she walks down the hallway
she is invisible
but if you take the time
to look into her eyes
you just might notice
the fiery sparks in her
sky blue eyes have faded
into nothing

she is nothing but a shell
of who she once was

i look into her pale blue grey eyes
they are lifeless
empty
hollow
vacant
nothingness
when did the passion and meaning
leave her to defend for herself
before when you would look into
those beautiful blue eyes
they would light up whenever she
smiled
laughed
joked
or even just existed
now it's like she's fallen off the face of the earth
leaving behind a fragile shaking body
with no remnants of the girl i used to know

soft brown hair
kind hazel eyes
warm ethereal soul

she always thought i was her angel
but maybe she is mine

a soft spoken voice always appears
when i’m at my breaking point
she whispers in my head
“take one more, it’ll be worth it”
i try to ignore her but she only gets louder
more aggressive
“you know you want this”
“you don’t want to feel”
“let me help you”
“i can take the pain away”
so i’ll take three more
in the hopes of you disappearing

before you i never knew
how it felt to be truly loved
unapologetically myself
you accept me for who i am
and i love you for all of your flaws
and all of your perfections

Both can ****
        The only difference is
                      Cigarettes shatter lungs
         She shatters everything

            I remembered the first moment
my lips pressed the filter
     as I lit it up breathed it all
                savored every smoke
       as if we covered up painful lies
        in a container of painkillers

The same way  
we used to pressed our lips
     sparked something between us
           savored every moment we had
    as if our love was a rose
               in a valley of tulips

Cold.

It was cold today.

       It is always cold.

Not outside
      
But in my soul.

I am the cold.

Frozen. Barren. Winter.


Waiting,
   For icy glaciers
   to warm up and melt away
        All the pale parts of me.

Waiting
   For little flowers
   to sprout up and peek out
        From my hungry bones.

I am cold.

I’m winter and waiting.

Longing for spring.

Longing for being.

In my frigid corpse.
                  

-JustHayy

let’s write poems
together
tell each other
secrets

stay up all night
it’s the only way
to keep it

let’s scrap book
forever
glue in
all the pieces

photograph
memories

rough-draft
remedies

the trials
and errors

The nows
and nevers

Let’s write poems
together
of life without
regrets

Abyss.

I heard you say

My name

I looked up

Expecting to meet your gaze

But they weren’t eyes.

They were oceans.

Salty Blues

Seaweed greens

A pale hint of sand

Cracking through the seams

Oh and the waves.

Pushing and pulling

Flooding my soul

Suffocating me

Stealing my breath

I didn’t even gasp for air

I just let go.

Drowning

Sinking

Dancing

Weightlessly

Floating through the abyss.

Waiting to be

Still forever

Finding rest

On the ocean floor.