to stay with me?
I know my worth is weighed in gold and pearls

But you played me like a doll
Bounced me back like a ball
Guessed me like a mind game
Whispered in your name
Aug 2023 · 32
NIGHTMARES (8-30-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
How will I ever let you go
If I still remember the things we did
How will I ever forget you
If I still remember the words you said

All the things you said are running through my head
Please leave me alone, get out of my head
All the memories we did, are all in my head
Please leave me alone, stop messing inside my head
Aug 2023 · 41
Powerful. (8-30-21)
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
I’ll try to wipe away my tears
And conquer all of my fears
No matter how many times I fall down
Stand tall and wear thy crown

Stand tall and proud
In front of the huge crowd
Chin up and smile
This nervousness will only take just for a while

I am not a toy for you to play and own
Cause I am born royalty to sit in my own throne
I am not a puppet on your strings
For you to do your ***** things

Since I am she
And she is Queen
Since she is me
And I deserve to be my own Queen

You cannot control me
I am my own Queen
I don’t need a King
Cause baby I can do anything

I have everything
I am everything
That you are not
That you are not

You cannot manipulate me
I am hidden and cannot be seen
Cause I am one in a million
One, one of a kind

Yeah, I don’t mind
Leaving you in oblivion

I can just watch you fall
Like a domino tile
It’s a wakeup call
But keep running for a mile

Cause Karma is going to chase you
Guilt is going to make you regret it
Arrogance is what makes you not worth it
Don’t wait for the day that I’m going to end you


I still stand on solid ground
And I am hell-bound
Cause a Queen like me does not need a King like you
So, it means Goodbye cause we’re through

I got my own name
I know I will never be the same
I never play games
Cause I know I can never be tamed

Oh, pick up the cross you carry
Even though it’s too heavy
But start walking again
Even though it stings and you’re in pain

One day I will rise up
And let all the crowd shut up
I didn’t need a pair of wings to fly higher
Cause I was born a fighter

I just need to raise my heads up to the sky
And let them hear my battle cry
No matter how hard we try
I still believe in You and I

You let me rise up
Just to drag me down
You stack me up
Just to let me down

How come you build me now
And destroy me once and for all
And let me fall
But I’m unbeatable, unbreakable now

Bury me alive
I will be back before you know it
Please let me be alive
I will behave like you know it

Curse me on my coffin
Say your prayers to my grave
I’m six feet below my grave
I despise you deep within

Go and run away
Hide where your guilt feelings haunt you
Escape where your conscience bothers you
Go and hide away

Sleep and let your nightmares seek you
Let them visit you
Go and vanish away
Go and stay away
May 2021 · 191
Paalam
yndnmncnll May 2021
Isang bukas na sulat para sa aking minamahal:

Hindi ka niya kayang palitan
Pero kaya niyang higitan ang pagmamahal mo
Pero kaya niyang punan ang mga pagkukulang mo
Binibigay at pinaparamdam niya sa akin ang mga bagay na gusto kong sa'yo galing
Ang ngiti mo, ang pangalan mo, ang tawa mo, ang hugis ng mukha mo di ko malimutan kailanman
Ngunit siya na ang nandiyan para sa akin
Na kailanman ay hindi na ako sa iyo ay babalik pa
Apr 2021 · 949
IKAW
yndnmncnll Apr 2021
Kulang ang mga bituin sa kalangitan
Dahil kung wala ka ay kulang rin ako
Ikaw ang nagsisilbing aking ilaw sa aking madilim na landas na tinatahak
Ikaw ang nagsisilbing katahimikan
Sa aking maingay at magulong mundo
alam kong masamang gawing mundo ang alam kong tao lang
Huwag mo naman sanang nila-Lang ang isang katulad kong nilalang
pero hindi payapa ang aking mundo kung wala ka
Ikaw at pangalan mo ay sa aking puso't isipan nakatatak
Mahal, ikaw ang aking pahinga, ang aking payapa
Sa mga panahong ako ay pagod at gustong mapag-isa
Ikaw ang aking kasiyahan sa mga araw na ako ay nalulumbay
At ikaw lamang ang aking mamahalin habangbuhay
Mar 2021 · 103
My Suicide Note
yndnmncnll Mar 2021
Prison of Hell
Try to free from the chains,
Cuffed around my neck,
Bound are my feet and hands.
Trying to free myself,
How long will I last?
This indicipherable torture,
Imprisoned by my past.
How long will this pain last?
Burn my soul,
With this addicting ache I lust,
Shackled by the ticking sand–
But how long will I truly last?
Unless you wish me well,
Bound are my feet and hands,
Carpe Diem,
Save me lest I end, by my two hand.
Mar 2021 · 121
This girl
yndnmncnll Mar 2021
This girl is rare, This girl is one of a kind
This girl only has you on her mind
This girl is still under your care
Oh, but this girl is hurt
And has no more time to flirt

