A dusty road and tall pine trees on a cloudless day filters light through the trees in such a way reminding me that even dirt can be beautiful with light present.

My options are few
I honestly only have two
Wait for you......
Or don’t
The equality in pain strains my soul out of my body
Floating above myself saying “somebody help that guy”
My own soul doesn’t recognize me anymore
I’ve become a frail pale corpse of just existing
Negative purpose deeper then the surface of the hurt on my face
I positively have no place to race at the pace I use to run at.
My body is worn down to much
The chest I kept joy in before has been stolen
The X marked the spot, you hit the jackpot
Stealing away yourself, the only treasure I had
The hole that was dug created a cavity
Not one that a dentist could fill
But one that made me empty without you, my sweet Emily.
No pill or drug can take my pain away
As my soul still apart from me thinks maybe life is better this way?
A soulless existence with no feelings to have destroyed
Like a robot or just “some body” null and void

It bubbles up in my chest like a contaminated effervescent drink.
I can’t rest, I can’t think, existence is inconsistent
I am shaken and going to pop
when in this state of mind
The capitol is anxiety, it’s a city I can’t escape from for to long at a time
Even if I travel away for the day
There is no permanent solution to the strength of this pollution inside of me.