Emptiness has filled me for days now.
The only remnant of joy is when my mind is blank.
Then I can smile and show the world
The ocean.
The tide has not come in yet.
And the glass is only half empty.
I think I am as optimistic as I can be.
The sun on the waves.
Reflection in the aquatic
Mirror.
But the glass breaks and twists me into a spiderweb
Of scars that I find on my body.
No one inhabits this silky realm; I am alone.
I talk to myself. I create friends
And I watch television.
Text and play games on my iPad.

I write poems. But none of it is real.
I could swear it is all in my head.
Because who in this ****** up world would actually
Stick around
To untangle me from these scars,
Glue the pieces of the glassy ice back together and take me to the ocean
To swim.

But I am allergic to saltwater.

Lucifer...

Hah! Someone needs to go back to their first grade spelling class.
The King of Hell, Fallen Angel, Lord of Demons.
His name is more complex.

His name is Life.

He robs you of all happiness, feeds on your dreams
And ***** them out in a plastic, portable bathroom.
Disgusting things.

The King of Hell is one with us.
Walks, stalks, hides in our shadows, following and affecting every move.
In every. Waking. Moment.
And watches us in our sleep.

His name is Life.
And we are alive... Aren't we?

My eyes have been replaced with black mirrors.
You can't see what is inside of me anymore.

Everything has been turned against me.
I don't know how to live without what I have always known.

But, when I find that she has lied to me...
Manipulated me and the one who was there for me more than she was...
And opened a door to my darkest theater of mind,
My most horrifying memory...

My eyes have been replaced with black holes,
Absorbing every word, every action,
And I still haven't found my answers.

Falling back, retreating.
I am not a good soldier.

I am a broken soul, and it shows.
But, even so, someone told me that I
Was stronger than I thought I was.

All I could ask myself was,

*"Then why did I do it?"

This cold, melted demon runs through
The veins that only you can truly heat.
The chilled whispers this child of Lilith
Calls, breathes into me.
His thick claws digging in my gut,
Making me bend and twist in pain
And surrender.
The blood loss and frozen, searing agony
Causing my legs to give out.

I can not stand.
I cannot think.
I cannot see. I cannot breathe I cannot speakicannot
lie.
I love this blindingly Black Blood.

In corny cartoons,
And cheesy adventure movies,
The hero always falls from a cliff.
A tree root always protrudes and saves them.

Love, you are my hero. The strongest man
I have ever known.
But tonight, you fell. I was worried when you
First looked at me that way
And came closer. And you fell.

I want to stop you, mid freefall.
I want to save you like you saved me.
Let me be the tree root that you grasp
And hang onto for dear life.

Let me be the hero for once.

I know who I am now.

Like love, just know time.

You've heard the story. You've heard the tale of the girl falling through
The looking glass that led to a fantasy land.
But it's not all true. It is not everything it was made out to be.
The actors behind the glass mock us, telling us the stories we only dream about.
They pretend to be us, drawing us into their devilish crisis,
Telling us it is okay to imagine our demise,
We tumble into the portal,
Chasing a rabid rabbit.
It bites.
And as we become infected, the darkness creeps in, flashing lights, floating orbs,
And cursed flowers shriek like a siren, and ****** like a succubus.
The mad hatter is the only sane one compared to us, but he pretends to fit in.
And the queen, she is not as ****** as she is made out to be.
She can teach us how to hide it.
Learn us a thing or two.

Like how to paint your pale lips ruby red.
Like how to smile, even if it is fake; only some care to see the real thing.
And that is the ****** up reality. No one cares about anyone but themselves.
And that's what Alice is for. We fall for it, through the looking glass, and
Trip over our own fallen soldiers.