This girl’s already all alone
She’s no longer in your zone
This girl has already cried enough
But this girl’s heart’s too tough

This girl no longer owns you
This girl is no longer your priority
This girl’s decision is never made easy
This girl will never listen to your lies anymore
Cause this girl can’t hold it any longer
This girl still loves you so
But you see, this girl has to let you go

This girl no longer believes in you
This girl no longer misses you
This girl no longer trusts you
This girl is no longer coming back to you
This girl already gave you the freedom you deserve
This girl has a lot to observe

From your words of wisdom to lies
She can’t see it in your eyes
But she feels it inside her
You never deserve to keep her

This girl loves you more than you ever know
She’s just too shy to let it show
But she needs to love herself first
This girl already found you
But you let her go
She chose you for a reason
But this love is already not it’s season
But she needs to find herself first
This girl misses you like crazy
But she misses herself more every day
This girl gave time to you
But she needs to spare herself some time

This girl already forgave you
And hopes to forget what has been said and done
This girl  will still treat you as her only one
But she needs to give you the freedom you deserve
I hope one day we meet again
Where this pain no longer remained
I hope you find the happiness you deserve

One day, this girl will look at you
Like I no longer have feelings for you
One day, I will find time to see you
But I’m no longer coming back to you.
Mar 2021 · 394
Breakup lyrical poetry
yndnmncnll Mar 2021
Yung di mo pa naririnig ang mga kataga
Ngunit ramdam na ng puso **** wala na talaga
Kayat huwag na nating ipilit pa
Dahil mas lalo lang tayong masasaktan
Pagkatapos mo siyang mahalin ay iniwan ka niyang luhaan

Kaya’t wag ka nang umasa pa
Na babalikan ka pa niya
Dahil kung talagang mahal ka niya
Di ka sana ngayon nag-iisa

Hindi ikaw ang may mali kundi sila
Nagmahal ka lang naman ng tapat
Pero bakit ka nila iniwang nag-iisa
Kahit ibigay mo pa lahat
Kung iiwan ka, iiwan ka talaga
Kung manloloko yan, magloloko yan
Kung sabi niyang mahal ka niya
Bakit ka niya sinasaktan ng ganyan?

Siguro may rason kung bakit tayo umabot sa ganito
Kung bakit nagwakas ang pagsasama nating dalawa
Ngayon ang puso ay nalilito
Kaya’t wag nang umasa pa
Na balang araw ay babalikan ka niya
Dahil kung talagang mahal ka niyan
Hindi ka niya iiwan nang luhaan

Hindi ikaw ang may mali kundi sila
Nagmahal ka lang naman ng tapat
Pero bakit ka nila iniwang nag-iisa
Kahit ibigay mo pa lahat
Kung iiwan ka, iiwan ka talaga
Kung manloloko yan, magloloko yan
Kung sabi niyang mahal ka niya
Bakit ka niya sinasaktan ng ganyan?


Walang magagawa kundi gustong ibalik lahat sa dati
Kaya’t inuungkat ang mga pangyayari
Ngunit ang alaala’y babalik pa
Kaso ang mga taong naging parte nito ay hindi na

Hindi ikaw ang may mali kundi sila
Nagmahal ka lang naman ng tapat
Pero bakit ka nila iniwang nag-iisa
Kahit ibigay mo pa lahat

Kung iiwan ka, iiwan ka talaga
Kung manloloko yan, magloloko yan
Kung sabi niyang mahal ka niya
Bakit ka niya sinasaktan ng ganyan?
Mar 2021 · 104
tired.
yndnmncnll Mar 2021
Loving someone who has no time for you? Wow. How incredible.
Jan 2021 · 314
Pag-Ibig
yndnmncnll Jan 2021
Isang salita, pitong letra
PAG-IBIG na mas mahirap pa sa Math Equation
PAG-IBIG na mas kumplikado pa sa Logical Reasoning
PAG-IBIG na mas mahirap sagutin kahit OO o HINDI lang ang isasagot
Ang utak kong ito na kahit ilang beses kong pigain ay hindi kayang sumagot

