Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
I didn't know what hit me
A roller coaster ride of emotions
One day I'm happy
Next, I'm tired

I didn't know what hit me
Your love so overwhelming
You caught me off-guard
A love so ecstatic
A love so pure
A love so beautiful
And I can't take it all in

I'm unlovable
Can't even take hugs seriously
Can't even make my own cup of coffee
Can't even make my brain be happy

But you taught me how to
You taught me all the things I can't even teach myself
You made me do all the things I won't even try
You even made me love myself.

But you were never mine
Never mine to begin with
Never mine to end this
  Jun 2018 Joshua Jewel Palolan
Beaux
If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
In the middle of the night
My world stopped spinning
Moments when you walked out of the door
Head is spinning
and my eyes are ******* sore
I knew
-------this will be my last

I loved you
I loved you too much

I was too stupid
Too stupid to know how love works
Too young to know how it should be
Too naive to make it mine

I had to take this break
I have to take the blame
I thought I love you
and I dreamed that you loved me too

Sorry for me being stupid
Sorry for not recognizing the signs
I was drunk of the notion that you love me back

I have to pull the trigger
and I know this is better for me too.
Is there anybody out there?
When I'll shout to the cosmos
Will someone reply?

Let me out
Let me out of this world
Drenched in blood
Stormed by bullets
Drowned in violence

Will someone rise?
A hero, a knight, or god maybe?
Will they here what I have to say?
Will humanity change the way it is?
The clock strikes 12
Memories came knocking on my head
I thought a new day is a new beginning
but why am I still struggling?

The clock strikes 12
Tick, tock, tick, tock
Why does midnight remind me of you?
Leaving me to sing songs
Of sadness and monochrome hues

Why do days need beginnings?
Why do days always had to end?
Why do fairy tales need happy endings?
What if there is no once upon a time?

Singing songs of blues
Everything that I had
was in jeopardy of being lost
Why do I need to hit reset?
When all I wanted was a rewind.
Let me go home
Let me go home my love

The sorrows I have dealt
I can't deal with it no more
I'll exchange my everything
Just to gain happiness
Just lead me home
Just lead me home, my princess

Lend me your heart
Lend me your heart my love

The happiness that you bring
I want to take it all
I'll give you my everything
Just to feel your beat
Just let me lend it for a bit
Lend it for a bit

Let me listen to your voice
Let me listen to your words, my love

When the wind whistle on a cold night
Trees sway in pale
Cicadas fill the noises
Let me dance to your tune
Let me dance to your music

Let me dance on our campfire
Let me sing in the darkness
Let me shout for your name
Let me hear your heartbeat
Let me
Just let me.
For I am afraid
I am afraid of the world you drew me into.
Where were you when the lights grew dark
When I was alone at a blank space from morning till dawn
What type of love you have shown
Who gave you the notion that love is something to be thrown
Why give me I love yous when you freely give it away in your phone
Next page