I am not a pleasant person, or even really all that nice.
Instead imagine me as the broken glass you backed over and now are left with a flat tire.
The one black sock in your load of whites, staining the fabric in shame.
That annoying buzzing in your ear that never goes away.
The wall you stubbed your toe on in the middle of the night and screamed, "*******!"

I am not a Sunday morning
or even
a Friday night's lay.
I'm a Monday, 5PM traffic hour just waiting to flip you the bird.
I am the gum on the sidewalk which you happened to step in.
I'm a disaster.
A train wreck.
The red stain on existence, that won't ever come out.

I'll never will be any thing like, a simple smile. Or even a timeless wonder.

I am the darkness that dances in the light.

I am me.
Unpleasant and really not that nice.

I've noticed that there is a natural process of
shedding the residue of high school off
the insides of my skin.
It flakes away
achingly
slow in its time -
disintegrating  
like the silk chrysalis of a caterpillar's
bloom into a butterfly.

June 4, 2013 10:52 AM

I go to school everyday,
even though its filled with dismay.
At night I pray,
but my prayers arent answered.
I still pray,
because God will not betray.
I await that day,
that God will give way.
That day will come,
and with it, the end of all hurt will die away.