for months, the kind son
looked over her living corpse
to prolong her breath
but tonight he stepped outside
to waste his with cigarettes

Would you have wanted to know the colors of the sky
Just to let them fade and from your hands fly?
Is it better to know how jazz sounds like
And never hear it from any other mic?
Was the warmth of the ember worth it
Knowing you'll live in the cold and never again feel the heat?
Do you find the bizarre taste of comfort admirable?
Even if it'll only be served once on the table?
Is your scent worth remembering
Despite the undeniable fact that it's next to nothing?
Was it better to know and have hoped to forget
Or to be ignorant and completely have no memory nor idea of it?
Tell me, to which will I feel less bad:
To lose or to not have had?

Somehow this moment repeats indefinitely
The very point in which you heavily defend
The same four words that you say incessantly
An oxymoron that I’ve heard time and time again
But if I agree, then I’m the only one that’s wrong
And if I disagree, it’s “the ending that I’ve wanted all along”

Am I waiting for the same old fight again?
You’ve poked these holes in my heart with safety pins
Expect me to soak my battle wounds in juice ‘n’ gin
When it’s all over, I don’t need another ‘friend’
And when you go, surely I will let you be
But don’t expect to find ‘us’ alive in a future fantasy

Because I am waiting for you to finally be clear
And I am waiting for the last words that I’ll want to hear
Planned your routine until the cycle breaks down
If you were alone, then why was I always around?
And if I never truly cared right from the start
Could you honestly say you’d make it this far?
If you’ve done it all on your own with no one’s help
Maybe you should be fine to continue by yourself.

Somehow you’re always coming back to this
And I fill in the parts where irrationality would miss
Painted my story black and white and red so you could see
That there’s nothing between the lines you couldn’t read.