I just came from the cafeteria. In a shocking twist,
I have to actually meet people, I mean, can you imagine?
And we have group projects, my least favorite thing,
except perhaps, having a gym class.

The cafeteria was so crowded—didn’t I see you there?

Everyone there seemed to be wearing vintage Urban Outfitters.
I felt left out, but no one openly pointed at me.

Next, I expect to see bubblegum patch vests, skate-fit jeans and leopard-appliqué flats.

Between us, I’ve gotten old, and lost what little fashion game I had.
Now I’m modulated, that is, I’m over over-indulgence.

When I pictured myself in college, ***, what, a half a decade ago?
I imagined myself in a Lime Fizz Dress from Modcloth.
THAT never happened—which is all for the good.

School and by extension - school work - is definitely happening.
It’s not all studying while drinking back-to-back espressos at sunrise.

This week’s assignments due are: a ‘reflective assignment’ on qualitative research methods, a policy memo, a case analysis, and a group presentation. Argh.

So if you don’t hear from me—I haven’t been deported—I’m just oppressed.
.
.
Songs for this:
This is Why by Paramore
Lauren by Men I Trust
Margaret by Pomegranate tea [E]

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                         Pushing the Envelope

What envelope is being pushed?
From whom to whom – across the room?
And why should it be pushed at all?
Is the envelope an English A-1?
An American business-size?
A birthday check for someone to steal?
Pushing a broom, pushing a sale
Pushing a pen – some sense in those
But what is the purpose in pushing
An envelope?
                               And did you stamp it?

People are amazed when I levitate
Inquiring minds would like to know
How they too can bust a move
Clear their throat and start to float

What happens is most of the action
Comes from my ears and eyebrows
My knees start a slapping when I get them to flapping
In the direction of North to South

With the crossing of several fingers
Along with both my eyes
No longer a need here to linger
As I lift up towards the sky

The motorboat sound that comes from my mouth
Really isn't necessary
It just adds some pizzazz to the moment at hand
And lends to the fact of the extraordinary  

What's a trip like this without showmanship
To leave the crowds flabbergasted
When flying around, here and there, there about
Who among you would have guessed that

The best way to levitate
Is in the flapping of ears and eyebrows
With fingers crossed plus eyes at all costs
If you ever did doubt what it's all about

You're bound to find out this is the best way
If you ever do try and levitate...

there was a little butterfly sat upon my sill
sitting all alone sitting very still
he had colored wings very big and bright
the colors of the rainbow shining in the light

he sat there a while as peaceful as can be
staring through the window looking straight at me
then he spread his wings and he began to fly
up in to the air in to the bright blue sky

the lonely dont have love they all live alone
spend there life in solitude living on there own
to them it is there way love they just dont know
living in there hell there feelings they dont show.

staying locked away inside there lonely cell
no company to talk to they just sit and dwell.
love is just a stranger something they dont know
they live like a hermit inside there shell they go

it is such a shame it has to be this way
to them the thing called love is just a word to say.

God answers the prayers
I don’t remember praying.
My prayers are just stepping
stones to a better reality.
If I die this year I’d feel that
way about my last prayer.
My bitterness will stop injecting
itself into my fantasies.
My butterflies grow obese
because of the magic.
I’ll keep trying to grow
past all of this tragic.
I’ll stop living everyday as if
it’s  already the future.
It makes my Time Machine
into a ready guillotine.
My depression and happiness
hug for the first time.
They have not been intimate
long enough it seems.

I don’t want to die,
I want to cease to exist.
To never have been born
And never have lived
For my soul and body to disappear
For any memory of me to be gone
To dissolve into nothingness and
Never have been anything at all