Na  kahit naipapakita ko na sa'yo na ikaw ay deserving
Ngunit di mo pansin ang aking naibibigay na effort and attention

Oh well, singtamis ng kendi ang salitang I LOVE YOU
Ngunit di mo feel ang aking love towards you
I have been praying that I hope you feel the same way too
Pero di ko pa alam kung kailan ito magkakatotoo
Jan 2021 · 111
Prison of Hell
yndnmncnll Jan 2021
Trying to free me from the chains that they cuffed around my neck, feet and hands
Trying to free me from the pain that I could never understand
Here I am imprisoned in the distress of my past
And burning my soul in hell
But how long will the pain last ?
Unless you wish me well.
Oct 2020 · 77
Blessing in disguise
yndnmncnll Oct 2020
One-sided love, he ain't my first love
I'm the devilish one, he's the angelic one
We're different yet the same
Every time he calls out my name.

It must be bad karma
What I did to every one,
That's why I'm all alone
But I ain't lonely,
I'm super happy
I guess this is good karma,
I bet he's my blessing in disguise
And maybe he's the angel in the skies.

I've got no horns
I ain't crowned with thorns
I've got no halo
Maybe I'll just say hello

I've got no wooden staff
I ain't worshipping a golden calf
I had no wings for me to fly
But I'm pretty sure I'm happy enough to cry

I can't part the sea
I can't reach the shore
I can't cross the ocean and walk on the water
I can't perform miracles.

I hope you would see
That I ain't like this before
I drifted like the wind after
It was then told in the oracle.
Sep 2020 · 96
feeling sick
yndnmncnll Sep 2020
Water alone cannot suffice my hunger
Food alone cannot withstand my thirst
I was drowning in fear and running for my life
I feel like lying in deathbed all my life
Sep 2020 · 92
Feeling like hell
yndnmncnll Sep 2020
He made me realize that I was living in a house filled with demons
Their bad habits are quite common
If you could compare it with anything else
I only want nothing more, nothing less
They are quite cruel
They only wanted to conquer and rule
Conquer and rule the world and own it like it's theirs
But they aren't the heirs.

I have a mother whose like Beelzebub
I have a father whose like Beelzebul
I have a sister-in-law whose like Lucifer
While my siblings were the accuser.

How I wonder, my home no longer has love in it
How can I feel it?
My heart is already numb
And my mind is super dumb.
How can I call it my home
If I feel hopeless and alone,
Where shall I locate my house?
Well, Hell is already my house.
No wonder, I have been feeling like hell
Every time you try to wish me well.
yndnmncnll Sep 2020
Take me to Wonderland
Leave me in Neverland
Hold my hand
And come with me where dreams are born
And time is never planned
So come with me where you and I are born
And our future is long planned.

We could be mad whenever we want,
Laughing together as we climb vines that seem to go on and on,
Tea parties popping up around every corner,
Where cups refill themselves, and teapots seem to burn with laughter.

We could dance with the Cheshire Cat,
Chasing the shadows and laughing until we’re breathless,
Where rules don’t matter, and everything feels a little off,
But it’s the kind of "off" that makes you feel truly alive.

We could sip tea anytime we please,
Pouring it from cups that never seem to empty,
Sipping away the hours with the White Rabbit, who’s always running late,
While the Mad Hatter’s mad plans unfold around us.

The flowers would talk, and the trees might sing,
The Queen could shout, “Off with their heads!” in her royal way,
But none of it would matter, because here in this world,
Every oddity and every strange moment just fit.

In Wonderland, we’d be free—no worries, no limits,
Living in the madness, where hearts are light and unburdened.
And even when we leave, we’ll remember,
That in Wonderland, joy is something that never stops flowing.

In Neverland, we’ll never grow old,
Where stories of Peter Pan are forever told.
We’ll fly through the skies, carefree and bright,
With Tinker Bell’s sparkles lighting up the night.

We’ll join Peter on adventures untamed,
Wendy’s courage, never to be shamed,
The Lost Boys will laugh and play all day,
As we chase the pirates, keeping fear at bay.

