Sometimes i force myself to cry,
so i don't drown in my emotions.
I pity myself until i am tired ,
then the nightmares come,
i dream of betraying you.

I haven't forgave myself.
I did not forget.
I was too young to understand,
the things i have done,
and what they meant.

I would never do it again,
never look the other way.
The words i say i will keep,
until God takes me away.

Will it ever be enough?
The life i'm willing to give to you?
Will my love be able,
for us to live this through?

i want to write my pain out,
but it won't drip through my pen
it's been stuck there for five years,
a rotting clot inside my head.

Who are the people who decide what is the beauty?
Who is the person who made suicides trend?
Who picks the standards for how i should dress?
Who chose the right amout of food i should eat?
Who says i should be as everyone else
And why are everyone turning that way?
Thank you but i have peace of my own mind, and i won't listen what you say.

Will my children, carry his DNA?

Nautilius is ready,
prepared as it can be,
searching for the lost Atlantis,
drowned in deep blue sea.

Memories go missing,
our smiles get broken,
we leave on purpose,
some words unspoken.

Dear daughter of mine,
i want to thank you,
for all the wonderful things,
that you have taught me.

Thank you for the sticky
chocolate kisses , the necklace
made of pasta and dental floss, for all
the hand made cards and flowers  picked from my garden.

you made me remember the way i was,
the way i danced in my room unhurt by the world,
the way i was falling in love with people i shouldn't,
the way i felt like the whole world was under my feet.

Oh deer daughter of mine,
i hope you stay the way you are,
my little girl with no worries and no pain,
with big mouth but with nothing smart to say.


I wish you the love that lasts forever ,
i want you to have a safe and loving home,
with good friends, and people who care,
i want you to feel the most wonderful things.

i wish for you to know what happiness means,
and that sometimes it comes only after pain.
I want you to know that everything has a price,
that you will eventually have to pay.

You'll learn that love is the most expensive thing,
and the cost is  your  time and commitment ,
And i will  teach you everything i can and know,
for the rest, i am sorry, but honey, you must do it on your own.

I wish you to be the best person you can
you have a lifetime of decisions that you'll have to make
so don't hurry to grow up, stay sweet as long as you can.

Our lips will fuse,
As our hearts collide.
You promised me love,
until the end of time.

The calculus was wrong,
because it did not explain,
How interstellar distance
is not that far away.

I started my day with a lollypop.
at first it was bitter,lime flavor,
with some sour aftertaste,
until i reached the sweet cherry center.
Unlikable until the very end.

I remember that you said something,
i remember the words rolling down my skin.
Like the water runs over the mill in a quiet  forest
i heard them echoing deep in my mind, years after you have told me.

My mind is racing as i sit,
wind is messing my hair around,
i wish i knew about your fingertips,
how then feel on my mouth.

my hair is red like a sun,
that dives right into the sea,
i want to show some good time,
i want to drown you inside me.

i've been looking through my window,
trying to find my way back home,
had a little bit too much to drink,
for a girl who sits alone.

i was laughing at some people,
my mom called and i had to lie,
and when you ask me how i'm doing,
i am doing hella fine!

A few raindrops fell on the ground,
and people are already depressed,
drinking bitter coffee solutions,
leaving for work in distress.

The wind is blowing, there's ice outside,
but it's not as cold as it's in your chests,
buy yourself some lovely mittens ,
and let your heart take some rest.

You put your hand on my chests,
And gently pressed your palm.
I felt you move my heavy doors,
As you found yourself inside.

It creeps slowly, my deep deep snow,
And my long red rubber boots.
My 2 feet long scarf is in a matching colour.
Here comes the wind that gently stings.

I put elbows on the apron of my window,
my head is gently leaned on my right palm,
i am breathing in a soft, cooled breeze,
it makes me feel comfortably numb.

I hear tender singing from my neighbors yard,
and a dog barking somewhere far far away,
i ran trough these fields when i was just a child,
with many friends that left in search of their own way.

I sit here catching the last few sun-beams,
before they dive behind the hill,
i will go on a walk with my old man,
talking about my childhood thrills.

The wind is softly blowing,
In the summer afternoon,
Sitting and hoping that,    
This whole life was a dream of you.

Drinking fruity nectar from flowers,
A Bee came in my garden without my permission,
I Irritated it so it would sting my hand,
Just so i can use the pain as cure for depression.

I tried not to end up, like,
one of those girls that only cry,
but i got myself wrapped in drama,
of fictional characters that always die.

I got my head up in the clouds,
waiting for someone to set me free,
to set the shivers down my spine,
so senpai, please notice me.

You see, i can tell you about:
the far away stars that wander through the space,
their speed, and movements and axes,
without seeing their true beauty and grace.

I came to study in great big city,
because they told me  i was smart,
playing games with big numbers,
only dividing myself apart.

I run and hide from people,
a few thousand light years away,
i'm only good with measuring the distance,
with things that wander and stray.

I ran through enchanted forest,
when i was brazenly young,
with my cold fast feet,
barely touching the ground.

The sun was playing childish games,
making various patterns through the leaves,
the wind was chanting forgotten songs
through souls of tall willow trees.

I was captured by this beauty,
by the solitude in which i roamed,
where ever i went away from this place,
i knew the road will bring me back home.

I think cried.
But not too much,
like most girls would,
Just enough
So you can see i cared,
Just a few tears to cover up,
One insignificant forever.

He couldn't love me the way he was suposed to. It took him years and a first heartbreak to understand the difference between lover and a friend. He laughed saying that i can't stop loving him. He was right at least about that.

I used him as a measuring tape for all the other lovers that came after.

I leave a trail of clothes
when i take a shower,
i tend to sleep in so if i could i'd
make it so that day has one more hour.

I try to say only the nice things,
but i'll always end up hurting someone.
In a relationship for 7 years,
I am really scared to mess it up,
Because i think that he is the one.

I wear my heart on a sleeve,
and i support gay rights,
because i strongly believe that,
love is love no matter what .

I cry for happy moments in movies,
i have a cat, and he is my best friend,
i have two plants that i forget to water,
i never follow fashion so i'm never in trend.

i am often scared but i never show,
because i am raised to stay strong,
So when i come home i weep alone.
I try to do all the right things,
but most of the times they end up wrong.

i have a roommate and she is nice,
a few friends that come and go,
i hope that someday i'll get married,
cuz i am scared of dying alone.

I decided to let you in,
in place where you lived once,
The doors are harder to open then before,
Because now they are locked up twice.

People pitty my lack of rest
But they know why i  don't even wink.
What if you came to find me,
And passed me by just cuz i blinked?

I felt you, the true you
Bruised, scared, broken,
I haven't seen him for a while
Since we left things unspoken.