A pathway lit with the lamps for the night
Winter's slowly crawling through
Took a deep breath then sighed
As I took off my earphones
I started to cry

As I was playing Beethoven
Something inside died
Someone took my heart
Flashbacks begun to start

I remembered when I played Fur Elise
You slept crying
Trying to hide something
Something you did not want me to know
Hid it deep, deep down below

Ran as fast as I can
Just to catch up to you
But I was late
Now past eight
and I just stood at the door gazin'

You were like an angel
Now dressed in white
Surrounded by flowers and light
Sorry, I haven't seen you in a while
You were as beautiful as the sunset
and grander than the bluebonnet

Walking towards you
Holding my tears back
Heart was heavy
As I glanced at you
One last time

Regrets came rushing
Picked up my phone and ran out
Shouted to the heavens
Cursed at the gods
Bargained to let me see her alive one last time

All you gave me was music
The songs, the meanings, the lyrics
The notes, the keys, the rhythm
Slowly I returned inside
and played your gift

I opened the piano
It was childhood all over again
Played your favorite piece, Love's Sorrow
I saw an image of you

Every stroke it was painful
Every note I was hurting
As memories came flushing
and the song showed me
how it made you smile and cry

I want to dance with you again, Ma
I will play a song and loop it for eternity
I want you to sing for me again
And I'll play the piano for you
I will gladly be

I'll dance for you
Even if my feet does not want me to
I'll write you endless songs
Just be with me one last time
I'll tell you stories
When you can't fall asleep
I'll kiss your forehead, Ma
and I'll tell you I will always be here
and you will be with me

I ended the piece
Like how you always ended your's
and I know you'll be in peace
Because all I saw you smiling
One last time

If you don't love me anymore
Just tell me
If things got bored
Just hold me
If our story is not meant to be
I'll let you go

But if I let you go
Mind if I tell you this?
Hummingbirds become flocks of crow
Skies go dark and the winds are cold
As the sun grew dimmer
And the land grew pale

As my whole world came down crashing
As flashbacks ran through my mind
Your friends still laughing
Because I was not always fine

The rush of emotions
The guilt,the regrets
The moments I should have took
No,I'm just useless
No matter where I look

The pandemonium inside of me
The screams
The whispers
For all I had left
Is my memory with you

But I wore a mask
Just to hide
Hide the tears that came flowing
The scratches painted through my skin
and swollen fists when I fought walls

Bathe myself with alcohol
Just waiting for you to call
But I guess I will never get it
and never even think about it

For I will never be okay
Perhaps not today
But when I'll get over you
I don't even have a clue

Dopamine are running low
Black and whites are all I saw
This emptiness
This loneliness

Lying at my bed till 3pm
Never took lunch nor breakfast
I felt like I was drowning
Drowning on regrets
By what ifs and how
I wanted to die right now

Confused as ****
Because luck was never at my side
My mind tells me to pull the trigger
But my body tells me dont

Wearing this fake smile
To ward people off
It was never okay
To be asked if your okay
In my mind I was a warrior
but my brain says I'm not

Oh god please
Praying, let this thing go
This darkness that overheads me
It feels like it was always
a stormy weather everyday
But just clouds and no rain
Am I going insane?

Always fighting
Always troubled
Always seeing this shadow
Always grasping what it is

Then I saw you
and the sun finally came
I didn't even took the blame
It was blinding
But it was warm
and the happy hormones began to swarm

I wanted to make memories again
I wanted to live again
Never did I recognized myself
After you changed me


For it was summer all again
After the long harsh winter
It was warm
and I was happy again

I wish there was a time
A time where we are sitting together
Watching movies
Just laughing
Just smiling
Oh God please, please give me a sign
Hoping for anything sayin'
I'll be fine

To the one who'll brighten up my days
Cause my days were dark
The one I'll listen to
no matter what she says
Even if it's boring, interesting or sad
The one who'll make me cry
Not because I was hurt
But because she took that pain away
The one who will make me feel special
Not because I am special for her
But she is special for me
The one who will "The One"
Because I haven't loved anyone more than her
Even myself

I will not be selfish enough to make you stay
Nor good enough to make you say,
"Man, you're great to be with"
Because I am always a deadbeat
I'm not good with crowds
But I think I'm good with you
Even if you don't look good with me
But I'll promise to make you happy
I'm not cheesy
But I know jokes

I will never be your perfect man
For I am not hot
Rich? I am not
Fit? I'm afraid not
For all I offer are words
For I love words
and I will never lie
and I love you
Cause words never die

For I will always love day
Because my days were days
and my cries were cries
For I will always be grateful
You brought back my smile
And I don't want to die
Just yet
Till I see you smile
And I was the reason why