We were awake before the sun

chosen by a maelstrom

cold sweat soaked skin

I hear the ringing

of darkness

singing

forces

bringing

me
closer
to
it.

I see the boy I used to be
not in a dream but on the street.

He walks alone without a beat
or rhythm in his feet.

He kicks a stone.
His mobile phone is glued to his cheek.

He seems the very model of
a troubled teenage tearaway.

Nothings lead to nothings, lead
to nothing honest he can say.

He knows what others think he is
and he’s terrified.

He thinks enough to know that he was
born lost.

He doesn’t toil his wits,
unwind a coil of ignorance
or dabble in some dissonance.

He speaks with recycled bits
of other people’s words.

He likes to quote celebrities
who like to speak in major keys,
who comfort him like family
and apathy.

He knows their faces
better than his own.

He remains featureless
but will cast the first stone.

Use less the thoughts
which others give.
Use less the shiv
you stab yourself with.
Use less anothers *****
mirror.
Use less that man:
the lady killer.

Use more the third-person
pronoun.
Use more Arethra
'n' motown.
Use more the problem solving
thoughts.
Use more a racket
On tennis courts.

Spine clamped,
blurred sight,
and choked.

Brow furrowed
like an indignant dog,
or a suicidal brigadier ****
commanding failure.

Paralyzed in those
Past and future
tsunamis of shame.

Bunga Bunga everywhere,

a powerful man with silly hair
seduced a girl too young and scared,
was married too but didn’t care.
Corrupt and feared!

Bunga Bunga sounds like fun,

a swimming pool and saucy sun,
an Egyptian that was on the run
Or, under-aged Morocun
Who ****** the boss!

Bunga Bunga ***** and *****,

coffles of women to choose
and buy and grab and ride and use,
with confidence
and so much to lose,
but why didn’t he lose?

Why didn’t he lose when it was on the news
and hundreds of thousands of people accused  
him of scandal and incompetence?
He never revealed his conscience
or any remorse for play boy antics
so far removed from his pedantic
stereotype as a political leader,
more like a ****** wheeler dealer,
pervy old ***** geezer,
over cologned,
greasy,
heavy breather;
machinating falsifier;
misogynistic *******.

He prized a Ruby above the rest.
Bunga bunga, what a pest...
she leaked his private fetish fest;
poor Silvio, he tried his best
to hide the bribes and bets
and ****** and drugs and threats
but never could care
what was right and
what was fair.
Could only care
about the colour of his
**** hair.

The day I act like
I am my own father
will be the day I
become a man.

I ****** your umbrella high
enough so rain drops bounce
back at the sky.

We bathe in wind
like sparrows.
We dive through conversations;
our stomachs churn
as we leap from co-constructed
memories which float between us
then dissipate in the rain.

We find a bench to perch
and wait for a moment.