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 Apr 2014 Tommy Johnson
Mel Ave
I want to tell you something,  
it's a story, a few words about how I got where I am today.  
It started with a touch, from myself,
The real me;
someone I don’t know anymore.

it hit me in the chest and it travelled though my veins
And it's become one of my nick names .
Sometimes I lay down at night and laugh at how much I hated myself .
I wanted to charge this and that,
And I changed all of myself and more to come.

I can tell you that I broke my own heart more times than anyone has and that anyone will.
But then I meet this boy  and he changed my life.
He once told something along the lines of "you have to fight to love yourself; it'll be hard but I'm sure you will"
So here I am fighting.

I might fall and tremble but I swear I’m trying to stop hating myself.
I'm trying to let go.

The day I do,
I will scream at the top of my lungs,
Because I'm not a forest fire but I'm the forest itself.

And so are you.
I love the way your eyes sparkle with life
Every time I look into them;
Reborn from the ashes of lost love,
Is a newfound spark—hope;
That there can be a future again.
That someone can accept everything you are;
Regardless of the flaws, the insecurities—
See you in your most vulnerable state;
But never judge. Simply listen;
Take in what you have to offer,
Because love does not ask for perfection.
It’s the stroke of your hand on my cheek;
The gentleness in your voice as
Your shining eyes stare into mine—
Asking to see everything hiding inside.
All my thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears;
Until I have nothing left to hide.
Emotionally and physically naked
I stand before you; completely exposed—
But I am not afraid.
And it is in this moment;
I realize I have never been more complete;
This moment is love.
 Apr 2014 Tommy Johnson
Saint Ozz
Drip drip drip
The sunset cracked the surface of her permafrost heart
Drip drip drip
The candlelit feast fed the flames of the passion denied
Her heart as fossil frozen away and yet the smell of summer experienced
Seeped deep into her countenance and so it was the melting of the snowman
Drip drip drip
His touch pierced the outer wall
Her lips freed to his drip drip
Her hands held in passion drip drip
The melting of a permafrost heart
A little from the edges freed then more and more breaking fee
To beat free from bonds of frigidity
And so the ice melted piece by delicate piece
The woman fossilized, the man rebuilt in heat of a summer.
A short poem about letting ago, you know releasing the sphincter a little
Tears!born on pains spell
pearls born! Pained shell
Sparkling eyes tears wet
dew drops petals met
Melting heart tears flow
In joy tears glow
Tears emotions to measure
a drop of tear heavens treasure
not be afraid to cry
tears of heart seldom dry
We are beautiful contradictions.
Living, while dying,
and rarely satisfied with either.
 Apr 2014 Tommy Johnson
g clair
a throughbred ran
leaping over wood hurdles
confident he could.

an old mare ran
stopped just short of the hurdle
apathy and fear.

a pony tail ran
just clearing the wood hurdles
feeling like a horse.

a young white horse ran
"now just hold on there Wilber
not all horses jump."
Nonsense poems
Bad at following
rules;
even God's laws,
I've broken
all.
Why dwell on the comfort
Of dusting off the adversity
That profane the corners
Of our compartments

When we can
Call upon courage
And write for those
Without the strength to crawl out
Of the hollow caves
They live in?

               You
                  And
                    I
Are blessed with the curse of
Seeing beyond the masquerades
Of others
That it becomes haunting not
To tap into their souls

And wander in the
Caves of their minds
To find the reason behind
The warped interior,

The vague, and sometimes
Vivid Answers to
           Why
They're sinking in
Self imposed darkness,
      
          
They feel they're slaves
To and in liberation,

        
They feel they can't be forgiven
For the sins they
Unintentionally created,

      
They feel so empty and hollow
And dead within that there's
Nothing, but dead spaces
Between heart beats,
  
        
They're engulfed in
Flames that they're turning
Everything they caress to ash

With every bit of
                 Taste,
                 Touch,
                 Smell
                
Lulling us into euphorias
Where fragments of
             Sound,
               Images,
                 Fragrances,
                  Thoughts,
Compound to a jungle of words
That we lose ourselves in,
Perhaps then,
We become a tad bit closer
To finding
Ourselves,
Perhaps.
The second verse was adapted from Nat Lipstadt's 'An Intimate Courage'

And this is my cheap attempt at saying we've got purpose, maybe.
Darling I can tell you haven't slept,
Much since that last cup of tea.
I remember you saying it burnt like tequila,
And now I know why.

Darling I see the scars you cut,
In the space between your heart and your soul.
I know how it hurts,
To have them separated so.

But darling I can't help with your wounds,
I know so little of how to heal,
Self made wounds, though I have one to match,
I didn't make the incision, though I held the knife.

Darling you cut me so deep,
I think I lost my soul.
But sadly I still have my heart,
Scarred from the incision you made.
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