Cold in the morning, warm in the night
Flowers in bloom, a beautiful sight
Skyscrapers and stadiums up, dilapidated apartments down
And no one seems to know their way around these highways
Bitten by panthers, stung by hornets
Digging for coal, but still finding love
A goldrush, a coin that someone had tossed
We send our hospitality to you
Spray cans in the night, a message in the morning
I only hope the words I say, say something to her
When the thing that we believe in, are things that we imagine
I imagine a king who wears a crown
The first time I lost, the first time I loved
The first man to play the way that he does, a warrior
Parking lots with sleeping cars, and highways full of life
And the mayor is at war with the state
Words I've never heard before, I couldn't know you and not love you
But somehow the dragon, he dances before we do
And all the kings men, London bridge is burning down
An invitation to a party
Just a state line, another division
That I'll never reach, when someone else does
A highway in the sky, a highway wrapped around the city
It could never take me where I need to go

His eyes would close, his empty coat
His pockets full with only holes
His mind filled with only hope
Not a sight his eyes have seen

He says he's looking for the queen
He wants to hear the princess sing
Bow to the king and kiss his ring
With the jester he will dance

And if you care to take a chance
Defy prevailing circumstance
And believe in his romance
His eyes would close, his empty coat

The mind a museum
Of sweet memory
Turned bitter
Relics that lost their meaning
And have no use any more

Its all just history now

With every new love we find
We find an example from the past
How even the age of reason
Couldn't find a way to last
For every Henry the eigth
There is a Queen Elizabeth
For every war on earth
There was a war in heaven

And I want my history to be
The pax romana
But my boundaries will cease to grow
And I know
If I want to be who I'm meant to be
I'll have to fight some more
I'll send my mental legions
To the fore

Because try as we might
In different lives
We've all been here before
It was always a lesson learned

I hold you in my imagination
I know
The only things
That ever became real
Were once merely dreams
There is no reality unless we make it be
And I'm making
I am the better part of creation
And even while I sleep
I still am working
My slumber unencumbered by my rest
I hold you in my imagination
You hold my heart
We'll hold each other
There is nothing left to believe in
Except for this

You know what is in your heart
The one you can't quit
No matter if he's been wrong before
If he hurt you
You hold to him in your heart
When your words say hatred
And your actions say stranger
But your eyes say love

You know what is in your heart
It was all the those days
Of peace and love
I heard you say
You hold him in your heart
And you can't let him go
You hold him in your heart
And you tell him to stay

You hold him in your heart
While holding your resentment
And your anger
And your fears of what will be
Well if you hold him in your heart
Hold to him outwardly also

Even in the darkness
I still hear a voice
Calling my name
I don't know much
But I still know
If I can follow it I'll find my way home

I made my home
And then I left it

I had to see the moon waxing
The horses breaking free from the chariot
I had to be
Something I wasn't

I gave my love
And then I lost it

I had to watch the winter descend
Because it is stark and cold and bitter
But I still think
Its beautiful

I made my home
And then I left it

Because the grass is always greener
On the other side of the fence
And the grass on the other side of the world
Must be made of gold

I made my home
And then I lost it

And I can't get back
The place I made my home

And even if I had a home
There is no place for me to go

Home and a golden arrow
A garden where summers fruit
Rots in the shadows
To think I had just yesterday

Hope and a singing sparrow
A bridge where my old best friend
Jumped into water
I can't look up to the sky anymore

Holes in a perfect stranger
A smile that could only hide
And never heal
To think I used to know you

I was always honest
I didn't know
How to be any other way

And I know you hate me
And that you don't see
I only want what's best for you

You were my world
Still are
I cannot be myself right now
I cannot love you like I should
You were me heart
Unbeat
But all the blood is me
And your names the drops I bleed
You were my hope
And I cannot forget
The way it made me feel
To hold hope close to my heart
You were my love
My words
My dream
My
Everything

Walking is going to be quite difficult now
Without the hope that I can take another step

The sky may not fall
But I watch it drop lower and lower
I think about horns
I think of the bull
His flesh rippling on the size of his muscles
Yellow eyed
Fire
the earthquake I can feel
Incoming
The trumpets blow
When I think about horns
I think of Gabriel
How many have set foot inside his vision
Merciful
Fair
The heavens I can feel
Incoming
He has you in his sight
Glaring you down with menace
The bull stomps the ground
The earthquakes
Angrily
Mean
The bull lowers his head
Incoming
When I think about horns
The sound of ten thousand trumpets
As the sky opens up
And light floods in
We've always talked about ascension
And we begin
Salvation

Peace

But only after the war
I think about horns
The sky may not fall
But i watch it get lower

