Amber: Favorites

Midnight has called
Me to sleep but
I fight it

This heat
Emanating
Through my skin
I despise it

Two mice
Scatter away
Through darkness
I'm jealous
of them

Midnight has called
But you haven't
Answered my calls
I have to
Accept it

Midnight has gone
And the rising sun
peaks through a red sky
I stare
right at it

The morning sun
Finds its resting place
And shines through my curtains
Leaving me
Exhausted

#poetry #poem

Feb 2019 Amber

Dear Anxiety

Feb 2019 Amber

Starving Artist

Dear Anxiety

Get out of my life.
Leave me alone.
I'm tired of you constantly adding unneeded stress,
Telling me I'm not good enough,
Digging up these sickening insecurities,
And ruining my friendships.
I may not be good at anything.
But I still deserve to live a happy, normal life.
So just go away.
I no longer will stand for the constant
breakdowns in the car,
attacks in the classroom,
freakouts on vacation,
And the panicking while I'm trying to rest.
I want to be happy.
I want my friends.
I want what you stole from me.
I want my old life back.
And if you don't leave willingly then I will do everything in my power to rid you from my life.
Because
I
DON'T
WANT YOU!

Sincerely,
The happy child you buried in your shadow.

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and somethimes, they win. ~Stephen King

Feb 2019 Amber

Lost.

Feb 2019 Amber

Starving Artist

Lost.

"They never knew what they had until they lose it."

But what if I did?
What if I knew exactly what I had?

I tried so hard to hold onto it because I could never find something like that ever again.
I wanted it to last.
But I guess it was never up to me.

Isn't that worse?

Knowing what you had and it leaving anyways, despite your best efforts.
Knowing that you weren't enough to make it want to stay?

Isn't that what heartbreak is?

Feb 2019 Amber

Mute.

Feb 2019 Amber

Starving Artist

Mute.

I wish you wouldn't speak.

Every time you open your mouth your words intoxicate my mind.
They roll right off your tongue and right into my system.
I get drunk off your words and you take advantage of me.
You use these spells to entrance me into doing whatever you want.

But eventually, I sober up.
I realize the damage that has been done.
You smooth-talked your way into my heart.
There's no easy way to kick this addiction.

I wish you wouldn't whisper these lies in my ears.
I wish you didn't make me feel so dependent on these doses of you.

I wish I could get over you.

I wish you were mute.