Finally, I was there, so close that I could almost touch you.
After so many years looking at you only by a computer screen and old paper pictures,
It feels like you are a creation of my mind.
How would you look in front of my eyes? Will you be different from my dreams?
Strangely, I’m not nervous.
The idea of that encounter be only an illusion was keeping my anxiety down.
That couldn’t be real, could be?

Suddenly, I see you.
Dressed all in black, your hair moving as you walk, smile on your face.
As you’re coming closer I start to forget who I am.
Is my body flying? Did I forget how to speak? Do I remember how to breathe?
I feel numb.
You’re finally in front of me and I can be sure now that you are real.
I see the sweat running down your neck and your green eyes shining with fire.
You don’t even look human, you are perfect.
You give your hand to us and I know that if I take it, my heart will stop.

But I can’t reach it…
It’s so close but, at the same time, it’s impossible to reach it.
I finally can see you but I also can finally realize that you are superior.
You’re so far away from me, an unbreakable barrier.
I still have fights to face, I’m full of monsters in my head, the paranoias that don’t allow me to have peace. I’m still looking for a place to call home, hoping that one day I can find my own light to shine.
But you...you are the light that can guide millions. You’re literally a star.
Your image, your soul, your heart and your existence feels superior to us all.

For so many times, you helped me to fight my fears and, sometimes, even fight against myself.
You were my teacher, my savior, my idol and my friend. My great example and my great influence.
I dreamed of making you feel my gratitude so you would feel there is someone in this world that you saved uncountable times.
But I can’t say this, you can’t listen to me, you are so close but also so farther...

At the end of the night, the magic is over, I can no longer see you.
Maybe I will never see you again, but it’s for sure that I will never reach you.
Did anything change in my heart? Do I admire you more or do I need to say goodbye to the hopes you gave to me?
I can’t remember which road I should take now.
But I know that when I fall asleep, what I will see it won’t be a dream anymore, but a memory.

My most precious memory of you is the last photo we took together.

Your gaze was calm and mesmerizing, full of intentions impossible to enumerate.

Your famous mischievous smile almost seemed innocent in contrast to your mocking tongue, which displayed the secret jewel that adorned it.

But that wasn't the boldest decoration of your body.

Some of it was born with you, like the three perfectly aligned birthmarks below your left eye. Others you decided to bring to light, like your fascinating and terrifying lilac eyes, and your silver hair, pieces of the moon Herself melting over your head.

You were bizarrely lovely.

Like a good dream that would make waking up sweeter, you became my most beloved fantasy.

It ran through your veins a natural drug that you secretly shared with me and the world would become colorful as a deranged kaleidoscope every time we started flying.

And then, tragedy.

The world turned into gray, the color of your new uniform and ugly handcuffs.

Never again did a fun day come, just new horrific scars.

They cut off your wings, bound your hands, and plucked what they called “your abominable eyes”.

Screams, cries, and revolts did nothing to save you. Soon, there was only silence.

Lost and desperate, I decided to imprison myself in the same darkness into which you were thrown, attempting to be united to you again.

That picture became a blade that cut deep into my brain as it reminded me of how beautiful our madness was.

So I became blind, just like you.

My sky never again had bright, endless lilac stars that colored my life.

We were forced to discover sanity is not so pleasant...