With the fairy dust swirling all around,
We’ll leap and soar without a sound.
No worries, no age, no reason to flee,
In Neverland, we’re wild and free.

We’ll meet Captain Hook, with his pirate crew,
And battle them all, with hearts so true.
We’ll swim in the lagoons, and sail the skies,
Where the stars never fade, and the moon never dies.

Tinker Bell’s wings will guide us through,
With her light, we’ll always know what to do.
And Wendy, with her gentle heart so kind,
Will remind us that adventure is always in our mind.

In Neverland, we’ll live without fear,
Where each moment’s magic is crystal clear.
Together, forever, we’ll laugh and play,
In Neverland, time slips away.

My Wonderland is your Neverland,
We will be forever together, hand in hand.
The same goes for you, and you are for me,
In this endless world, we’re meant to be.

Through the looking glass, we’ll chase our dreams,
In realms where nothing is quite as it seems.
Where time doesn’t pass, and love knows no end,
You are my forever, my love, my friend.

In your Neverland, we’ll never grow old,
Where every moment is a story untold.
I’ll be your Wendy, you’ll be my Peter Pan,
Together, we’ll conquer the skies and the land.

In my Wonderland, we’ll dance in the dark,
Laugh and twirl, leaving our mark.
With the Mad Hatter and Cheshire by our side,
Our hearts forever, nothing to hide.

We’ll explore the unknown, both near and far,
Our love will be our guiding star.
In Wonderland, in Neverland, we’ll be free,
For we are meant for each other, you and me.
Sep 2020 · 77
Far Away </3
yndnmncnll Sep 2020
I'm letting you go
I'm setting you free,
It's not you because it's me
I love you but this is goodbye;
I just want to let you know
I love you goodbye.

I never stopped loving you
It was you who chose to walk away,
I never stopped aporoaching you
It was you who went away;

I am so confused
Our set-up was so infused
That's why bridges should be burned
And tables should have turned

I am way too good for you
You are no good for me
You will just take me for granted
And then leave me unattended

Do I have to notice you first and aporoach you
Just to let you know that I will be here for you
But I won't be that girl any longer
Who would stay by your side forever

That's why I need to let go of your hand
I hope you understand
As i walk far away, I hope you close your eyes
And wipe away the tears falling from your eyes.
Sep 2020 · 2.2k
Selda ng Kahapon
yndnmncnll Sep 2020
Ang kalayaang ipinagkait sa akin ng tadhana,  
ang kalayaang gumala na naglaho parang bula.  
Singlayo ng mga tala, hindi maabot,  
nawala dahil sa isang pagkakamali—  
isang pagkakamaling hindi sinasadya.  

Ngunit ang pagkakamaling iyon,  
nauwi sa paulit-ulit na pagkakasala,  
hanggang naging bahagi ng bawat araw.  
Dalawampung taon akong nabuhay  
sa mundong walang tiwala  
mula sa aking mga magulang.  

Ilang beses kong binalikan  
ang mga tanong,  
nagbabakasakaling hanapin ang sagot.  
O, kalungkutan, lubayan mo na ako!  
Naririnig ko ang ulap, umiiyak,  
pumapatak ang luha nito.  

Ang kanilang tingin sa akin—  
isang nilalang na walang halaga,  
isang pagkakamali na kailanman  
ay hindi mababawi.  
Hawak ko ang katotohanan—  
ang katotohanang natatakot akong tanggapin.  
Balang araw, tatawagin akong salot sa lipunan.  
Milyon-milyong mata, tenga, at bibig  
ang naghusga sa akin,  
tila alam ang bawat lihim ng aking pagkatao.  

Sa pagitan ng pag-alis at pagbalik,  
paaralan man o klinika ng espesyalista,  
ang paghihintay ay tila isang habambuhay.  
Limang taon kong idinalangin sa Diyos  
na tupdin ang aking hiling,  
at nangyari nga.  
Ngunit kahit nakakulong ka na,  
hindi ko magawang maging masaya.  
Pagkakamali nating dalawa ito,  
ngunit ikaw lamang ang pinarusahan.  

Ikaw ang naging katahimikan  
sa maingay kong mundo.  
Ngunit nang muli kitang makita,  
sa presinto, harap-harapan,  
tila apoy ang bumalot sa kapaligiran.  
Tanim na poot at galit  
ang bumalot sa aking puso.  

