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 Mar 2015 tiniestseed
Molly
You were in my dream last night and I think we were in love and my head didn't hurt anymore and suddenly I remembered how it felt for my chest cavity to be full of something other than steam and I swear to God it was real, I could feel your heartbeat while you slept but still I woke into a dark room and let the world slowly come back to me and I don't know how but that illusion felt more real than my life has for a while now and I started grasping for someone on the couch next to me only to find I was alone, and I keep waiting for someone to tell me to calm down, that this is all a bad dream, I keep hoping I'll wake up and this will all seem foggy and distant because last night couldn't have been in my head, I could feel your heartbeat while you slept.
oh jesus you **** with my head
 Mar 2015 tiniestseed
fdg
Untitled
 Mar 2015 tiniestseed
fdg
you've given me good memories in backseats
(we're getting good at 'being bad')
we could get into actual trouble
and i'd still do it all over again tomorrow
you are not delicate.
when your flesh bruises, when your bones break, when your head aches, when your lover leaves, you will carry on.
there is a reason tears do not burn skin.
your muscles were made to lift your heavy heart and leaden legs.
you were made to carry on.

so when he tells you "i don't love you anymore," your bones will not allow you to collapse, your muscles will carry you forward. there is a reason your eyes are in the front of your head. don't look back.

you will not break.
you are not a cheap manufactured toy.
you are an exquisite human being hand-crafted by the likes of god.
your weak joints cannot be snapped.
you are made of blood, sweat, and tears and you are resilient.
your heart will not break. the average human heart heart has over 2 billion beats in it. until you are old and wrinkled, your heart will be there, ba-thum, ba-thum, reminding you that yes, you are alive, you are so alive.

your bones don't break on a nightly basis.
a force of 1,700 pounds per square inch is required to fracture a femur, and yes, i know his words felt like punches, but your ribs are quite alright.

i know that your past sits on your shoulders, i promise that you were made to bear its weight.

your heart strings are made of solid steel and though you may not have an iron grip, you learn to catch the curveballs. i promise.

so no, you will not break.
you are not delicate. you are strong, you are beautiful, you are unique.
you will not break.
you will endure
don't give up
Spinning like a ghost

on the bottom of a

top,

I'm haunted by all

the space that I

will live without

you.
Thinking hard about you
I got on the bus
and paid 30 cents car fare
and asked the driver for two transfers
before discovering
that I was
alone.
Oh, Marcia,
I want your long blonde beauty
to be taught in high school,
so kids will learn that God
lives like music in the skin
and sounds like a sunshine harpsicord.
I want high school report cards
to look like this:
 Mar 2015 tiniestseed
Gadus
If forever is just a glimpse,
would you stay with me?

Counting lions in the field.
Watching their manes propel
like toy choppers in the spring

I wanna be your fun thing.          

Sometimes I wish I didnt have to apologize for being trampled,
but hell, im just a gazelle.    

Breeding, grazing, breathing, seething.
Feeling dog days in heat,        
rolling feats so splendid sweet.
 Mar 2015 tiniestseed
authentic
I will still write poems about you
Even if I do not speak to you out of fear I will love you again
Even if I look away when I see you out of the corner of my eye
Looking in my direction with the hope I will turn to you
I won't
Even if the rate of my heart outruns my mind and I want to call you
I won't do that either
Because I am coming to realize that waiting on someone to love me
Is like having a noose around my neck and a stool beneath me
But I am choosing to life my feet from it, hanging myself
Putting myself through torture with hopes you will lower the rope
But you never will
So I am standing up, I am saving myself from falling into you
I will not wait around for someone who is waiting for someone else
I will not be the second choice
Even if you never come back to me
I will still write poems about you
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