i don’t understand you
but i’d really like to know
what it is that makes you smile
and how i can help you grow

it’s hard for me to see you blue
i really want to comfort you
but even when you're navy blue
i promise, i still i love you

it’s not your fault for feeling down
if you take a look around
the world is a lil ****** right now
the world in which you nearly drowned

branded with a burden not yours,
names you never earned
stories that were written wrong
you can still re-write your own

people who come from pain and strife
and still can smile at strangers
are the strongest people in this world
to me these people are angels

you’ve grown a garden of your own
built kindness from neglect
and still you offer flowers
to those you’ve barely met

we’re all broken to some extent
and we must pick up the pieces
i know you’ve tried it much before
and felt the blizzards freezes

so i’m here to let you know
you won’t have to do it alone
i want to greet your demons
and understand their reasons

i can’t fix what wasn’t broken by me
and no mending needs to be sewn
but i can sit with you in silence
until the silence feels like home

broken things can still be changed
transformed into something new
whichever pieces are missing
i’ll help you find a few
but only if you want me to!

the gentle yet strong human inside
is waiting to be seen
maybe you feel it trembling there
maybe you hear it scream

I’m lucky to see him every day
he makes me laugh my worries away

I hope i can do the same for you
I hope i can take away some blue

dip those toes
in streams of unknown
wade through dreams
a peak of unseen

dust off the craze
walk into the maze
of secrets untold
a life will unfold

unforgotten its luck
so **** it all up
then **** it back together

leave it for divine
fall back into time

spirits high, spirits low
binary divide
two lives intertwined

a master of none
what will become?
hold the unknown
and find a home
you are never, never alone

brush and shovel
sweep it up

i have learned
to fill my cup

i aim to be a gardener of souls
who plants seeds for roots to grow

to feed one in hunger
and water one in thirst

i aim to be a gardener of souls
who weaves sweet life with death

aid spirits to bloom and bend
from the souls that I will tend

but once i was a gardener of towers
who whispered sweet words
to boost bullies powers

who swept all the lies
that killed innocent life

so i prayed and i screamed
and lived
on my knees

but now i believe  
I’ll die
on my feet

that’s why i aim to be a gardener of souls
who walks through grasses of joy
and when gardener grows old
as the plants have foretold

i’ll lay embroiled with the soil
as lessons fast uncoil

i aim to be a gardener of life
who invests in love and light
laughter is the food i’ll eat
the air i’ll breathe is pure delight

i aim to be a gardener of souls
and what i sow i’ll reap
i’ll listen to the melody
from trees who only teach.

i aim to be a gardener of souls
who will rake the leaves
as they bleed secrets
a fool dares not receive

but a gardener of souls
knows of natural wisdom

through long droughts
through fierce floods

a lesson to devour

no rain; no flowers
no pain; no powers

but those up in their towers
the gardens of cowards
your grave
is far
below

all this prettiness
wasted on me

all this happiness
i pay a lethal fee

all this laughter
i haven’t heard a peep

i only feel it’s real
when i am asleep

no longer do i dream
no longer am i queen

and so i scream to seem
as if i feel i’m real

as if i know i know
as if the deal is sealed

but the silence sings its tune
as i beg, cry at the moon

please, please
what do i do?

is there more to discover?
has it all ran away?
gone towards another?

we can build again

a town of stone and brick
a home of truth and love

a city where they smile
a place where you belong

in a land far, far, away
where the trees laugh
with you

the wind holds us up
the sun gives warm hugs
the moon sings from her lungs

the ocean a second home
you have never been alone

a pixie born from nothing
but still laughing

a call from nowhere
is it doubt or faith?
can we be free?

