Every day the sun rises,
And it kisses the sky with beautiful colors.
I wake every morning to these beautiful colors,
the deep reds and oranges emblaze the sky as if the clouds were on fire.
As I look at this horizon I admire it.
The sky shows the world in a different light,
In this moment currently as I stare at the horizon. All I can feel, all I can think about is how peaceful and calm the world is at this moment.
I often think about how it would feel like to be a cloud, not having much struggle,
I smile glad to be me and not a cloud because without struggling then how could I grow?
Yes, the world is full of anguish and pain but, not in this moment.
This moment is the moment where I can just be me.
The clouds do not judge, they don’t criticize the way I look or the way I dress the stuff I do I am human nothing more nothing less in this moment I am human.
The sky is a wondrous and mystical sight I am always trying to alter those around me to try and make the world how I want it to be.
This moment is what I want to be.
This moment is what I want my future to be.
This moment is what I want to look forward to every day of my life.
But now I must arise and start my day.
So, I say good bye to this sweet moment of bliss.

As I press the cold metal blade to my arm I heist a moment not because,
I have something to live for it is because I am racking my brain for something anything that gives me reason to live.
but the further and harder I look the more I realize I lost my friends a long time ago my family now at a distance and all that is left making me is the empty shell of my body it wouldn’t come as a shock if someone was calling me the walking dead because I’m barely getting through the day struggling.
I guess I knew a long time ago that I was lost so lost that I couldn’t’ and wouldn’t be found the more I think the harder I press on the cold blade in my hand I feel a cool light sting the blade has broken my skin it is digging deeper in my skin the blood starts to spill so I yank he blade in a single swipe pushing ******* the blade
as I look at my skin were the blade cut the blood spilling my blood gathering up creating a puddle I realize this cut is not going to be fixed and I am going to die.
I’m going to die in this world because I was left alone.
I sat there trying to write the last words anyone will hear from me the reason why the note with no idea on what to say.
I put my hand down into the puddle of blood that is getting bigger,
my arm is on fire and I like the pain.
the pain that everyone knows that is there because it is visible on the paper in my blood I write my last words it is a question that would be flying around why was this done to me?
at least I won’t be here to see the fake tears on those around me,
those I thought loved me but not so in the end the reason why is because I am not truly loved all those around me saying that they care they are faking it and that is what I have been doing faking it trying to make it.
So, as the last of my coherent thoughts leave me I say good bye to those who don’t love me and those who are like me good bye.
Goodbye.

No one gets me,
No one sees my pain,
No one sees me cry,
I show no emotion other than rage and confidence,
No one knows how weak I feel,
No one knows how scared I am.
No one knows how small I feel,
No one knows how hard I try to keep myself bright and cheery,
No one knows how I see the world around me.
No one sees me cry my tears,
No one knows that I cry in the night where my face is hidden in the dark,
No one knows that I am trying to pull myself out of an empty black abyss.
No one knows that there is no bliss for me,
No one knows how lonely I feel,
No one knows how guilty I feel with my friends how dumb I feel,
No one knows how fake I am the smiles I give are fake the laugh I give is fake,
No one know what I am truly thinking, sometimes I don’t even know what I am thinking.
Though no one knows that death is the only thing that is being honest,
You think I’m lying put death a chance.
people when they think they are about to die weather by their own hands or someone else by an accident.
they say that their lives are flashing by their eyes that not true that’s the reasons for staying alive the only true reasons that you fight everyday against death the only reason that you get up in the morning the reason you face your worst nightmare.
So thinking about dying maybe the near death experience might help you realize the good things in life or maybe it will make you realize you don’t have a reason for living but what do I know I’m not in your brain the only person in control is yourself so if you do decide to go over that is not on me don’t blame me for your mistake.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Freedom is perfect,
And so are you,
Orchids are white,
Gost one’s are rare,
My suppy is short,
And so is your hair,
Magnolia grow,
With buds like eyes,
A neck is slender,
And so are your legs.
Sunflowers reach,
Up to the sky,
competition is perfect,
and so are your eyes.
Fox gloves in hedges,
Surround the farm,
The face is thin and so arm your arms.
Daisies are pretty.
Daffies have style.
Infantry is light,
And so is your smile.
Waterfalls are beautiful,
Just like you.