How did I learn how to love?
It wasn't through life
It wasn't blind eyes and manic fingers
Selfish wants and angry desire
It wasn't through life
Life that teaches that nothing is known
And all you should feel
Is all that is cold
How did I open my heart?
It wasn't through trust
When ten thousand raging madmen
Were aiming at closed doors
With sharpened knives in hand
Ready to eviscerate
With smiling faces
How did I give you my grace?
It wasn't through need
I was always going to dance
Unseen my form and feet
While darkness in strangers eyes
Impart their hatred onto me
Ready for the throat
And hungry for blood
How did I learn to love?
Only because I was born a fool
And I learned the truth
Deep inside myself
How did I learn to love?
I learned to love because I must

Rip me now to shreds
If that's what you really want
I was always waiting for it anyways

How did I learn to love?
The answer was always known

How do I feel
When I find out what it really is?
How do the flowers grow?
I dreamt of intimate futures
Untangling roots and rope
Untying nooses

Now do the flowers grow?
They need the light, but

The light is a scary thing
It shows us the scars
On what we thought was beautiful
I dreamt of an ultimate forever
Light of the moon and stars
Illumating night

Now don't the flowers grow
I guess they don't

And in the light of day
When I was awaiting constellations
I could not imagine
The moon is new
And clouds cover up the stars
I'm left in bitter darkness

How do the flowers grow?
I don't really have to know

If they do or the don't
Its not really up to me
But even if I'll never see
I really hope they do

The night is frozen
ice beams shot at array
in all directions
from an unidentifiable
source, she is hunting
She is always hunting
She is always hungry

Me, in my own deprived
state have heard her call,
so heedless as I venture
to the field as willing
prey, She is hungry
She is always hungry
She is always hunting

I only wish
I knew what to say
In response
To the howl
Of the wolf

The hunger sated stomach
full as darkness fills
our uncompleted days
from an unidentifiable
source, she is hunting
She is always hunting
I bleed

I only wish
I can be so unforgiven
As my offer
From the gods
Unto the wolf

I can touch you now
The streets are places I walk in
Sometimes full of life
I can hear you now
The music is always playing
Sometimes beautiful
I can see you now
The mornings a painted landscape
Sometimes colorful
I can love you now
The heart is a vessel that carries me
Sometimes where you are

But for how long?
How long is now?
Is right now
All we have?
If right now it is ending
How long can I stay strong?

I can feel you know
That your skin becomes hateful daggers
Sometimes
Painful

The love I have is tainted
By the poison of the end
And my knowledge
That nothing lasts
Forever

How long do we have?
How long do I have?

How many times?
How may times will I see something tonight
That you don't see?
Ultimate truths
Every once in a while
Your gonna have a come down comes up
How many times will I see something tonight
That you don't see?
Probably as many times as I look
When you don't

We can see the art for what it is
What
It
Is
All these things we write
              Are merely cries for help
There
      Is
   Someone
We want to have hear us
                                        
                                                                ­                   Who
                                                             ­                    Doesn't
And we can look for
And never find
We can find a meaning
That isn't                                                            ­    Really
There
And this blind alliteration
These rhymes
This metaphor
Merely all devices
To show how much we                                       Care
Only hope
One soul can love enough
For all of those who don't
                             Or
A lost soul
Can
       Finally
                   Find
                           It's
Way
                                 Home

I actually had to look up have to spell it

I spelled it right

But when I read it back
It seemed wrong

Maybe some kind of symbolism involved?
An example of how much money matters to me

Did you ever ask yourself
"What am I doing?"
Did you ever figure it out?

How should I fight
To the bitter end?

I know how to destroy everything
Including myself
                                           But

Its not what I want
To be the fire to burn up the earth
To be the water to dampen the fire
To be the air

I only want to love you

How should I love
To the ruthless end?

A stone pillar in the desert
A statue where only the crow can sit

I find joy in my sorrow
Just that I can feel
Anything
At all
At least
I find pleasure in pain

I laugh at my demons
I shout into silence
I cry for my angels
I drown into flames
I shine into darkness

I burn with emotion

I find peace in suffering
Just another test
Everything
At most
I find I overcome

I speak to my ghost
I lean into shadows
I touch without hands
I drown into air
I shine into darkness

I burn with emotion

Don't be too smart
Or no one will understand you
Don't be misunderstood
Or no one will identify with you
Don't be unidentifiable
Or no one will really know you

And you'll be completely alone

I'm trying to change the world
And the only way I have found
Is by changing people

And even worse than that
You can only change one person at a time
And there are seven billion people

And the worst of all
Sometimes you try to reach someone
And they refuse to reach back

