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Nov 2020 · 137
to the one that got away
i got my heart broken again
but this time it didn't crumble
the way it did when i lost you
i might have cried a bit
but not enough to drown me
like it did when you left me astray

how long has it been?
i haven't written anything since
i thought i had buried every memory i had with you
but it still haunts me to this day:
all the things lost,
all the things that could have been

i just want to say that i miss you,
and that I still think of you everyday.
you always cross my mind
but i know that you'll never remember me again.
i wish you happiness for always
and i wish i could find joy in love again, too

the kind of love that i found in you - if not better
you let me be myself around you
you accepted my quirks, all the craziness I had in me
'til it made you hate me
the way i hated myself.

I hope that you never got away.
to my totga, hope you are living your best life right now :)
Jul 2016 · 728
Drought
My heart feels heavy
I want to cry out.

I wait for the tears to come
But there were none.

Can someone fix me?
Turn me back to the way I was.

The one who felt and accepted pain
Because now I've become too numb.
I guess I am broken beyond repair.
Jun 2016 · 596
Why?
Why is it so easy to remember what we shared,
yet so hard to forget you.

Why was it so easy for you to leave me,
when all I wanted was for you to stay.

How can you fall in love again so easily,
while my heart continues to break.
im back. sorta.
Oct 2015 · 891
Ironic
those moments that I'll treasure forever
are mere memories
you'll never even remember.
Jun 2015 · 385
Untitled
You fixed this broken heart
only to have it shattered once again.
You made me believe in forever
but now it seems that i cant love another.
I knew the truth
I was afraid to admit it

But now I know
I was only an experiment.

I hope you are happy with the results.
Jan 2015 · 2.4k
Black Hole of Love (10w)
Whenever one tries to leave,
They get ****** back in.
You came during the darkest of days,
Became the calm in the storm,
The rainbow after the rain.

Tonight as I lie awake in the dark,
My mind is filled with thoughts of you.
In my life you've left your mark,
I hope your feelings are true, too.

I felt everything and nothing all at once.
You became the center of my universe,
A dream come true.

Yours is the kiss that awakens the soul,
Yours is the hand that fits mine best,
Yours is the smile that makes me feel whole.

You are the one I cherish the most.
It doesn't make sense. And yet it does.
You make me the happiest and the saddest.
You are a code that's difficult to decipher,
A puzzle that has it's missing pieces.
You are the source of my strength, and you are also my weakness. A cliche I guess.
But you are unlike the others
Jan 2015 · 708
Recollection
i tried to recall
my youth
the time when
i wasnt aware
of the cruel things
that was lurking
in this world

i tried to recall
the last time
when my mother
told me a story
or sang me to sleep
as she tapped my arms
and hugged me

i tried to recall
the time
i last shared
a laugh with my father
i miss the times
when he took care of me
when I was sick
and when he'd
feed me

i tried to recall
the moments
when our life
was much simpler
i felt pain in my chest
my eyes stung
as tears started falling
and my heart
kept on breaking
I wish I could go back
Jan 2015 · 1.2k
Another Restless Night
your fingertips are like needles
prickling my tender skin
creating invisible wounds
unseen for only I
can feel their painless tingle
leaving an imprint of you
that only I can experience.

the image of you intensifies
everytime I close my eyes
how I wish to feel you near me
cradling me like a baby
watching me as I fall asleep.

when our hands are intertwined
as if neither wants to let go
everything else fades
I feel contentment within
only your existence matters.

but time does not allow it
destiny agrees
to be apart we must be
even if only for a while
distance is painful
but nevertheless I wait
to see your face once again
as I plant a kiss
on your smiling lips.
Jan 2015 · 285
Untitled
Whisper you mean it
Say you'll stay
Hold my hand 'til brighter days
Jan 2015 · 299
Untitled
Days of darkness
I thought have long ended
The journey to madness
In this world I have burdened

Melancholy has consumed me
The storm brewing inside
Has gotten stronger, can't you see?
The damage done, one cannot hide.

