I remember the first breath of life
the blinding light of an innocent world
and the warmth of love and endearment.

I remember the first wobbly steps
through gurgles of a language only I understood
and the toothless smile reflected off my twin on the wall.

I remember the first spark of friendship
when I laughed and you laughed
and we smiled as the red string around our fingers tightened.

I remember the first pounding of my heart
when I locked eyes with smiling eyes
and I swore my heart was racing with the winds.

I remember the first ***** of betrayal
with screams and stares of hate and anger
hands trembling as we cut off the tied red string on our fingers.

I remember the first swell of pride
when I presented a night’s worth of work
and was showered with praise and adoration with smiles painted everywhere.

I remember the first door to literature
with the intoxicating smell of ink and weathered down pages
and lives spoken through words and feelings.

I remember my first shattered heart
frozen and numb with shock and acceptance
with thoughts only on why?

I remember the first light of love
through hugs and accepting smiles
adding to my growing smile and happiness.

I remember the first heartfelt separation
with happy excitement and tearful goodbyes
as I left without looking back.

I remember the first new beginning
as I stared at the foreign neighborhood
and wondered about the million possibilities that laid within it.

I remember the first dawning realization
when I stood alone and clueless
and knew that nobody would come to help me.

I remember the first timid attempt
as I spoke up and tried to connect
desperately clawing myself out of my protective hole.

I remember the first true smile
laughing and giggling and chuckling with friends
in the open air of freedom away from the confined hole.

I remember the first repeats into my shell
when being brave and assertive was too much
and the hole seemed so much more than just a jail.

I remember the first self-hatred
with fear imprinted in my eyes
and how could I let myself continue this way?

I remember the first new change
from the moldable girl who lost her way
to the fiery girl who decided to carve her own path.

I remember the first self-love
when I looked in the mirror and didn’t flinch
as I saw a beautiful girl who worked for what she wanted.

I remember many things,
many firsts of my life,
many positives and negatives,
many unforgettable moments,
which still continue on within a girl;
on and on until the end of time.

Flying so high
Up in the sky
My wings spread out so wide

Heeding from height
Appraising the sight
My heart ensue astride

Whizzing through
The bright sky blue
No thought of perch reside

Decline I may
I won't dismay
For crave for flying won't subside

For thousandth time
I'll do this crime
Just to spread anew wing wide...

Bright as day, dark as night.
Out in the open, hidden from sight.
Some will flow, some you will fight,
but sooner or later they’ll come to the light.

Sometimes joy, sometimes disgust.
Sometimes fear, betrayal, distrust.
Sometimes passive, sometimes fuming.
Sometime you don’t know which ones are blooming.
But they are there, it’s clear to see.
Feelings are: a mystery.

If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation
Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you

NATURAL PRAYER_ Membis Godwin

My Lord: my God,I say this prayer not for me,
But the One in my heart who 've stood by me:
That my languishing sympathetic friend
Who walked with me in wilderness till end.
I pray not for Favour,fame nor wealth:
All would end soon with conquering death.
Health and friends to mary with: I don't pray
Rather,for what that would always stay
Here and here-after_ all in peace of mind.
I pray for that to in that weary-heart stand,
Watered daily by what the eyes sees,
What nose breath and what the soul feels.
May the slim Spirit grow strong and mature
And may my Friend fall in love with Nature.

This morning I looked in those small brown eyes.
I saw the past and present
At a same time.

My heart's start choking
And tears just fell down.
Her pure heart and humble  eyes crushed me apart.
An for the first time
I felt stars stumbling in the sky