Heartbeats in my eardrums, the rhythm of despair;

nobody ever said love was fair.

I know you are poison, I am well aware,

yet I cannot bring myself to care.


I clutch this rose, whose thorns bleed me dry,

drunk on the scent, so high I fly.

The crimson petals and blood drops that fall,

a lonely violin melodies a call.

Like Fire, the thorns burn into my palm,

I'd never let go – you are my calm.


At your command, a hypnotized thrall,

my soul, my love, you can have it all.

A dream, a dream! this must be it –

it overwhelms me bit by bit:

Sparks to stars to supernova light,

frost to 'flakes to an avalanche in white.


– My thoughts – in pieces – incandescent shine –

Conflagrate – this fantasy – finally mine –.

It's ironic that I keep addressing

these poems to you, to whom I'm confessing;

yet you will never read a single line,

just like you won't ever be mine.


We haven't much in common, truth be told,

you're a go-getter, and I'm not that bold.

You are the Fire - I merely smoke,

you're the real deal, I'm just a joke.

A reflection, a shadow, a distant dim glow,

the inklings of frost on a winter window.

Broken up pieces of soft sea glass,

a whisper that quickly will fade and pass.


You wouldn't even like this fluttery rhyme,

these wings without bodies that fly into time,

disappear in the veil of an anonymous abyss,

ephemeral sparkles that no one will miss.


My soul trickles into every verse;

not for a moment did I regret this curse.

It's bittersweet, this lovely pain,

your presence is a diamond rain -

sharp and brilliant, all in one.

You are the Moon, but also the Sun.

They ask me what I like about you -

as if it could be said in a sentence or two...

As if words could even express,

all the ways in which you make me a mess.


Oh, mad heart, if you could just quit

wishing and yearning, just for a bit.

I need a rest, from this lasting ache,

to stop thinking about him, asleep or awake.

Just give up, just don't, there isn't a hope,

you delude yourself, just start to cope.


"It's better to know then to keep wondering" -

but could I stand the rejection's sting?

Just holding these feels, it's too much to bear,

Sorry, can't help it, I simply care.

This way, at least, I'm the one to blame,

this way, I don't have to face the shame.

Somehow, it feels, just like control,

I'm hurting but I made the call.

Giving up and losing are two different things,

one pain is dull, the other one stings.

This way you won't feel sorry for me,

this way I get to keep my dignity.

Gracefully retrieve, and bow my head,

it's better, for all, that nothing is said.

I can't fight for you, that's not how it's done,

stubbornness isn't how love is won.

Perchance, I pray, I am mistaken,

From this bad dream, I might be awakened?

You might be braver, reach out first,

finally quench this maddening thirst?

Oh, it's a fool's heart speaking again,

a dreamer's mist; wondering "when?"

when will you notice, what a blindman could see,

what I feel everyone notices already?

Darling, answer my silent plea,

don't be cruel, I pray thee.

For when you look deep into my eyes,

you must know, there cannot be any lies.

It's cowardly of me, to leave it to you,

Sorry, again; that's all I can do.

I'll stay nearby, since I can't get away,

an ember of hope, a dawn of a day.

But regardless of all, I need to say,

thank you, my muse, my sunlight ray.

You never let down your guard.

Charming and polite; a poker-face behind the card.

Around you are walls of smiles and lies,

a fortress in which the true you hides.


I wonder if you are a little like me,

behind that mask of "always carefree".

I think there's more to you, for the little things you say,

quietly, in the evening, more truthfully than during day.

You're a little too perfect, to be fully real,

and I'm dying to know - what is your deal?

You keep declining, to join us and drink,

you must have your reasons, and that makes me think.

I won't drink either, since it's of no use

in forgetting about you - it just lights the fuse.

Though it would be easier, to just blame the liquor,

and the liquid courage, that makes it all quicker.

But there you go being a Good Influence on me,

my Silent Suffering, my Penance, my Ecstasy.

My mood is a sinusoid - either bliss or the void.

You throw me in shackles, then give me a crown;

I get my hopes up, before they crash back down.

You make me grow wings, then clip them in an instant

with all the little things that make you seem distant.

A kind word, a smile, and I'm in a dreamy cloud,

until my doubts return, harsh, black, and loud.

I weigh every word, read too much into yours,

it's getting absurd, my heart falls and soars.


I'll get away! Move on, have a fresh start -

and then you smile - all plans fall apart.

I rise and then stoop, I break, and I mend,

caught in a loop, a cycle without end;

Just like the heartbeats deep in my chest,

you'll soon speed them into cardiac arrest.

My heart keeps pounding (I must protest!)

to get out, to you, like a bird to its nest.

Nothing else could send it into this craze,

there isn't a chemical as strong as your gaze.

It beats like a bass - that much is true -

because you like techno, and I like you.

So close, too close, and yet not close enough -

Cupid has bound me to you with a silver cuff;

not that I mind, but I'm in too deep,

thinking about you, and I can't sleep.


Did you feel it too? - how my heart jumped,

I thought the whole room heard how loud it thumped -

when you leaned closer to whisper something,

the rest of my world blurred into nothing.

I'm going insane, just poetry and you,

life seems to have taken on a different hue.

I try to burn this love, collect the ashes in a heap,

but it comes back to life, and I can't sleep.


That smile, that angels would **** for,

every inch of you, all I adore;

I'm losing my breath, drowning in dreams,

empty fantasies, crystal sunlight beams.

Get out of my head, if you're not mine to keep,

you're always on my mind... and I can't sleep.

So drunk on you, without a drop of alcohol,

there's nothing I can do, even harder I fall

then I've already fallen; I'm high on this overdose,

because until midnight I had you so close.

It's torture, but sweet - just an inch away,

I never want this night to turn into day.


Lost in a chestnut forest that sparkles in your eyes,

we laughed and laughed, I didn't notice how time flies.

And you looked so happy when we won the game,

I wish every night could be the same.

And yet you remain so elusive to me,

a bittersweet pain, what we might be;

So nice to everyone, it's difficult to tell

whether you know, or if you also fell.

Bring me to life - give me a sign,

I have to know if you would be mine.

Would it overwhelm you if you knew?

Today I literally climbed I mountain for you.

And I'd do it again, to see that smile,

to drown in your eyes as I pass each mile.

Would you think less of me, if you knew?

I am a coward. And I will never tell you.

I'm grateful for the tiny, ephemeral things:

your voice is the gentle touch on guitar strings.



So, I take no risks - too high are the stakes;

I prefer little to nothing, to make no mistakes.

You know, from every card-game we played,

I am no gambler, my decisions are weighed.

Or perhaps, more truly, I am afraid,

too lose even these crumbs, if the wrong card is laid.


I wish I could tell you, all that I feel,

but my tongue is tied, on my lips there's a seal.

If you knew everything, from beginning to end,

would you no longer be even my friend?

Are we even that? Do you even care?

Is this image real, or mere lens flare?


You are the Dawn, the flash of light on dewdrops...

I'm just a poet, hollow wind in the treetops...

i haven’t seen you in so long
that i think, if i did,
i’d see the night sky lit up,
stars twinkling against pale blue
in your eyes.