i don't even like you.
(i want to be just like you.)
i don't want to participate in your humiliation ritual
(i'm sick of being the sacrifice. spread someone else's ribs on the gym floor.)
**** conformity.
(i study every movement and take it for myself.)
**** conformity.
(i want to be just like you.)
**** conformity.
(can i wear your skin?)
don't come near me.
(i want proximity and brotherhood like a sick second hunger.)
please go away.
(please hit me without being afraid of hurting me. with all the tender force of brotherhood.)
i don't talk to him.
(look at me, look at me, look at me, please.)
i'm not good at sports.
(i work so hard and still come up short.)
don't hurt me.
(hurt me like a brother would. i am sick of you walking blood through the hall from the eggshells you walk on. i am not so fragile.)
i can smell the axe body spray.
(hit me like you know i can take it.)
please, no.
(i wish.)

My heart began to flutter,
I actually felt it beat insanely fast,
I wished my lines were smoother than butter,
And I was scared that my heart would be in a cast.

But I had to do it,
To tell her that I thought she was pretty,
So I whispered into her ears - to combat the loud edm beat -
I leaned down, hoping that my voice wasn't ******,

The pretty petite lady whispered thanks.
I was in such a haste that I forgot so say my name.
I hope she didn't think it was one of those pranks,
Upon exiting the venue, I began to ponder whether my attempt was lame.

Oh, I forgot to tell her my name!
I didn't even get her number...
The thoughts rushed in and I realised I was no longer the same :
Confidence and I were on good terms and my shyness was numbed.