Interrogate my sincerity
When I say that I am ready
Beat your chest when you know it’s true
There isn’t a war I’m willing to lose
When my heart is the battlefield
Choose your weapon
And surrender

Heavy
It’s the only word I have
The only feeling

Arrhythmia
the push and pull, the dissonance,
the heavy trawl of weightlessness—
the irony of freedom.
I wonder where souls like ours end up—
on a bookshelf, in the bleeding hearts of poets
or dead, forgotten, wishing we would have loved one wholly instead of many in parceled fragments.

I won’t hurt for you
I won’t ache
Because I swore I wouldn’t tether
And pain is just an anchor
And my heart is an albatross
building nests in dark places
until the season of our return to the altar
where we will dive, head first, fearlessly,
into remembrance of this white-winged dance
I will moult the dust of summer,
scorch the hearts of those not made to burn
Because the ego must dissolve
And you must lick the ash from my phoenix lips
And let me go

I’m overflowing
Radiating high vibrations
My body cannot contain it
My hands are shaking
So I run, give them to the earth beneath my feet
and she drinks them
and I hope they dissolve into what you need
and I hope she returns it to you, with no trace of where it came from
Because all I need is to give
and it doesn’t matter what form that takes
As long as it makes its way back to you

Mysteries, riddles and magic
I could close my eyes and find you by the frequency of your soul’s vibrations
Dare me, dead sober
Tie my hands behind my back
Make me senseless
The clarity I have is out of body
What I feel is formless
And you don’t have to stay
But you don’t have to go
If you don’t want to
I won’t try to change you, chain you, rearrange you
It’s okay if you don’t want it
It’s a gift, not an ultimatum
I’ll set it down at your feet
Walk away, bow out, pray
This is weightlessness
Ego death
Reincarnation

Sometimes
Sometimes
Sometimes
Late at night
I think about you

And I piece together the way we danced
between each other like sunlight, moonlight, sky

It doesn't hurt anymore
When the reels roll behind my eyes, closed
Open — I feel open, now, and free

And I will always love you
Because I choose to, because I can
But I don’t want your love
Because now I know it was half-hearted
And it doesn't matter why
And I forgive you
And I am breathing such deep breaths, an infinite belly
When then, I was purple, choking, so desperate to be seen

Now I know: Boundaries
Now I see: A mosaic
And it all makes sense
And I’m sorry
For holding on