i could listen to the sound of
your heart beating
like i never stopped listening
to the top track
of my spotify playlist
i created when
i think of how
my vanilla scented neck
mixed with the smell
of your waxed brushed hair.

you held her like champagne glass
interpolated her with fake intentions
just as how you strategically poured in
your favorite drink not as close to the brink
you knew that every element of her
is delicate, fragile and vulnerable
same as the glass’ gleaming curves,
your face reflected on its surface
just as how you were mirrored
indulging in her caress
from your nape down to your
broad in denial shoulders,
and then you took a sip
took another, enjoyed every moment of it
like how your tongue played with her lips
silenced her mouth while her ears paid attention
to the sound of your breath;
it always tasted sweet,
day by day you craved for it
but suddenly everything turned sour
her heart that was glass
you just dropped without warning
fragments of her were scattered on the cold floor
like trash laying down, abandoned, abhorred
you asked yourself
should you clean up the mess you’ve made?
one step forward, three steps back
you’re indecisive
back and forth like the swaying pendulum
but you just barged out and never took a glance back
left her in broken pieces
wished you could pick them up even if it means
you’ll cut yourself from the shards and make you bleed
because once in a while she used to let herself wound
what's almost been healed,
let those thorns from your numb heart
pricked her again and again
and bled for you, nevertheless, until the end.

that wasn't internet love
we weren't lovers
we could never be
we just talk over the encrypted airwaves
like chatty strangers meeting for the first time
at the grocery line
i'm always the one who tends to overshare
you always listen to all of my rants and woes
at 3am in sync with the echoing cuckoos
i know all of my telltales were like how songs
are played on repeat by a teenage avid fanatic
and by that you might just think i'm kinda lunatic
but i'm just a sad, sad girl
in need of a vent buddy
a friend, someone who never leaves
and you were there to fill up the role as what it seems
like a hero, a knight in shining armor
so i'm sending a million thanks, you've served my favor
and i hope you're doing great, wishing you all the best
oh God, how grateful i am that you exist
thank you for plugging in and staying up until 3am.