Sa pagtulog ko,  
rinig ko ang tiktak ng relo.  
Minsan, nilaro ako ng panaginip—  
kasama raw kita.  
Gising, natutulala ako,  
nalulunod sa lalim ng iniisip.  

Sa gitna ng pagbalik-tanaw,  
nananatili ako sa kama,  
hinihintay ang sagot  
sa mga tanong ng aking isipan.  
Sapagkat ang buhay,  
tulad ng gulong—  
minsan nasa itaas,  
minsan nasa ibaba.
Sep 2020 · 1.6k
Nagmamahal, Mahal.
yndnmncnll Sep 2020
Hindi ko mahanap  
ang tamang mga salita  
upang maipahayag sa iyo  
ang nais kong sabihin.  
Ngunit tila panahon na  
upang ilabas ko ang lahat ng hinanakit,  
ang mga pasakit na dinanas ko  
habang nasa piling mo.  
Noong mga panahong  
akin ka pa,  
noong mga araw na magkasama pa tayo,  
at noong mga sandaling  
may “tayo” pang umiiral.  

Hindi ko inasahang magbabago ka,  
na magsasawa ka,  
na iiwan mo ako,  
at ipagpapalit sa kanya.  
Pero ang hindi ko maunawaan,  
bakit mo nasabing ayaw mo na?  
Pagod ka lang ba talaga,  
o napagod ka na  
sa atin, sa sitwasyon,  
sa pagtatago,  
sa mga muntikan na tayong mabuking,  
o sa mga araw na may nakakita sa atin?  
Sino ba talaga ang nagbago—  
ako, ikaw,  
o baka tayo pareho?  

Bakit tila nawalan ka na ng gana?  
Ang mga salita mo’y naging malamig,  
ang mga yakap mo’y unti-unting naglaho,  
at ang dati **** liwanag  
sa mga mata’y nawala.  
Sa gitna ng lahat ng ito,  
ako’y patuloy na lumalaban,  
habang ikaw,  
unti-unting bumitaw.  

Paano mo nagawang balewalain  
ang lahat ng pinagsamahan natin?  
Paano mo natapos  
ang ugnayang binuo natin nang magkasama?  
Ngayon, nauunawaan ko na  
kung bakit mo ako iniwan:  
nakuha mo na ang gusto mo—  
sirain ako,  
iwan ako,  
pagkatapos mo akong pakinabangan.  

Noong araw na hinatid mo ako  
hanggang sa dulo ng kalsada,  
lumingon ako,  
nagbabakasakaling lilingon ka rin,  
tatakbo papunta sa akin,  
yayakapin ako,  
susuyuin ako  
na huwag kang iwan.  
Pero hindi na pala.  
Pinili **** lumayo,  
at sa wakas,  
pinili ko ring  
huwag nang bumalik pa.  

Nararamdaman ko na lang  
ang mga hawak mo—  
tila paalam na,  
ang mga yakap **** nanlalamig,  
ang mga titig **** umiiwas,  
hanggang sa tuluyan kang nawala.  
Ang mga pangako ****  
“mahal kita,”  
“ikaw lang,”  
at “hindi kita iiwan”—  
lahat pala’y kasinungalingan.  

Noong akin ka pa,  
pinanghawakan ko ang mga salitang iyon,  
pero ngayon,  
ang “ikaw at ako”  
ay naging bulong na lamang sa hangin,  
tinatangay ng nakaraan.  

Kung iisa tayo,  
bakit mo nagawang pagkaisahan  
ang damdamin ko?  
Saan ako nagkulang?  
Saan ako nagkamali?  
At bakit mo ako iniwang ganito?  

Oo, bigla kang nawala,  
at nagmukha akong tanga  
kakahanap sa iyo.  
Hanggang sa makita kita,  
nasa piling na pala ng iba.  
Sobrang saya mo sa kanya,  
ibang-iba sa tuwing ikaw ay kasama ko noon.  

Pinilit kong lumayo,  
kahit alam kong mahirap.  
Pinalaya kita,  
kahit hindi ko kaya.  
Ginawa ko ito para  
sa kapayapaan nating dalawa.  

Hindi na kita hahabulin.  
Tanggap ko na—  
matagal na tayong wala.  
Ibabaon ko sa limot  
ang lahat ng sakit,  
ang lahat ng alaala,  
at ang lahat ng naging tayo.  

Paalam,  
nagmamahal pa rin,  
Mahal.

— The End —