it was a bittersweet two months with you
i still think of you whenever i take the 5:30pm bus ride home
you and me seated side by side at the spot i always choose
it was never the grandest of dates
because we never went out and stare at each other
across coffee tables
but it was one of the cutest romantic meetups i could ever consider
you always hold my hand
you always wanted to hold my hand even if it's sometimes sweaty
we talked about how our day went
like how crazy it was at work
or how ******* tiring it was to go to work
you're always the one who's chatty
the last time i remembered, you have so many stuff you wanted to buy
i could never forget how you have a funny obsession with pens
or how you're so picky with comfort rooms
or why you sleep late during fridays
because you're either watching a movie or gaming
it was more of a get to know you, than a get to know me
you never got to know me
because if you did, you're not going to stop
knowing me is unstoppable, addictive
but you never tried
and that's what left me scarred.

i know what you like
girls with their backbones shown off
curves trailed in their silhouettes, perfect
tops cropped, bottoms stripped
cherry lips, glass skin, white as porcelain
a sight you always imagine;

but,

i wish you would also like
girls with their bare faces in the mirror
curves scribbled with their pens as thoughts deepen
tees vintaged, bottoms unstripped
chapped lips, scarred skin, mosaic heartbreaks
a sight that also sees you beyond and between.

i crave for you like coffee
i want you creamy, sweetened
but i’d still like you black, bitter
awaken me with your aroma
let me take a sip of your innocence;

but,

i want you more than caffeine
i want to feel you in my veins
and, i think you could be my serotonin
stabilize my mood and my well-being
keep me in your sight, keep me sane.

remember all the ride home,
i’m behind you, looking up at the skies
trying to hide all the feelings inside,
trying to utter a sound,
trying to get a grip of what should be
in store for us;

remember all the sneaking out,
i wait for you, or sometimes you wait for me
trying to stay dead silent as possible,
trying to pretend we don’t exist,
trying to be real for you, but you never
want me to;

remember all the sneaking in,
your face at the front door, mine pretentious
trying to be awake ‘til midnight,
trying to keep you in my sight, but you let loose
of this thread i’m binding you;

remember all you did, and you said,
just want to forget, just want this to end
trying to dump all the thoughts i had about you,
trying to not to hold on anymore,
trying to remember what it was without you,
so then i could be brand new.