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  Nov 2018 Veni
Nat Lipstadt
Why Men Cry in the Bathroom

For so many reasons.
I will tell you the why.
I think you know,
Or perhaps, you think you know.

Men are always O.K.,
Even when not.

We expect the worse,
Accept the worse,
Nonetheless,
We are forever unprepared.

Wearily, we cry,
In the bathroom, in private,
Lest sighs slip by,
We be unmasked,
Early warring, strife signs warning.

Copious, tho we weep
Before the mirror confessor,
It is relief untethered,
Unbinding of the feet,
An uncounting
Of beaded rosaries,
Of freshly fallen hail stones,
Of night times terrors
By dawn's early edition's light,
and welcomed.

But look for the mute tear,
The eye-cornered drop,
*** tat, that never drops,
But never ceases formation and
Reforming, over and over again,
In a state of perpetuity of reconstitution,

The tippy tear of an iceberg revealing,
And I see you peeping, wondering,
What is beneath


Look for:
the torn worm-eaten edges of spirit,
thrift shop bought, extra worn,
grieving lines neath the eyes,
where the salt has evaporated,
discolored the skin.
worry lines,
under and above,
browed mapped, furrowed boundaries.
the laugh line saga,
where better days are stored,
recalled, as well as recanted,
publicly, privately.

Why just men?

I don't know,
Perhaps,
it is all I know.


Jan 6, 2013
your effusive and lengthy comments are each a poem in their own right.  

Tinkered with June 22, 2013
With a push from Bala,
A serial peeper, thank God!
  Nov 2018 Veni
Frank
Hush now, its just m̵̗̐͜e̵̢̍ͅ and you.

You're asleep.

We have lots of c̴̠̈́͝a̶̛̞͘t̶̪̊č̵̨̝̊h̶͙̖̎͂i̵͍̰̒͊ṅ̷̮̥ḡ̵̼̲̿ ̸̭̗̌͗ų̴̳̑̽ṗ̵̞̫̃ to do.

It's ok.

Ill tell you everything you did w̸̧̹̗̝͈͌͊̋̅̿͗̚̕ȑ̶͙͎̯͓̓̈o̴̢̭͙̫̠̮̹̬̮̫̫͋͛͛̒̓͐̄͆̓̀͗̑̊̽͝ͅͅͅṇ̶̛̻̑̆̂̀̕­̡͇g̴̢͎͇̩̹͚͈̈́͗̈́̽.

Its ok.


Ill tell you e̸̺̖͖̘̺̼͖̗͕̹̦̺̼͇͇̣̫̮͎̹͕̣͋̌̐̈́̑̂̓͂̆̐̒͒̐̔̒̽̾̆̅̕͘͝͝v̵̙̿͛́̈́̍̀͝e̷̽̂̓̌͗̚­̧̧̢̱̖̬̣̦̬͖̤̲͇̥̥͇͕̍r̵̭͙̥̺̙̜͉̹͕̽̍͆̈́̉̽̾͂̋̕͝͠y̶̡̜̝̮͙̞͖͔̻̻͙̲̒̅͐ͅ ̶̢̧̩͚̝̰̺̜̎̈̀͆͐̉̀́͑̊͂͐̌̒̂̀̃̊̊͘̚͘͜͠d̷͎̤́̔̽̂̑̒͐̑̈́͛̾̈́̿́̊̅̾̕͘̕͝͝͝e̴͋̐͠­̡̠̟̥̼͈͇̫͉̙͕͕͜ṫ̷̡͎̪͈͆͆͠a̸̗̼̤͚͉̟̞̞̥͓̹͔̼̩̟̔̒̏̌̉́́̓̂͒͌̋́͂̑̎͒͜ͅi̷̋̔̅̈­̧̡̡̰͚̱̝͍̱͉͙̎̇͒̈̐̓͛̔̅̔̚̕͠͝ḻ̷̡͖̗̝̿̋͋͜ͅ.̵̧̛̻̼̪̥̘͙̹̜͇͉͎̈́̉̏̐̉̉̋͑̏͆̓̓̀­̥̮̥̜̱̲̱̠͈̦̤͎