the love is everywhere
you crazy ******
what else is there?
but everything

a friend if you can see
it hides
if you stay blind

there is only ever just that
you crazy ******

you love it
ah the goosebumps
drink your poison

not much longer now
just around the corner

don’t spoil it
it’s waiting patiently
soon you’ll see

life
as it was meant to be
a spirit who is free

you’ll see

I have misplaced myself
changing every ******* second
losing everything
marbles are everywhere
I have lost my marbles
I have misplaced myself

hiding away on the top shelf
dust is collecting
where do i go?
nobody knows
i have misplaced myself

things i wanna say
hiding away
things i wanna do
deep deep down
a girl
stuck inside a girl

i have misplaced myself
i have misplaced myself

i run
look around
what happened
to this town

dead smiles
deadly frowns
human spirit
broken down

not for me
i’d like
to be free

running
running
to what
i don’t know

to where i stand now
to family that’s found

today i am a square
predictable, straight, and fair
my edges wind and curve
to spite the minds unnerve

i feel the greatest depths
i walk along the fence
but couldn’t see a sign
the dark was far too bright

today i’ve lost my curls
no longer is there a girl
sworn to see what’s true
that was before i met you

sit here in this cold dark room
too easy to get lost in you
suddenly there comes a light
will i be free this time?

she’s freer than a butterfly
sweeter than a girls behind
stronger than the oceans waves
a lucky winner in this game
a game that’s long been played
a secret which she holds so close
a secret which she stays exposed

singing in the sunshine
dancing in the rain
in this world
she fears no pain
her cup it overflows with life
others collect and count their strife
fell down that hole once before
but she has learned to stay no more

a mother full of endless fun
a goddess from another sun
from those demons she won’t run
face them, shoot them, with her gun
she smiles when the darkness comes
she knows that she’s already won
no time for cowards, avail their powers
she knows the secret
no rain, no flowers

Happiness; it hides away
No light shines on me today

My soul is made of broken bones
My spirit sings its lonely moans

Tomorrow is a brand new day
The hope is that I fade away

The voice has lost it’s faithful ways
The hands no longer feel embrace

Thoughts they breathe of yesterday
My heart, it fleas; a castaway

Eyes of broken window glass
No time for me, he’s come at last

The darkness guides me, with it’s craze
These feelings now, an endless maze

Can I fix this hole i’ve made?
Can I fix this inhumane?

A whisper of the heart unsung
Tears are falling, still I’m numb

Another one has taken my place
A new name, a new face

I’ve taken my sane
It’s me whose to blame

Couldn’t find my soul a home
Grinded down, right to the bone

Another perfect wannabee
I ate the fruit of apple tree

Could I wake another day?
Could I wake a pure saint?

But time my friend reiterates
This could be my early grave

Out of body
in my element
too far to reach
give me less
let me rest

complaining
so restraining
illuminating
how you put it on

the sun goes down
here they come
ill never learn
we all burn

maybe that's the key
feeling nothing
its ecstasy

what do you do
when you know
just how far
it can go

can't keep going on
pretending, defending
in some sense
of relief
can't let go

only some
really grow

empty my mind
too much time
they all call it ******

hold your space
know your place
i see you
every time
tore me in two
running from you

where do i go?
nobody knows
drifting, i float
mind only explodes

Can we find again
what's never been found
it's all in your head
make them believe
make them fend

relinquished your power
what are the odds?
the king's lost his crown
the queen's lost her king
don't you drink too much
or you will drown

that's right
that's right
alright
run again
turn their heads
make your bed
and you all look the same

who'd have thought?
I guess it's a lesson learnt
if you play with fire
then you will burn

here they go again
those worries seem so small
the thought of losing
take it away
taken away
lost again
where are the trees?
where are my friends?

goosebumps have died
whose side are you on?
maybe we can hide
i'm gonna hold on

mum's crying
you're crying
the circus is on fire
split down the middle
it's not a clean cut

fill my cup
clean my wounds
but
i am not the same
give me your heart
and i will run again

Simmer down, simmer down
the lights gone from this town
what happened to the trees?
are we ever truly free?
are we ever truly seen?
simmer down, simmer down
same is sane in this town

we make our beds
we call them friends
we turn our heads
so we all look the same
a game that never ends
a game that's all pretend
same is sane, i'll say it again

so simmer down, simmer down
or **** your mind, join the hive
and play the game, and take their crown
but we soldiers march in unity
fighting for us all to drown
fighting for another day
another day, so we can fake
there's no light, it's take, take, take
open your eyes! for ***** sake

don't you want to feel alive?
instead of just survive?
but no
close your eyes, close your mind
don't be such a fool
you're acting like a clown
simmer down, simmer down
same in sane, in this town.

