I carried you
for 9 months
In the safe confines
of my body

I sang to you
I played the classics for you
I read poetry
It was utter excitement

The waiting was torturous
could not wait to see
Your precious face
and touch your little toes

The day, finally arrived
pain, indescribable
Joyous tears
I was to be a new mommy

But here I sit today
remembering...
you didn't cry
But died

I held your lifeless body
my hands shaking
my heart shattered
you were gone

All these years later
On this day
I still remember
Your birthday

I celebrate your soul
for I know
God had better plans
The answers I may never know...

All I know
On this day, 22years later
I still remember how
Time stopped... briefly

R.I.P my little boy, always in my heart.

Your beautiful brown eyes
A window to your soul
I can tell you everything
My mommy, my friend

I know you love me, unconditionally
It is the one certainty
I have always known
Your love for me never questioned

Mommy, you are my anchor
In my happy days
And my darkest days
My mommy, I love you unconditionally

My heart

frozen in snow

the chill of winter

will remain on these lonely days


I remember

our first kiss

your lips

was made for mine


We use to lay

entwined for hours

forgetting that our hearts

was ever broken


Everyone tells me

to let you go

finally, be free

of missing your touch


But they don't know

how I miss you

how much I need you

even though I know, I should not


We have tried

so many times

perhaps,

we didn't give it our all

I have to forget
I have to let go
but your touch
lingers...into the night

My 3am thoughts
In your arms
Your hands searching
Caressing my body

I have to forget
I have to let go
But your touch
...I miss

Desperate kisses
Demanding all of me
I have to let go
but I miss... your touch

I listened to
your tender, loving words
I have observed
your actions... closely

My once happy heart
has turned to stone
In my solitude
My soul accepts all my tears

With my head
in the palm of my aging hands
I live with memories
I will fail to bury

I do not cry
my heartache
bleeds onto pages
I share my words with beautiful souls

I write to feel
I write to bleed
I write to remember
and often to forget

I read your poetry
to feel with you
to reflect with you
and offer my poetic embrace