the world only commits to one word
when no explination can show
the answer or
when not even bandaids
can clean up a mess
when the only things we have left may not hold off for long
the dust suffocating our throats and blinding our eyes
trying to reassure safety
to stop the fists from raising
and the children from crying for their parents
our minds being sliced away from
intelligence
from lies
with the knives of each other
maybe
maybe it is all just a dream that we won't wake up from
but maybe
this is reality
maybe they'll agree if i try
try
try
maybe
it wasn't meant to be
the word fills our mouths with the bitterness of what might happen if we say yes or no
maybe if we don't decide
it will all go away
maybe the answer isn't meant to be known
maybe they'll understand
maybe
maybe we'll understand that not answering isn't the answer to a problem
might
may
the only ones who use them are the ones who can't decide themselves
confused
wondering
waiting
for someone else
because
maybe they'll know how to fix this

maybe.

colors that seem to define us
filled with black holes of ignorance
the bullets racing to meet one another
only to shutter twice
and cackle as ours collide
mine flood out
tears of black ****** salt
fog covering up my vision
waiting for the storms to clear
and as soon as the sun returns the warmth to my face
your eyes have disappeared

black spaces
crawling across the palms
of my hands
i reach into the sink and try to scrub
them off
but tattoos can only be covered
by makeup
ink drips out off of my tongue
i cover my mouth
but it seeps through my fingers and
out onto your heart
burning away the veins and muscles
of your loved ones
poison in your vessels instead of
blood
i'm sorry,
i thought i was helping you
my ***** palms reach out to keep
you standing but you fell to
the ground
its like every time i try to hold you
up
you fall deeper into the salty
oceans of tears and waves of
sorrow
swallowing you up
my boat isn't strong enough
and it crushes you
every single time
i let my hand out and
open my mouth
the lies escape
along with the happiness
that never bloomed
maybe it's my fault
that you were desperate for help
in the first place.

battles of life
raged
in
depth
of him
pieces of a world he
fought with trying
to put together
a reason or answer,
ironically
building walls
of his own prison.

in a battle of hymns
synonymous lying
relying
on ***** thrusts,
deep fully orchestrated,
lutes and harps playing
the climbing cries to heaven,
four-part cacophonies
adapting Eastern chants
with Western modalities,
proceeding
altars, of which
ring with decepting cries
force a singular theme,
if not followed
your voice is heard in hell.

I keep being told
I need to be more positive
Can't you see that I am trying
I am honestly trying
But it's so hard
When all you can see
Is the dark in everything
Or those demons
That haunt your memories
It's so difficult
When your only enemy
Is yourself
And all of your doubts
Crowd your mind
It's really tough
When nobody can see
How much effort
You put into being happy
And always smiling
It's so hard
When they can't see
How much your trying
To be positive
*Honestly, I am trying