Held to the bottom
I want to release this numb feeling
To fee this emptiness
I want to defeat this memory
These unyielding ideas and stories.
I want to hit it down and strangle this life
I want to hold it down under the thick mud beneath my feet
I want to watch it take its last breath
To watch the insane life wither out of its eyes.
I want to **** it
I want to ****
Me.

Again
Again
And again,
I believed it could be true
I let my imagination take over my mind
Leading me astray from the realities of this life.
Cold and alone
I sit with my eyes filled with tears
Tears I caused from my silly ignorance.
Again
And again
I believed he might love me
Like a father should
But like always
I'm left there sitting alone, hands shaking
and eyes raw.
Unlovable and out of reach
He holds the keys to my happiness
He holds me captive without even realizing
But again
And again
I let him rule over me
Unable to get up
I chose to dream.