Send comfort, build a shelter
For someone who is lost
Build something better
Than what was destroyed, no matter the cost.
Jan 2015 · 1.2k
Lips to lips
'twas a kiss that ignited
the spark that was formed
when you and I had first met
Jan 2015 · 339
Untitled
Love yet indescribable
has various meanings

Love although unseen
can be shown
and expressed
in many ways

however

*it still isn't enough
when will something ever be enough?
Jan 2015 · 846
To Be
Bewildered.
You caught me off guard,
I fell for you unexpectedly.

Bewitched*.
There's something in your eyes,
That makes my knees go weak.
To B :)
Jan 2015 · 3.8k
Oxymoron
You are an oxymoron;
happy and sad,
bittersweet,
a fine mess,
and clearly misunderstood.

Being with you
is sweet torture
that leaves me
wanting more.
its been a while
Mar 2014 · 555
Once More
kiss me once more
with the same intensity
and gentleness

hold me once more
wrap your arms around me
as i wrap mine around you

sing to me once more
and i'll be singing with you
even though we're out of tune

hold my hand one more
fill the spaces
between my fingers

lie with me once more
let the silence consume us
make me feel safe

let me listen to the beating of your heart
that was awaken by me
for the guy who came into my life so unexpectedly. whatever this is, we'll make this work. thank you for making me feel this way. it may all seem too fast, but we'll make it last.
Mar 2014 · 407
Imprisoned
I cannot escape the blinding light that’s creeping from the windows of this hollow room.
I have been lying in this wretched bed for what feels like an entire lifetime.
I cannot seem to leave this horrible place.
I am trapped.

My wrists are bleeding.
I have been trying to remove the chains that are strongly clasping my wrists but I am unsuccessful.

I haven’t eaten anything yet.
I am extremely famished.

My throat has gone dry. I cannot utter a single word.
I tried to scream, but not a single whisper escaped from my mouth.

I am afraid.
I keep on seeing things that seem to be non-existent.
Have I gone mad?

I see a man’s face.
He seems awfully familiar.
I cry.
I feel an excruciating pain inside my chest.
The man smiles at me.
I instantly feel calmer.

He places his hands on my cheek and I feel a desperate need to reach out and touch him.
I can’t.

He disappears.
I feel a great emptiness inside of me.
He has left me, again.

Again?
I don’t understand.

I remember being in his arms.
I remember myself laughing at his jokes.
I remember resting my head on his shoulders.
I remember…

We were happily chatting on our way here, our hands were clasped.
Suddenly his mood changed as we got closer to this awful place.

He looked me in the eye and said that we needed to talk.
What did I do?

I felt my heart stop as he told me that he was leaving me.

NO! I shrieked.
I cannot stop the tears from running down my cheeks.

I pushed him away as he tried to touch my face.
He took a step back.

Don’t leave me… I begged.

But he wouldn’t listen.
He’s gone.


He has left me here.
But he visits me a lot. Ha-ha.
He couldn’t stand being away from me.

But he doesn’t stay too long.
And for that, I am sad.

I could only catch a glimpse of him.
I often forget who he is but I will always remember.

I have gone immobile without him.
I haven’t moved a single muscle since the day he left.

I am paralyzed.
I am stuck here at the exact same spot where he left me.

He has left me torn and incapable of feeling.
I love him, yes.
But I never told him how much I do.

I try to break the chains that bind me to him.
I can’t.
Each day that passes-the more it tightens its grip on me.
The more I struggle to get free, the stronger it becomes.

The more I bleed, the more I crave for his presence.
The more I bleed, the more I know he is gone.

The more I try to forget him, the weaker I become.
The more I push him away, the closer he gets.

I am confined to this place.
His aura continues to wash over me.
I cannot escape.

Help me.
Please.
I am trapped.
Wrote this along time ago for someone I used to love more than anything. Finally I'm free from you.
Mar 2014 · 1.4k
Inability
one thing
i've noticed
about myself
is my inability
to say
'I love you'
correctly, seriously.

and in those moments
when i am lost
in those eyes
soft lips
i want to say it
but i dont
have the courage
to do so

because i might laugh
or make a goofy face
and in the end
you might end up
not believing
what i say
for her
i love you
Mar 2014 · 653
Her Wish
Darkness has incapacitated my world
The nightmares come to life with their every word.

