I scream at the demons
pushing over indiscriminate objects
tripping me through clear doorways
knocking things from my feeble hands
laughing constantly in my head
like evil clowns

I live my life
with the blindness of the sun
searing days with nuclear rays
burning, burning, everyone

Beyond my mind no description exists of who I am

I have only ever engaged in meaningful conversation when I have been silent.

Every decision I make is pushed by the ghost of my younger self and pulled by the blurry image of my future.

I held the door open
for the man who let me in
but he decided to stay
and grace us with his presence
for at least a while longer
a chance
to get to know who is
inside the armour
a putting down of the shield
hidden behind for so long
even after great personal loss
he gripped my hand
with affection rather than
hanging on for dear life
and every time I leave him
alone in his hospital bed
I feel a slice of the great loss
I very nearly experienced