I see a flower glistening in the distance.
The light reflects off it in a way I can only describe as ethereal.
In the haze of the light,
I see my future;
my hope,
my self worth.
Like a foolish child, I run towards it.
As I take a step, a light drop of water falls onto me.
The farther I go, the harder the rain pounds until I can no longer hear my own footsteps.
The anger of the storm is overwhelming.
It’s all I see.
It’s all I hear.
As the thunder strikes it binds me to the cold and unforgiving storm.
My eyes flit to those around me who have found their way out.
A serene field awaited them beyond the dark clouds,
a refuge.
But this field of nightmares is all I’ve ever known.
The thunder screams around me,
consumes my will to fight.
It tightens a noose around my neck,
binds my wrists behind my back.
Why must it affect me in ways it does not others?
“I have to let it all go”
“I have to learn,
to breath,
to live.”
But the pounding rain that stings my eyes
is forever a rush that I will crave.
One that I will always give in to.
One that I will always run back to.
One that will never change.
Spring brings me false hope.
It will never bring me flowers.

When I last addressed you,
I considered you a former friend,
And after much consideration,
And re-evaluation,
I’m putting this debate to an end.
You were not my friend,
You never were,
Despite what I said,
And what I believed,
You never cared for me.
I was just an ear,
That you used for many years,
Oh, you caused me many fears,
Deprived me of cheer.
Friends don’t do what you did,
So I’ll say again,
You were not my friend,
And you never were.

You built the foundations of my being with your bear hands, though the pillars of salt filled all of my wounds.

You created everything that I am, though you've destroyed me all the same.

We are Atlantis, as we are lost

Your love showered comforting drops of reassurance until it became a storm, drowning out who I am

leaving me to wonder if we were ever real, or a narrative fabricated to dazzle the shining eyes all around us

In one breath you watched me rise, and then you killed my light.

You bashed my head into the wall, yet you were the one who kissed it better?

In what way does that make you a respectable person,
someone that I should value?

In what way does that mean I must devote my love and my life to you?

You think you are so deserving, as you sit and watch all the havoc you have wreaked unfold.

You are a dictator of my world

Telling me who I must be
Who I can see
And what I must do

The chains weigh me back as u run far ahead of me taunting at me to catch up,

when I don’t

You fight back.

You rip my hair from its holds,
you tear my skin until it is painted in crimson,
you pierce my heart with your weapon of words,

and yet at the end you repair me

you apologize for your sins and pray to me as if I were your god

You beg me for my forgiveness,
and I accept

Deep down I know you will never change

You will continue biting down on my tongue so that I may not utter the truth

You will still harm me the same way you always have

But you will deny it.
You will turn it on me.

You’ll tell me I cut my own hair off for being too reckless
You’ll tell me I skinned my own knees from being too foolish
You’ll tell me I pierced my own heart by being too trusting

Yet it was you I trusted.

You sculpted me from the clay you were given as it lay awkwardly in your hands
Yet when the kiln got too hot, you smashed it out of fear

You created me as a person, and killed me as a friend.

Slow dance with me through the apocalypse of space,
in which our words are mercurial.
toxicity is fed to my lungs
by your homemade oxygen,
as if my face of candere
is truly reaching out it’s hands
to find serenity in
swirls of mahogany tables.
and you are just looking for
a lost fluidity of soul.
transform yourself into calico;
so i can create a lucid dream
just. once. more.

let’s fuse up like aurora Borealis,
expand our cryptic galaxies
so all eyes can be on us.
radiate with acidic moon rays
when the incense rises;
already set for retrograde.
"Let’s explore satori".
you said. "but what if
your oxygen is cataclysmic?"
i whispered in a hushed tone.
being the antagonist
was bizarre to me at first.
but then i replied,
"i guess somewhere
is better than nowhere.
because i found you
when i couldn’t find myself".