I break the things I touch
I hurt the ones I love
I stab my friends repeatedly
I'm a bad person, don't you see?

I remember when I would help with dinner at my grandparents house.
My grandpa would always have me cut up vegetables.
He always told me I was holding the knife the wrong way, he didn't want me to hurt myself.
He would hold my hand and help me cut the vegetables so I would learn.
Well now that I'm older I dont need help.
Now that I'm older I avoid dinner.
I know how to hold knives.
The difference is that now I don't care how I hold it.
I am so careless.
Cause when I put it to my paper skin and watch the Ink fall out I just keep thinking about how my grandpa would remind me to hold it right so I don't cut myself and he would put his big hand over mine and show me how to do it the right way so I don't hurt myself.
But grandpa  now that I'm older that's all I use knives for.

Oh how the lies spring sweetly to my lips,
and the falsehoods fly from my fingertips.
Oh how easily I hide behind a screen,
and know that my tears can’t be seen.
Oh, how the words just fall into line,
as I lie, “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

On one side there’s fear.
Fear that I’ll die alone
fear that I’ll fall
fear that I’ll fail.
On one side there’s hurt.
Hurt that I’m forgotten.
Hurt that you’re not.
Hurt that I’m ignored.
On one side there’s joy.
Joy at some praises.
Joy at kind words.
Joy I can’t enjoy.
On one side there’s frustration.
Frustration I can’t articulate.
Frustration I can’t fix.
Frustration I can’t escape.
And I’m all boxed in.

****.
I’m not good enough, am I?

****.
I don’t care enough, do I?
****.

I’ll never be enough, will I?

Because even the loudest lyrics
Cannot drown out the pain

"I just don't fit in,"

​I'm better off dead

"It's just a scratch,"

It hurt and it bled

"I'm just a little tired,"

I'm trying not to cry

"I'm fine, I promise,"

*I just want to die.