last night i dreamed my memories
were lined in quills and nettles
soaking in jars of aloe
they played on underdeveloped
film stock, across slabs of barbary fig--
out in the desert
like a burning bush.

I stand, unbroken by weather.
Complete I am, I stand still against all, I stand against all.
Unmotivated by money, money I am unmotivated by you.

I stand, stand unbroken by time.
I am unmoved by love, love does not fuel me.

I am complete.
I am completely unbroken.

Unbroken, I am.

You look at me and
your smile
falters.
It should.

You left us.
I’m left
fuming
in disbelief.

What did you mean when you said
“Love”?
Now you ****** that word with cruel fists,
crushing it beyond recognition.

I glance away.
I’m standing in rubble,
silent.

Maybe I can handle a
S l o w
S t e a d y
D  e  c  a  y,

Can I handle the
sudden,
thoughtless detonation
of my one sanctuary?

Family.

I sift through the debris;
we are lucky.
Everyone survived.
But you should suffer
bitterly
for every bruise and wound
your twisted apologies left behind.

You know what the worst part is?
Every time I
see your face,
hear your name,
remember your embrace,
I miss you.
Terribly.

Writing for yourself is hard,
Writing for others i find easier.
All you need is there name and their eyes
and can imagine everything they hide inside.
For me i feel its harder, because i know what I'M hiding,
i know what scares me ,
I know what brings me to tears.
But someone else... someone else,
I can imagine anything,
i can see bright futures
and i can see hope,
All in the eyes of the being.
                                                           yours truly,
                                                                            . . .

i am sure she is
just as radiant in
the sunlight, without
trying, as herself
and you in the doorway
with a mouthful of her
name, light and lovely--

*new.

she lays limp upon the sea
foam mattress
gasping for air amongst the swarm
of tubes entangling around her body

i am across from her
a handful of popcorn held
together by a rubber band

is it within my own selfish desire
to keep my love afloat?
or shall i submerge
her gently into the ocean
of infinite nothingness
?

i open a poetry book
to softly narrate
her last words to her.

do not go gentle into that
good night.
old age should burn
and rave at close of day.

and as she slips away

rage. rage against the dying
of the light.

she tremors.

My heart decided for me
We were just kids
But my heart decided
That you were it

My mind was always smarter
I packed my things and went away
I looked into your baby blues and wondered at what I saw
Was there regret, or sadness, or pain?

Did you feel what I felt?
Did your heart decide for you?
Do you look around corners searching for a glimpse of me?
Do you drive by my home in hopes that I may be on the porch?
Do you dream of late nights spent in my arms?
Did you choose to listen to your mind?

You're something of an elixir for my heart
When I'm hurt my mind is flooded with you
Every time I quiet it, and go on, and love again
And hurt again, and live in our memories

Its hard to let go of something that never existed
Hard to tear your own heart to pieces
Hard to let go of what you never had
I love easily and quickly, but forget just as easily
Somehow I haven't forgotten you yet

Pray tell, my heart
Let me live and forget you.