here I go,
blundering through another day

trying to show up for my end of
the bargain.

I sit here,
with this pen and this notebook,
and the stuff is
supposed to barrel through me.


it's supposed to shake the debris free.

it's supposed to melt the lock.

it's supposed to blast my cemented mind apart.

it's supposed to summon shadows and make them dance.

it's supposed to swim on the surface of the sun.

it's supposed to show me all the rainbows in the darkness.

it's supposed to shine the silver on all my shredded scraps.

it's supposed to reach through all my ******* and show me:

     emeralds and pearls\teeth and knives\
     blood and glass.

it's supposed to twist the blade and spit in the ****.


but this morning,
it's the big bupkis
     -nada

just the weight
of its silence...



that *******
probably
has the
day off
too.

I've got a pet daemon,
Every once in a while, I let him out of his cage.
I find it most beneficial,
If every once in a while the wise one gets to play.

I've got a bad desire.
I want to see you when you're out of your skin.
My bad thoughts are inspired
By the ugly, dark world I live in.

No matter what you believe,
No matter what you think you've been told,
There's nothing you know about me.
I have never been the one to be a tortured soul.

A bead of crimson forming,
I see it and my heart starts to throb.
The story few people know,
Is the tale of my midnight macabre

It's like a tale from Lovecraft, brother,
But I was never surprised to gaze upon my face.
And I have always known it.
To others, there was barely a trace.

I revel in self-adulation.
Your pleasure brings me such pain.
I look in desperation upon you.
I want to see your tears fall like the rain.

I understand my desires.
I know why I exist .
I suffer from no allusions.
Your soul is meat, I am a carnivore.

I've got a pet daemon,
Every once in a while I, let him out of his cage.
I find it most beneficial,
If every once in a while that wise gets to play.