I know you are the love of my life,
And i know you mean alot to me,
But those words will be the last that you use as your knife,
Even though i am the one who's going to be cutting you out.

You use my affection as an excuse to do what you want,
And back then,
I let you.
You used my flaws,
As your weapon against me,
Your words cut deep like a knife,
Even though i am the one who's cutting you,
Out.

I won't lie have made mistakes too,
I have hated and beat myself down for that,
That hurt.
I regret it.
But I'm only human.
You threw it back in my face every time we got in an argument,
Then have the audacity to tell me i always bring up the past.
You made me feel worse than i already felt,
Even if i was afraid to tell you the truth of the matter,
Can't explain,
Can't express,
I'm cutting you out.

I know when someone doesn't care,
They say the things you do,
They act the way you do.
But yet i forgave you.
I guess love is stupid,
No, I'm stupid.
I have to cut you out.

You think everything i do is drama,
Foolishness,
Petty,
Not worth it.
I'm replaceable.
Not important.
Waste of space.
My emotions mean nothing,
"Yeah that's what you do best, go write a poem!''
I'm cutting you out.

I need you out of my system,
Out of my head,
No
Get out of my heart,
I know you don't belong there,
Anymore.
I'll cut you,
Out.

I don't love you,
I hate you,
No wait i love you,
I don't hate you,
****,
Heart would you make up your "mind",
"Doesn't matter",
As you said,
Cut you out.

I know,
You're right,
Matter of fact,
I always do things wrong,
I cry on the inside,
While maintaining a perfect smile on the outside.
Sometimes with all these mixed emotions,
I forget who i am,
"Are you Miss. Jones?"
"No "
"I'm Miss.Understood."
For my sake,
I have to cut you out.

I don't like giving up on others,
But you made me give up on myself:
Disappointed in myself,
Thought i made your heart go "tick tock,''
Reality is,
I wasn't even worth your time.
As the clock ticks away,
I will cut you out.


                                                                                      Jonesy 2016 ©

I was here for three years now,
But it feels like a decade.
This place is filled of pity,
Flaws,
Insecurities,
Lies,
And a trapped little girl;
Her heart and mind are her only cell mates,
While her emotions are the officers who held her captive.

One day she got out,
And she felt free,
With her heart and mind,
Hand in hand,
She didn't want to go back to that cold, dark place,
Where no one understood her;
Free.

But sadly once a week that little girl goes back to that cold, dark place,
Its not her fault,
People laugh at her in the real world too.
The prison is no different.
At least she isn't judged there,
Cause no one knows how she feels on the inside.


                                                                                     Jonesy 2016 ©

I need someone that could help me out,
I need someone that will treat me like the queen i know i am,
I need someone that will understand all the flaws i have,
Well at least once.

I wish that i could be pretty too,
Like those other girls that have their lives figure out here, there, and through,
I wish that i was like the girl who knew her self worth,
Well at least once.

I wish i wasn't misunderstood,
I wish i wasn't so awkward,
I wish i could express myself better,
I wish i was accepted by my peers,
Well at least once.

I know that i could soar high in the sky,
Yes i will like a bird that was meant to fly,
I will conquer everything in sight,
With all my might,
Well at least once.

When those moments come show that you are brave,
And that you are a fighter,
Because these opportunities come.......
At least once.

                                                          ­                                 Jonesy 2016©