To be described as disgusting is one of the worst thing any human could say to another. As a big girl who happens to be black it's somewhat more hurtful. Because we are already told we aren't good enough, pretty enough. Girls try to give themselves 'black features' not understand the struggles we as black women deal with. Small shaped girls want big ***** and a phat as not knowing that as a bigger girl we get body shamed and abused for thd same things regardless if we do work out or not. It's beyond irritating that people believe they can call one person disgusting let alone look for women who try to be us.

My life seems great to someone who has ' made up issues'.
My life seems great because I have family who care.
My life seems great to someone looking in from the outside.

My life is my own and I choose how I want to live it.
My life is more complex then others would understand.
My life is full of pain I hide because people don't get me.

My pain is my own as is the way I choose to deal with it.
My heart is mine to giveaway but my to maintain.
My mind is mine to stimulate, but it is mine to share.

My story is mine and mine alone, My view is that off someone who's been broken from an early stage in life, due to an absent father, a life off bulling, a bunch of fake friends and an ex-husband who was unfair and unjust in his way towards me at the end of our life.

My story I share because sometimes it hurts to hold it in. My pain is something I hide from the world because they don't want to hear it.

Where do I go from here? Who am I anymore? Why do I care for those who could careless for me? Who am I alone?

One day at a time I fight the urge that is anger and frustration.
I dream of the day I am free from the demands of those around me.
One day at a time I try saving myself from the down fall that emotions bring and the emotions of others who try to **** the life force out of you, thinking they have a right to your energy.
I dream of the day of freedom from those who 'call themselves my friends'.
One day at a time I cry a little less because my soul is slowly healing from the damage of those who 'claim to love me'.
I dream of the day when someone loves me for me.
One day at a time I grow strong and smarter everyday.
One day at a time I grow tired of the tears and liars of those around me.
One day at a time I find myself again.

Today would off been four year of marriage.
But today i decided to celebrate being single.
My husband was horrid, a person who used me.
He broke my heart, my soul and me as a person.
For three years, I was working thought it, a way to move on.
I was scared, unsure and didn't know what to do.
I miss him, I miss his laugh, I miss his smile, I miss him as my best friend.
My he left me alone and deserted, he lied, cheated and broke me.
Today I moved on. I chose to change my view and my life.

You are nobody, you mean nothing.
The person you are today, is someone I don't know.
I loved you. I gave you everything.
You broke me, you broke my heart.
Today you no longer control me.

My heart was yours from the moment we met.
Each word you spoken filled my head.
Laugher and smiles, tears of joy.
All because I found you, you had filled my heart with joy.
We fell in love instantly, no regrets about it.
A best friend, lover and husband in one. Then you cheated and decided to run.
You ran away from yourself more then you did me but I'll forever love you that's why you haven't divorced me.
Our love was like no other. And no woman will know you like me. Your heart was always in the right place and thats why i know you left me.