The moon strongly glistens to keep the sorrow-filled tears in place,
But my soul is crushed with every turn and glance and stare and gaze.

With every look, the envy is sharp poison,
I’m so confused- what are these mixed emotions?

I wish for the common comfort of the warm light which I seek,
Shall the sun rise once again & melt this lonesome dark so bleak?

My heart aches with each moment apart from you,
I go insane each night—if only you knew.

I pray and yearn so ardently that you, too, feel the same way,
I best believe you know in my heart it’s you.

For who else is it that I miss; who else can melt this darkness?
You and you alone; the only reason for this emptiness.

I still love you so much despite all that’s been.
I still want you despite what all this may seem.

And still I await for the joyous moment that we will be,
‘till then, I’m here, loving you as much as the heart allows me.
her wish
Jan 2014 · 628
4C's
confused
i'm not sure where this is headed
when you leave
would you stay?

contradictions
you tell me things
that don’t match your actions
real or not?

conceited
not attention deficit
but the things you do
is that what you are?

consistency
please, please
that's all i ask
don't ever get tired.
But in the end, the one who got tired was me
Nov 2013 · 632
For her
We decided
to stop over thinking.
No regrets
just love.
Embrace the truth
happiness will come to you.
Oct 2013 · 937
Almost Perfect
Perfect ---- if only I could use that word to describe you
Whose eyes could be compared to the serenity of the sky’s hue.
If given the chance to make any of my wishes come true
I’d choose the one that would give me nothing else but you.

Whenever our hands touch, my heart skips its beat
The cold of the night fades as if the sun has given off its heat.
To you my love no one else could compete,
Oh, darling you really do make my life complete.

The sound of your voice brings music to my ears,
With just one embrace you take away all of my fears,
With you I know I’d never shed my tears,
With you in my life a whole new world appears.

You are the sun that brightens up my day,
The heaven I would want to see someday,
The beautiful sunset I await at the end of each day,
The smile on my face that you see every day.

Perfect ---- if only I could use that word to describe you,
To whom I’ve said “I love you” but still hasn’t got a clue,
If given the chance to make any of my wishes come true,
I’d ask for nothing else coz I already have you.
almost perfect
Oct 2013 · 553
A Heart's Secret
In the midst of all the heartache
You came down just like an earthquake
Giving me strength when I was at my weakest
Taking all the pain out of my fragile chest.

The moment was simply magical and enchanting
Your beautiful face was totally mesmerizing
Instantly the sadness that crept beneath me vanished
You were more than what I could have ever wished.

You are the one that sets my heart ablaze
When I am with you everything else’s a haze
You are in my thoughts every minute of the day
And when you smile I run out of words to say.

You are the melody in the songs that I love to hear
My world suddenly stops whenever you are near
You are in my dreams every hour of the night
You are as beautiful as a lovely bird in flight.

But sadly my feelings for you will never be known
So now I guess I would be spending my forever alone
I cannot confess this secret that I hide in my heart
For I am afraid that it will tear our friendship apart.

And now I have to wait in vain for the right time
So I will just express what I feel for you in this short rhyme
And even if forever has ended I would still love you
Even if in the depths of my heart it pains me to.
a heart's secret
Oct 2013 · 810
Queer Fascination
Tie me up, don't let go
I'd rather be kept away than let these feelings grow.
If you may, cover my eyes
To keep me away from admiring the beauty of her smile.
queer fascination
Oct 2013 · 599
Secret Dalliance
Confused, scattered, torn
the need to feel you
sends shivers down
my spine.

Eyes closed, breathing ragged
the rhythmic movements
closer I get to the edge
the faster you plunge against
the softness within.

Whispers and whimpers
music to my ears
nails digging deep
scratches—bittersweet.

Together we explode
skin to skin
mind and soul
two become one.
secret dalliance, carnal affairs

— The End —