Y̸̢̓̌͐̎̒̒ö̴̩̞͕͍͕̣̼̼͕́͗͑̉͋̈́̃̓̀́͊͘͜ͅú̸͐̿̏̒̃̉́͗́̔­̧̨̦͚͙͎̹͈͕̲̻̘̟̩̏ ̶̩̝͈͈̪͕̺̪̼̞͓̙̐́̉̌̒̐́̆̾̂́́͠ͅç̵̧̧̯̹̺̤̙̝̳̺̻̩̲̲̃á̷͕̙̥͍̻̀̚n̴̽̅́̓̀̈́̕͝­͇͓͓̮̰̣͔͉͕̝̓̍̊t̵̨̡͍̰̰̘̖̜̖͐̇͂́ ̵̘͔͇̩̭̤͖̹̺̥̙͇͎̦͓͇̉̆͑́̽̃͑͛̃͂͝s̷̮̜̬̩̞̮̖̪͙̫̪̱̗̠̣̾̈̌̽̉̚̚̕͜t̷̓̾̔̒̎̇͐̚͝­̼̹̖̱̟͈͍̦͈̜̩̃̒ͅö̴͚̤͍͌̑͝ͅp̴̧̧̧̭̼̩̭̗̗̹͔̘̏ͅ ̸̜̅̏̎̐̊͆̌̐̇́̒̍̈́̚͝m̴̧̧̰͕͈̣̬̰̯̰̦̲̣̀͂̋̐̿͛̚̕̚ë̵͍̤́͠.̶̩̞̻̭̯̘̥̪̥̱̰̅



­
Because I H̷̢̧̻̭̹͎͚̭̤̤̲̲̦̹̹̣̞̪͈̞̤͚̰̰̞͔̥̠̲̱̮͓̳̞̪͈̺̦̘̲̺͑̅̽̔̑́̆̄̑̿̒͑̏̑̾̌̈́͑͆͘͜͝­̝͎Ă̶̢̧̡̛̰͕͇̹͙̹͕͉͕̞̥̗͔̭̪̣͙̦͔̥͈̬̼͛͑̑̓̏͊̓̄̌̒͗̈́̾͆̓̊̿͛́̊̈́̓̃̀̎̒̽͘̕͝͝͝ͅ­T̸̡̢̮͓̩͉̞̥͍̻͉̯̠̮̩̪̺̥̪̥̤̦͙̤̯̞͖͈̠͎̰̫̬̠̩̯̜͖͙͓̦̞̬̯̀̂̒͐͛̄̋͋͆́͐͋͘͝͝ͅͅE̸­͇̤̖̲̟̲̾͊͆̇̄̃̀̓͊͊͆̏́̕͜͠ you.
Veni Jun 2018
So Anxious
So tense but yet so numb
These feelings manifest out of regret, remorse and revenge
The confusion of ones weary mind drives one insane
As I continue the failing attempts of coping
There’s no more left
I want something Ill never have ; solace
The privilege of feeling complete
Whether I’m complete or not there’s always something missing
What is it
And why me ?
So guarded it’s almost impossible for one to have an open mind
No peace of mind
No shoulder to cry on
No tears left to cry
No heart left to love
No strength left to fight
No trust left to lead me astray once more
No more friends to leave my back sore
Everyday is a fight of prestige and condemnation amongst the painful memories engraved in my brain
Less than nostalgic; more than sentimental
The value of my existence just decreases with every hurting breathe I take.
I don’t want to be a lone body but that’s all I am
It’s all I ever be ; weakened flesh
Angry and bitter
Cringing at everything that seems to good to be true
For me … that is
What am I to do
Wait
Wait
Wait
And wait to acquire an expiration date
Nowhere is where I belong
I think this weeping willow is at the end of her song .
  May 2018 Veni
Grand Piano
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
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