"When will you leave?" I asked.
"When you use me to grow yourself,"
replied the pain.

A Catastrophe
Guarantees change forever
Broken eggs happen

i can cover up the bruises
and put away the nooses
and pretend the sky isn't grey

conceal my feelings
feign peace with your dealings
and claim it's been a good day

burn my negativity
disguise my proclivities
and filter every word i say

in effort to soothe
and be warm for you
i will be 'okay'



today i'll do it just for you
but one day i want it to be true

today i'll do it to make it easy
but one day i want it to be for me

Not noticed from beginning
Parallel parked car
Windshield tinted
Stickered bumper
Wiping tears to collect in a jar
Nails chewed at the ends
Watching through small panes of glass
Fence of fear put between us
Fighting demons that harass
About whether to halt or flee
Butterflies telling lies
Distance will take away secrets
Conscious is cut down to size
Said you couldn't believe luck
Being with a girl like me
Something darkening your pupils
Smelled hint of sour finally
Cheeks flushed crimson with blood and shame
Plans cancelled out of the blue
Sorry said like it was not a big deal
Worked before a time or two
Did you suspect me to be that gullible?
That I would not check your alibi?
You think I'd be easy to forget
With **** of your head said goodbye
Still going through worst every day
Loneliness deeper than the sea
Sensing lost connection dwindling fast
Increasing intake
Caffeine and vitamin c
Maybe were chained to my skeleton
Hanging on because you had no choice
You weren't playing me the whole time
Rendezvous and secrets shared your voice
As I drink insecurities
You in a hurry go out the front door
Follow and find out where you drive
Heart was needing to understand more
It may be too late presently for us
I still hold hope for you and I
If I cross your mind at all please can we just try?