Dreaming in Moonshine
Soaking into songs heard only through
The vibrations of insect wings
Breathing in their scented infusions within a double scene inside another unfolding painted image of what appears to be
A still depleting life
Casting shadows over my restless thoughts of both promise and deceit which constitutes the inner fold of what is love…
the counterfeit of existence
that lends itself to real
What is real (in my world)?
Coming forth to me
in moments in phases from
within
the possible
That lingers until the end of pond’s length containing the infinite drops that continue to fill it up by the immaculate hand of heaven’s reach
entrapping the limits that give shape to such incongruity
(There are always limits in the future even though there are so many possible ones in life- even if there are so many possibilities for us to see, to understand, to believe in, and to experience)
Traipsing into waters unknown
I learn the diligence of the dragonfly who hinges
on existential wings
On this journey of trial and error
I discover freedom wholly through the mystification of my own will and the emancipation of choice
only to be surrounded by the empty court of judgment
Seeing through buzz eyes dripping in nectar
an opalescent tune raises its brow
to trigger
The wind, which blows against the tenderness of heart yet calm and
(flowing) as if through a wand
swaying in the glory
that fate whispers in between the spaces of anorexic branches meeting
How can the iridescence of a sound, of a single word
Press with such kindness and bathe in such grandeur
I am amazed by the purity; by the simple beauty of this world
I recall someone telling me that just once in your life do you meet
the one who gives you the belief you never could find
The deep
stirring
(surge)
of your spate
running inside
the cord of your spine
How is that I am free today?
I wish for immortal meaning :
(self- reproach)
does not lead to fill me
Questioning …
but simply knowing
the stars
As they look to me
and choosing not to shine
on skin
not even
into eyes of gold
they look down on me
mocking insecurity
This is my reality at its core
As they move further
in between their departing
within a space
of sky
do they laugh
subconsciously
behind the falsity
of a perfect smile
looming
while the moon just sits up straight
and smirks beside
with faint and covered faces
squinting eyes
Never hinting
that this could all be just a dream
Unjust Inside these walls
But I know like a dream they will return
to keep me company in the mist (of shadows)
of a nightmare inside
I’m now in battle
to avoid
At times I feel slighted
yet wholly redeemed
I feel respected yet abused beyond all things
and sometimes it feels like I’m standing in front of the altar alone
(on the edge of the dock)
peering down at everybody I’ve ever known
about to dive in
to land on slippery greens floating swiftly in between (the ripples)
I feel chosen
Yet
I feel unseen
Dispraised for the things I’ve done
feeling no pain
do I fade...
Away
into the lambent (lucent)mist of efficacy:
into the Elysian fields of transcendent virtue
And there do I become everything I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve ever known
Only knowing that Love's darkest form is that of deceit in the illusion of each day, I am still. But more than that, I am still alive.
Thank you for saving my life.
Sometimes we have already died, but that is mere loneliness. We can prevent our own suicide.