Wasted energy

Some people are just born blind
I guess

The first sentence catches your attention
By bold relevance
Still abstract enough
To make you want more
Then this sentence keeps you
By extrapolating on what was said before
The next sentence
A metaphor
Drawing parallels to the natural world
And end the stanza
With a line to draw it all together

Moving on to the bridge
Be musical
Play with the words
Be lyrical
Make a bigger point
By increasing the feeling
Im giving
And you are receiving

By now you are hooked

So it is time
For imagery
For color with meaning
For energy with feeling
And I can say what I want
How it needs to be said

And my truth will be accepted

I don't know how to love
Except the way I love
When a child is with his mother
A wide-eyed witness
To the gravity of the moon
And the rising tides of the sea

And spring now is coming
We can stop the birds from singing
Poison all the seeds
And keep the flowers from blooming
But nothing is going to keep
The seasons from changing

I don't know how to love
Except the way that I love
When the embers of the fire smoulder
And the lover becomes a fool
Still reaching for something
That causes him pain

You heard duke Ellington on the radio
Eight years old
Just another example
Of a childhood event
Changing a person
Who changes the world

And your music was groovy
It was familiar, yet experimental
Precise
Yet completely different
Your music informs you
As you form your sound

Precise
But emotional
And driven by feeling

And all the times
And all the tunes
And all the beautiful art
Still my favorite thing about you

The angry man of jazz
Taught me how to train a cat
To use a toilet
True story

I'll never give up
On something I love
But I'm divided
Undecided
Perplexed
Just plain confused

I feel I should give up on humanity

I don't know that I can

Thirsty
Slice of water
Ice cubes
Cool dudes
New shoes
Salamander
Hungry
Well I guess
Whatever it takes
To hit the spot
Spiritually
And physically

We can make each other happy
We can make each other hurt
Its not like the moon decides to be full
But aren't we something more?
Seeds that grow in the soil
Sprouting from the dirt
The roots taking hold
Becoming mythical flowers

Because we can make each other hurt
But wasn't the hyacinth born
From the blood of loss
From apollos fallen friend
And as the blood hit the earth
And the god of music wept
Blooms sprang forth
An eternal memorial

Still we can make each other happy
We can reach for the sky
To the helping hands from above
We can show each other love
And feel the peace
The cosmic consolation
The sky for which we reach
Can be filled with stars

There is one nothing I can't stand
Whether it speaks from a TV screen
Or from a pulpit
There is one nothing I can't stand
And that's a hypocrite

I want to be a sparrow
Not a worry in the world
Just a song to sing
A song of vacillating notes
That comes as natural to me
As breathing

I want to be a sparrow
But instead I'm a crow
Cawing calling to the night
Not a beautiful song with stacatto notes
No music for the soul
But a warning

I am a crow
I am not beautiful
I am not lovely
I am not something lovers write about
Only mythology
A stigma surrounding
A mystery
When I long to be understood

I want to be a sparrow
Because people understand them
A dove, a pigeon
A bird of paradise
An eagle, a hawk
A falcon
But I'm a crow
Misunderstood

I am nothing more to give
I've painted the sky the color of your eyes
And etched into stone your name
Blood of my veins
My love
I am nothing more to give
I've ripped half-drunken at clouds
And spelled your dreams with stars
Heart of my heart
My love
My life
I laid it all down
On the line and at your feet
I sacrificed my skin
My salvation and my sin
I gave it away
All that I feel
That is real
Until now it's no longer me
My fingertips
My heartbeat
My emptiness
The way it is
I am nothing left to give

Maybe the wave
I ride upon
Began somewhere in the middle
Of an ocean
Maybe it will crash into the shore
Breaking violently into foam
And destroy me
Leaving me dying on the beach

With the sand in my hair
And the stars in my eyes
As the tides moving out
I am reborn

It was only water
I rode upon
Water from eons before
Manifesting as my physical being
Becoming me as it crashes onto the rocks
And the reaction
Is now a story unto itself
A part of my life before

When the wind changed directions
The direction lost its meaning
The tide rolls away from me
And I am reborn

I don't know how it could be
I only understand that it is
That's enough for me
I still am going to love

I don't know when the change
I only saw it later
When it is too late
I am still going to love

I am the water
I drown in
I am the rapids
With white violent foam
I am the tides
Sweeping away from the shore
I am the water
You swim in
Never knowing
How deep I am
The way I provide for life
Or promise death
I am the water
That falls from the clouds
I am the water
From drying out pools
I am all of it
I am the flood
To quench your thirst

Blisters and the sunset
Run if you can
Worlds and art and words and heart
I am what I believe
And me
And I