You say you’re here to help me,
but you don’t know the pain and suffering I am feeling even if there is no reason for the pain.
I feel the constant feeling of loneliness that is always following me around.
You say that there is a reason for everything,
I don’t believe you because you don’t understand my brain and how it works.
You know the basics of how to tell if something is going on,
But you don’t know the thoughts running through my head.
The bigger picture that you aren’t seeing the pain you may see in my eyes,
but you don’t know why it’s there you don’t know how many people I have had to stop from ending themselves from their last and only true mistake that would have been you wouldn’t think it that many how is it possible,
I’m 14 the count is higher than most would be comfortable the way you try to put yourself into my shoes is something you can’t do without taking on all my pain and suffering from others that I have helped the ones i couldn't.
I have fixed so many people without the thought of its effect on my mental health.
I can tell you it is negative are you going to tell me that the things you hear from people so young hasn’t affected your mental health?
Think try to remember, now try to honestly tell me that your mental health is sane that you are the one who can help and take my pain away?
should I just keep up helping those who have issue ‘s and refuse to talk to people like you then i drive myself insane past the breaking point beyond fixing.
the point where I have realized that this world is gone and beyond fixing because it is corrupt,
and has lost sight of what truly matters by now I’m losing faith in our world our culture our prospects of life.
Losing hope for the others my age who I couldn’t get to before they dug the blade deep deeper then fixing not reaching fast enough to knock the gun from their hands before they pull the trigger. to untie the noose around their neck. from stopping them from taking pills or purposely overdosing. not able o drain the water before they drown themselves.
Every child whose life is lost to suicide is another hope another piece of my brain gone down the drain replaced with the dark thoughts it is a wonder why I haven’t fallen,
yet I keep standing fighting fights for those who think they can’t fight no more.
so can you continue to tell me that it will get better that it wasn't my fault i couldn't save him that i did what i could even though i know i could have done more,
because his words saying something i should have taken seriously no one knew that he talked to that he confided in me i didn't take it seriously because he hadn't talked to me much before,
his words his voice echoes in my head telling me asking silently what he couldn't ask his friends he needed someone he didn't know to tell his last wish his silent cry for help.
that i didn't understand until it was to late keeping my mouth shut not saying anything.
separating myself pretending that he never really talked to me but now i can't hide  the truth any more so until you have lost someone to suicide and didn't know they were asking for help without asking then you can say that you know were i am coming from.

One by one I’m counting the mistakes knowing what’s at stake,
Never able to get it right.
Not able to succeed it makes me sick to my stomach,
Never passing the bar.
Just telling myself I’ll get it this time,
Always silently hitting my head against the wall.
I’m just counting the mistakes one by one knowing what’s at stake.
I’m right about to get my prize,
Than a mistake is made,
And one by one they start adding them up,
All my mistakes,
One by one.

I may make mistakes,
I may try too hard,
I may over work myself,
I may seem too optimistic,
I may be too disobedient,
I may be extremely annoying,
I may love too hard,
I may be too passionate,
I may hold on too tight,
I may be too serious,
I may get too hurt over the little things,
I may read too much,
I may be an outcast,
I may be lonely,
I may be too loud,
I may talk too much,
I may ask too many questions,
I may know too much,
I may over analyze everything,
I may second guess all my decisions,
I may test you to your wits end,
I may be an emotional mess,
I may seem crazy,
I may be too stubborn,
I may be hot headed,
I may be immature,
I may seem to be weighed down by something,
I may push you to do something you are too afraid to do,
I guess this means I may not be afraid to be me,
But what rights does that give you to judge me, just because I say these things doesn’t give you the right to say them.

The evening stars are twinkling,
The owls are hooting,
The children are sleeping,
The wolves are howling,
The winds are whistling.
The sun is now shinning,
The owls are snoozing,
The children are playing,
The wolves are hunting,
The winds are whipping.

Life is hard,
Life will pass you by.
Life is trying,
Life is painful.
Life is like a clock,
Ticking away.
Life is like an endless song,
Of pain and torture.
Life is taking,
Life is controlling.
Life is deteriorating,
Life is dumb,
Life is stupid.
Life passes by,
Life will hit you hard,
Harder than a thousand whips
Cracking on your skin
Leaving you ragged and ******
But life’s torture isn’t visible to the human eye.
Life is like a white canvas waiting to be painted on,
No matter what colors or patterns you try to paint or create,
they are changed to how society wants the picture to be painted.
Life has these expectations for everyone to follow there is no breaking free from the undeniable and strong grips of life, and the expectations it holds for you.

Just because I don’t listen that doesn’t mean that I am a bad listener,
Just because I like poetry that doesn’t make me a poet,
Just because I read books that doesn’t mean that I am smart,
Just because I am helpful that doesn’t mean that I am a goody to shoe.
Just because I go to the library that doesn’t mean that I am a book worm,
Just because I don’t do what I am supposed to that doesn’t mean I’m insubordinate,
Just because I’m confident that doesn’t mean that I am strong,
Just because I cry that doesn’t mean that I am weak,
Just because I give up that doesn’t mean I’m not passionate.
Just because I say I want to die that doesn’t mean that I’m suicidal,
Just because I tell my friends to **** me that doesn’t mean I want to die,
Just because I say the world would be better without me doesn’t mean that I am worthless.
Just because I act like others that doesn’t mean I’m not me.