I loved him
because I couldn't love myself,

I loved him
because he was showing me how to love me,

I loved him,
because he knew the me no one else could see,

I loved him
because he saw me, for me, and no one else's reflection

I loved him
because he pulled me out into the sunshine I was missing out on,

I loved him
because he watches me recover and helps me get though,

I loved him
because he remembered my eyes were brown and not blue,

I loved him
because his hair was the long hair I didn't have,

I loved him
because I played with the hair while I sobbed on his shoulders,

I loved him
because I cried and he comforted me, when I upset him and me,

I loved him
because he never got angry with me

I loved him
because he never threatened me for ****** needs,

I loved him
because he took things at my pace,

I loved him,
because he never raised his open or closed hand,

I love him,
because I feel safe.

I no longer cry for him, but I'll always die for him. He meant that much to me, he was my world. I still feel the sting of the pain from his words and actions. Those, I fear, will never disappear. I'm not 'in love' with him anymore, but I will always love him. He'll hold a special place in my heart forever. I don't long for him at night time anymore, and he's not constantly on my mind anymore either, is this a good thing? I got a chance to see him and hang out with him, and it wasn't awkward, and I didn't feel the overwhelming urge of just wanting to hold him like he was mine to hold. I honestly didn't feel anything, but pain, hurt, and a hint of disgust. Is that bad? He's not mine, and I don't want him to be mine. But, why do I keep the drawings of him, or the Christmas card he gave me, or the pictures of him. All they do is bring back memories, and reminds me of how much his words, "I love you, Jenny... Now and Always" were all a lie, and they remind  me of how much I was so deeply in love with someone whose love for me vanished for whatever reason. All they do, is remind me of all the pain he caused me, and all the unseen tears I shed over him. I should get rid of them, to end all the pain they remind me of right?