What a bland world
in which i now exist
no longer does he want me
no longer is there need

Oh but what a free world
in which i now exist
no longer do i wonder
much stronger, i persist

Walk in
head high
eyes wide
the first bridge

enter the realm
the second
the heart
and within
stay clear

there is a third
enter the veins
and see the small things sprout
across the final one
a drop of change
and a piece of you stays
that is the trade

don’t look back
no slack
go do it again
but they are not the same
with fear in the heart
go do it again

A hurricane of thoughts descends
what are we left with?
the road ahead, it twists and bends
try to throw it all on them
try and be a girl again

the layers you dwell on
the layers you deny
why do we even try?
climbing down the mountain you've claimed
such a pity. such a shame
a bad soul today
next thing you're saved

clean out that brain
go light it aflame
cause the truth its close to you
but your eyes are shut
there's answers within
but somehow you've forgot

go on then
throw it all away
show em how much
you can **** up in a day

dip those toes
in streams of unknown
wade through dreams
a peek of unseen
dust off the craze
walk into the maze
of secrets untold
a life will unfold
unforgotten it's luck
so **** it all up
then **** it back together
leave it for divine
fall back into time
spirits high, spirits low
binary divide
two lives intertwined
a master of none
what will become?
hold onto unknown
and find yourself a home
you are never, never alone

a crazy mother forgot
don't slap you in the face
shake your hand
rearrange the farce
remanded to that place
a foreign hole
godforsaken plains
fall from the plateau
and make yourself a home
scrape the dust
clean out your soul
and cry
let the water fall
rage steeped in love
drink from the cup
taste of days gone by
flavour of twisted lies
plant your seeds of hope
fix your gaze ahead
to the void of the unknown
hold your space
know your place
and do not forget
you are not
what you think you are

I found me standing all alone
face of stone
bone exposed
spirit cried to dream again
mind wired to die pretend

fickle eyes, fickle lies
i'll hit this one home
i'm not surprised
it's not mine
a soldier on their own

your demise
will shine this time
taught me to lie
taught me to whine
taught me to always
waste my time

you've crossed my line
i think it's a sign
you'll set me on fire
again, you're a liar
but to my surprise
i'll always rise

the tale is old
or so it seems
the life you've lived
the life you've grieved

when i was just a little girl
my mother was my whole **** world
she used to get me on one knee
she used to love to sing to me
“mother knows best
don't stray from the nest
it's you i adore
see you're not like the rest”

and from that tune
our souls enmeshed
and from that tune
a plague infests
the plague of the caged
I was trained to be strayed
i was layed in my grave

fickle smile, you ******* child
don't test me with your words
i've flown away
from chains of hate
i've grieved the days
a fresh clean slate

can never unsee
what you did to me
but it's true that i have learned
from a rotten egg
from a festered nest
i fly away a free bird

go on then, have a drink
remember how you used to think
remember how you used to ride
flying high in your fantasy
screaming, seemingly believing
'there's no way out for me'
in this sense you think you're free
on that road; an easy dream
see the path to hell feels like heaven
that's if you want to die at twenty-seven
to love yourself an impossible feat
cause why would you want to risk it all?
why would you want to stumble and fall?
you've gotta run, you've gotta hide
you are just trying to ******* survive
give you a break it's no big deal
you don't even know whats real
smoke the days away
drink the pain away
but when will you learn
the devils locked you in his cell
cause the road to heaven feels like hell