Roses on the hillside
Rest if there's peace
Pain and joy and loss and love
I am what I believe
And I
And me

And I see suns catching fire to the meadows
Fire without light
Rage on into the darkness
And burn
And me
Completely in the mire
Still holding palms skywards
Feel because you are alive
Love is not lost
Even if its gone

Love
And I

I am what I believe

I could not be a stranger to you
Our story becoming lore, and dinosaurs
Our bones in the ground still telling stories
Still loving each other after all the skin is gone
You are my imagination as a child
The way the sun shines music on my skin
And all I hoped for in my darkest hours
Was the moment I met you
So hold my hand and make me see
Become the path I walk
My future and my history
My destination

A stranger life I never knew
A life I never knew you
We live a life

We couldn't  ever be strangers
Because with your fingers I touch
And with your skin I feel
And with your most beautiful eyes I see
The world as it should be
Where my arms will hold you
And my chest where you lay your head
You become my heartbeat
So hold my hand and don't let go
Hold my hand because its your own
And everything you've seen
Has always been a part of me

We could never be strangers
I loved you before I met you
I am you

White
Refracted rainbows
Symbol of light
I hold in my soul
Black
The lack of all color
Black and black only
Most of her life

I asked my love her favorite color

The reds and the blues
She loved as a child
The royal purple
The forest green
I woke up from a dream
Where a man was telling me
That love is all you need
To be happy

I asked my love her favorite color
And she said that she had none

I bleed
I leave bloodstains on everything
And when you love me
And then learn to hate me
Because then stains you can't remove
Become a memory
Of the times when you were wrong
When you knew what was right
And the demons on your shoulder
Spoke much louder than me
Because angels do not fight
They only show you light
In the hope that you will follow

And you can think
I wasn't strong enough
All my weakness
Was only meant to show
That the choice is really yours
And if I should lose
And watch you fall to darkness
I'll be a god
Who is forsaken once again

I bleed
And no matter intervention
Of the most divine source
I can only hope you believe

In the royal blood

I bleed

Fire! Fire!
Of longing and desire
That which burns the strongest man
To ash

Jaws! Jaws!
The gnashing hellish teeth
That which destroys the strongest soul
To bits

When I see the smoke,
I must breathe it in
Even if it suffocates
And blackens my lungs

Fire! Fire!
I cannot fear the flame
My only choice is to hold it in my hands
Or die.....

Don't the storms rage for awhile
Before falling back into the sky?
The terror and hope of living
The way we force a meaning

Doesn't my heart still beat
In a cavity disguised by skin?
The fear of what is love
And how we feel it

I would say
I will remember you
But I can't......
To remember is to try and hold on,
To forget

I cannot forget

Don't the clouds still speak your name
When I look to the sky for peace?
And all the blues reach deeper hues
And color means more to me

Doesn't my mind still form images
That paper can't contain?
No stenciling hand of man
Can shape such beauty

I would say I will remember you
But I cannot forget
I will always love you......
I showed my scars
And you showed your heart

It was the only truth I've ever known

I can only guess.....
That the universe has a plan
The stars we come from repeating many times in different forms
The dust we were
The dust we'll be
And a river of time that at least in this reality
We swim
We swim or drown

It's all us

I can only guess
What constitutes poetry
The words that mean everything can be the simplest of nothing
The words obtuse
The words straightforward
As long as what is said brings with it meaning
We read
We read to feel

It's all art

I can only guess
What love is made of
The love I feel when it will only bring me pain
The love I don't have
The love I should know
But I try to define what can't be described
Looking for meaning
Losing the feeling

Its all been

I can't believe it comes to this
Impasse
The other side too far to reach
The chasms stretching before me

I can't believe it is this way
I can speak
But no one hears what I say
The sound of love grows ever silent

I took one step at a time
Whatever direction
It led me to this
The edge of a cliff

And there are no more steps that I can take

I can't believe it came to this
Where the distance between
Where I am
And where I want to be

Is infinite

Be what you want from me
Stay with me awhile
I can't love
Until I see your smile

A million years
A million miles of netherworld
A million tears
A million stars I'll never hold

And I still can't stop loving you

A million sunsets
A million waning moons
A million scars
A million self inflicted wounds

And I still can't stop loving you

Icarus will learn
To not fly too close to the sun
Only when the beads of sweat
Are mixing with the melted wax
Dripping down his youthful back
Icarus will learn
To not fly higher than he should
Only when his fragile wings
His hopes and dreams have failed him
And he is falling from the sky
Icarus will learn
Of this I'm sure
But he'll only learn
When it's way to late
And the mistakes he made
Can't be fixed
Icarus will learn
But it won't matter